My best friend once made the mistake of telling me that she had written “Buffy” fan fiction when she was younger and I mercilessly teased her for years, even though it was that nerdy center that endeared her to me in the first place. Some of you may not be familiar with the steamy underground world of fan fiction where devoted fans think up (often sexy) scenarios for their favorite characters. For fun, we’ve rounded up six fanfic excerpts and taken out the nouns so you can guess which show/book/movie they are based on. Guess all six correctly and win ... dork credibility?

Destination weddings are all the rage in this recession, and now one lucky couple will get to live long and prosper with a “Star Trek” wedding of their dreams. The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia is holding a contest to find a couple who wants to be married or renew their vows on the bridge of the Enterprise inside a Star Trek exhibit at the Institute. The deadline to apply is June 24, so engaged Trekkies, you’d better hurry up and submit a photo and paragraph explaining why you’d want to say “I do” on the Enterprise. Sadly, we doubt Chris Pine will be able to make it to the ceremony. [Franklin Institute via Luxist]

I don’t know what there is to say about this random music video, featuring New Spock, Zachary Quinto, dripping with some sort of milky substance. It’s sexy, but also, WTF? [via Buzzfeed]

Oh, Chris Pine. Simcha and I are so sorry for doubting you. We didn’t think you had the brawny hotness to play Captain Kirk. We thought you were too pretty to battle the Romulans and woo the ladies with your rough, raw male charisma. But we were wrong. Oh. So. Wrong. Pine captures the essence of Captain Kirk without resorting to a Shatner impersonation, and he brings a whole new level of sexiness to the notorious ladies man character. For long time fans and new converts alike, here’s everything there is to know about the delicious Chris Pine.

This weekend, the new “Star Trek” prequel hits theaters. I’ve got tickets for the movie screening, but I bet it’ll be more of a sci-fi fashion show! Even the most die hard Trekkie has to wonder: Can a true lady boldly go to the theater in a costume?

Saturday

I’ve never announced this in such a public forum. I, Amelia, am a Trekkie. When I was 12, I wrote a book (200 pages, single-spaced). A Star Trek book. There was Trekkie friendship and Trekkie romance, and writing it was my outlet at a time when I was very shy and very acne-d. I have gone to not one but two “Star Trek” conventions—although, in my defense, it was my dad’s idea. My first celebrity crush was on Wil Wheaton, who played Wesley on “The Next Generation,” and I wrote him two fan letters. “Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan” is the best of the movies, but I hate “Star Trek: IV,” otherwise known as “the one with the whales.” I still watch “Star Trek” sometimes, when I catch an episode on TV, and no one is around to make fun of me. I have seen every episode of the first series and the “Next Generation” series multiples times, and I think the other series pale in comparison.

For 20 years, “Star Trek” has been my secret shame, my guilty pleasure. Being a “Star Trek” fan has never, ever, ever been cool. “Star Wars” and “Battlestar Gallactica” have always been for the cool nerds. “Star Trek” was for the friendless losers. But seeing Heidi Klum flashing the “Live Long and Prosper” gang sign at the L.A. premiere of the “Star Trek” prequel movie made me realize something. My secret shame is suddenly cool. And I am annoyed.

Finally. The adult movie every geek on the planet has spent his whole life waiting for: “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX.” As of late, Hustler Video has been on a bit of a roll, scoring with hot topic porn movies like “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin: Adventures of a Hockey MILF” and X-rated remakes of TV classics like “Not the Cosby’s XXX.” Now, they’ve decided to tackle the Star Trek franchise—Hustler’s “biggest production yet,” the press release crows!—with pornteur Axel Braun at the helm and sex on the bridge and in the transporter room. Hot. Can’t wait to see what Spock looks like nekkid. Does Uhura do anal? Is Kirk kinky? Does Bones bone? Ah, never mind. Just watch the not very revealing trailer. 

“Barack calls it my ‘Star Trek’ belt. He doesn’t understand fashion ... He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”

—Michelle Obama on her husband’s perception of her fashion sense.

This May will see the release of the latest Star Trek movie, directed by JJ Abrams and starring Chris Pine, Erica Bana, and ... Winona Ryder? Since Star Trek-loving nerds still abound, and what with a whole new generation of Star Trek geeks waiting to happen, a bevy of Star Trek related merch will be hitting store shelves when the movie premieres, in hopes of squeezing as many dollars as possible out of wannabe Trekkies. Star Trek Uno, anyone? Perhaps you’d prefer a Vulcan cookie jar. Or maybe you’d like to buy your man some ... Star Trek cologne? Genki Wear is producing a trio of Star Trek inspired scents: Tiberius, Pon Farr, and Red Shirt. So, if you want your man to smell like Captain Kirk, go into a Vulcan heat, or get down like a red shirt, Star Trek cologne can make it happen. That is, if you’d date a guy who’d wear it. [Huffington Post]

Back in the ‘90s, “Star Trek: The Next Generation” commissioned an episode involving gay characters in love. The script for “Blood And Fire” was about a deathly bloodworm epidemic, a metaphor for the AIDS crisis, and it was also the first time the multi-cultural show would have included homosexuals in any of their plots. Unfortunately, although creator Gene Roddenberry wanted to include positive representations of the gay community on his show, Paramount Studios wasn’t as forward thinking. But, like communicator/cell phones, the episode featuring gay lovers didn’t get made for real, until recently.  Thanks to the fan artist project “Star Trek: Phase II”, the show will boldly go gay in a webisode!  Working with the original writer, David Gerrold, and his premise, the fan crew also adapted the script about Kirk’s gay nephew to deal with the topical issue of same sex marriage.  You can check out the first half of the webisode tomorrow on YouTube, but if you just want to see the sexy parts, check out the video above. [io9]

Majel Roddenberry, the widow of “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry, died yesterday from leukemia at the age of 76. Though she was married to the show’s creator, she also was a key part of the show’s success from the very beginning. She became known for playing numerous characters, including Nurse Chapel on the original series, the voice of the ship’s computer, and Counselor Troi’s crazy mom on “The Next Generation.” She just finished recording voice over work for the newest “Star Trek” movie, which means her legacy will live on a little longer. [AP]

So, it’s still nearly six months until the moment Amelia and I have been waiting for—“Star Trek XI” comes out in May 2009!  But they’re already Kirk-teasing us (get it?) with two movie trailers. I have to say both of them totally burst my nerd bubble. Ugh, the Captain Chris Pine looks like the kind of tool you accidentally have sex with while on vacation. Only the combination of sun and margaritas would get your guard down enough to do his kind of douche bag. Honestly, I’d rather have sex with 70-something Shatner.  But on the up side, Spock is one hot of hunk of space junk!  So, maybe, just maybe there’s hope this prequel won’t suck.  Above is trailer #2, which at least has some original content.  Trailer #1 is just about a boring blow torch. [Star Trek Movie Site]

Last night, an African-American man made television history!  Sure, Barack has got our future in his very capable hands, but Will.i.am transported us straight into “Star Trek” territory! That’s right, the beat box behind the Black Eyed Peas, who also made the very viral “Yes We Can” video, was teleported into the CNN studio from Grant Park in Chicago. At a such a crucial time in our history, Anderson Cooper united nerds across this great land by saying, “Let’s see if we can beam him in.” Then, right there, before our very eyes, the first man ever in hologram, FOR REAL, on national television! 

Okay, so Will.i.am got it a little mixed up and said he felt like he was in “Star Wars.”  But, Cooper quickly corrected him that, much like cell phones, it was in fact The Trek that was responsible for this kind of totally awesome technology! [FYI, “Star Wars” had pre-recorded hologram messages (“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”) but could not beam people anywhere, though that sure would have come in handy.] Sigh, we love the Coop!