He’s done it before: left me alone in his apartment. But I haven’t done this—until now. It’s not as if these boxes haven’t always been filled with photographs; it’s not as if these leather notebooks weren’t always filled with his handwriting; it’s not as if the evidence hasn’t been lying around, out in the open, just begging for a little attention. But today the itch to explore is a little too itchy, and I guess our love is a little too, uh, lovely—so I’m not even waiting for him to leave.

The other night, when I was having dinner with a guy friend who told me my engagement history might scare off some guys, we also discussed the issue of privacy in a relationship and how big of a deal it can be when that privacy is violated. He maintains that checking your partner’s email, cell phone call log, and text messages is totally wrong, whereas I think it’s wrong, but not pathological or evil. Frankly, I know many women who do the occasional cell phone check or email glance (and a few women who do oh-so-much more), but what about guys? Do they ever pilfer through their girlfriends’ inboxes and Facebook accounts? I went to four taken guys on IM to find out.

I enjoy a good snoop—when I’m in a house that’s not my own, I have been known to rifle through a drawer or two, check out the medicine cabinet, and try on the owner’s clothing (including a wedding dress once). A few months ago, when my fiance was out of town, I went through all his photos of him with his ex-girlfriend. Sometimes, if he leaves his laptop on and his email is up there on the screen just BEGGING for me to take a looksie, I’ll glance, but never actually open anything. Then again, I have never seen anything that got my curiosity brewing beyond control.

The point is, everyone snoops, at least a little, and no one more so than the protagonist of the book I’m reading, Whacked by Jules Asner. It’s chick lit, but it’s not crappy or badly written, though it’s definitely beach-worthy. In the book, Dani uses her skills as a writer for CSI-esque crime show to snoop on everyone from the owners of the open houses she attends to her no-good boyfriend. I have to say, I was pretty impressed with her tactics and tips, as well as some of the handy online tools she used, so I decided to assemble a guide to snooping, after the jump. Don’t blame me if you get caught red-handed though. I am hardly a professional.

A girl walks into the wireless café that I frequent. She’s very pretty. I’ve seen her before, but never spoken to her. Today, the café’s pretty packed. The girl orders her drink. She looks around. Here is the big moment: Where will she sit? But what she’s clearly not factoring in to her decision, what I don’t think this girl realizes, is the fact she’s being monitored like a Russian agent walking through the Pentagon. Man, I think, this is so unfair. If she only knew …

If she only knew, there is a spy network of guys, regulars at this café, that have formed an unlikely bond based upon – what else? – the pretty girls that come into the café. I am, admittedly, part of this network. We are an organized and immature bunch. We watch the girls walk in. We discreetly glance at each other to make sure the others see, too. We wait for them to sit next to us. We talk to them. And when they leave, we talk about them. Not like a bunch of gossip girls, but like suspicious agents: We’ve got information to share and we are willing to share it, but only if you have some information to share, too, pal.

We don’t know about you, but we’re kind of sneaky. We totally go through medicine cabinets when we’re at parties, listen in on other peoples’ phone conversations, and spy on our neighbors. Now we can peep on peeps from the comfort of our desk, or bed, or living room couch! And so can you! The Frisky‘s Amazing Guy Spy lets you plug in the name of any man and through the power of MAGIC, will tell you his dirtiest little secrets. You can also install The Amazing Guy Spy as a widget onto your Facebook page, Google homepage, etcetera. Hello, awesome.