Tag Archives: sperm

6 Terrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Donating Sperm

To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. It pays well (as we’ve pointed out before) and requires you to do nothing more than what you’d be doing anyway. And if you happen to help a childless couple along the way, that’s just icing on the cake.

Having actually been a sperm donor, I can say that you had better be prepared for a long haul. There are a lot of (horrifying) hoops to jump through, and then sperm banks expect you to masturbate like … well, like it’s your job.

And it’s not an easy one. Read more…

Sperm Bank Turning Away Redheads

The world’s largest sperm bank is turning away redheaded wankers, because no one wants their sperm. The director of Cryos International said the supply of redheads, who can make up to $500 for their DNA donation, far exceeds the demand. Instead, it is sperm donors with brown hair and brown eyes who are in the biggest demand, as Cryos’ largest customer base in Italy, Greece, and Spain. Indian donors are also in high demand because India doesn’t allow the exportation of sperm. The only demand for ginger-jizz comes from the wonderland of Ireland, where it sells “like hot cakes” — and, of course, me, who seeks a donation of Prince Harry‘s redheaded sperm specifically.

[International Business Times]
[Telegraph UK] Keep reading »

Rapports Opus, The Sperm-Sniffing Police Dog

Behold, woman’s new best friend. Rapports Opus is a police dog in Sweden who has been training for over a year to help police nab rapists by sniffing out sperm. This pup has just closed his first case. Last month, a woman was forced to perform oral sex on a man in a Swedish park. To help police collect evidence, Rapports Opus was brought in to find any trace amounts of semen left at the scene of the crime. Rapports Opus led investigators right to a sample that—bingo—matched the DNA of their prime suspect, a 23-year-old man. Investigators expect the court case to be open and shut. Nice work, Rapports Opus. Anyone else hoping he inspires a sequel to “K-9″? [Newser, The Local] Keep reading »

Come And Get These Sperm Jeans!

One of my biggest fashion pet peeves are what Stacy London and Clinton Kelly of “What Not to Wear” call “fancy jeans.” That’s any pair of jeans that are bedazzled, painted, embellished, or appliqued in any way. I find “fancy jeans” offensive. But these “cum wad pants” take “fancy” to a whole new level. WHO and WHY? [The Clearly Dope] Keep reading »

Quickies: Halle Berry’s Ex Was Only Good As A Sperm Donor & Charlie Sheen Filmed A Porn?

  • Ooh, Halle Berry’s divorce is getting even nastier. The actress reportedly emailed Gabriel Aubry, her ex-husband and father of their daughter, and wrote, “You were only good for one thing … Thanks for the donation.” Burn. [RadarOnline]
  • Sorry, boys, but Kate Moss is off the market. Jamie Hince, a guitarist for The Kills, proposed to Kate on Tuesday night with a vintage 1920s engagement ring. [PopEater]
  • ZOMG, Jenny McCarthy is going to be on the next season of “Millionaire Matchmaker.” Who will Patti Stanger set her up with?! [PopEater]
  • Lord help us, Jennifer Aniston has released an eponymous perfume at Sephora. [Fox News]

Keep reading »

Sex Mustard, Albino Lipstick, Genetic Shower: 18 Revolting Terms For Sperm

Last week, we read about a woman who claimed her yogurt sample tasted like semen. We haven’t touched yogurt since then and it may take us a while before we do. The best thing to cum, er, come out of that unfortunate semen story were some fun (read as revolting) descriptives for man juice found in the comments, such as “hot phlegm” and “salty trash can water.” In case you weren’t grossed out enough already by these unappetizing descriptives, we put together a list of the some disturbing slang terms for spunk. Add yours in the comments. Keep reading »

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