Oh, is it a WORST NIGHTMARE kind of day? I think it must be, because this is (one of) my actual worst nightmare(s) (I’m neurotic as hell, what can I say): a 19-year-old Chinese woman cracked open a bottle of moisturizer and used much of the contents to, you know, moisturize her face, like womenz do. She noticed something was off about the cream, particularly the smell, and mentioned it to her roommate. You can see where this is going. Zeng Lin’s roommate revealed that, just as she had suspected, the moisturizer was not, in fact, moisturizer. Nah, it was just a bottle full of semen! Of course. Keep reading »
Are you eating? Because I can’t ask you to read a blog post about an art student who stored 68 vials of his own sperm in a school fridge without making sure.
Marc Bradley Johnson, 23, who attends the School of Visual Arts in New York City, planned an exhibition called “Take This Sperm And Be Free Of Me,” displaying 68 vials of his own spunk in a fridge, which he “harvested” himself, that visitors could take home. The jizz was meant to represent “creation, parenting, desire, masculinity, fantasy and reality.” He even agreed to microwave the sperm vials to kill off pathogens (and, bonus, achieve that freshly-harvested feeling of warmth!). Keep reading »
We know that sperm’s primary function to make babies happen. But this miracle juice is more multi-faceted than we suspected. According to some new research done by SUNY-Albany psychologist, Gordon Gallup, semen may simultaneously be the cause and the cure for morning sickness in pregnant women. Because half of the fetus’ DNA comes from the father, the mother’s body may initially treat the organism as foreign tissue or an infection. This response triggers the symptoms of morning sickness. “The best cure for this type of sickness,” says Gallup, “Is, strangely enough, the same thing as its cause. The more exposure a woman has to her partner’s semen—that is to say, the more often she’s inseminated prior to conception and during the early stages of the pregnancy—the more tolerance her body develops to his genetic material.”
You heard it. Miracle of miracles! Sperm may cure your morning sickness. Click onward for more hidden talents of the incredible, edible sperm. [Slate]
I just ate sushi for lunch and I had octopus ceviche last night for dinner. I eat so much seafood. I think I am going to pass out right now. Full panic onset. I just read about this case from the Journal of Parasitology where a Korean woman’s mouth was inseminated by a cooked squid. I say cooked meaning it was dead. So back to the story. The 63-year-old experienced pain in her mouth after eating a boiled squid’s internal organs. She had a “pricking and foreign-body sensation” in her mouth. When she went to the hospital, doctors removed a bunch of “small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva.” Translation: Squid sperm.
There are three things I’m going to do and in this order: 1) Brush my teeth for peace of mind, 2) Eliminate calamari from my diet forever,
3) Go watch the video of “Baby Without a Face.” That’s the only thing I can think of that scares me more than the thought of my dinner trying to impregnate my mouth. [i09]
[Writer's note: I believe this came out differently than intended. I was trying to use an example of something that upset me. On second thought it's distasteful. My apologies.]
Wilmington City Councilwoman Loretta Walsh was fed up with the recent spate of fetal personhood bills, which aim to declare that a woman’s fertilized egg is somehow the same as a “person.” So she decided to challenge those bills by introducing one of her own — a resolution to recognize the sacred life present in each sperm. Walsh drafted a resolution aimed at making it illegal for men to waste sperm. According to the language of the resolution:
[E]ach ‘egg person’ and each ‘sperm person’ should be deemed equal in the eyes of the government and be subject to the same laws and regulations as any other dependent minor and be protected against abuse, neglect or abandonment by the parent or guardian.
Keep reading »