sperm

Sarah Silverman Thinks Male Masturbation Should Be Legislated Like Abortion, Because Equality

Sperm is life, and you know what that means: We’ve gotta legislate that shit.”

Kylie Cheung |

Meet China’s Hands-Free Sperm Extractor Machine (For The Times When A Regular Handjob Won’t Do)

File this one under “Things I Had To Check Weren’t A Clickhole Post First”: hospitals in China have machines to extract sperm. The hands-free gizmos are used by urology departments…

Jessica Wakeman |

In Which A 67-Year-Old Teaches Us About Sperm Facials

Best-selling author (that term is used loosely in this case), life coach, couples counselor and tantric guide Stella Ralfini reveals the secret to having radiant, wrinkle-free skin at the age of 67:…

Ami Angelowicz |

Crocheted Sperm Are Cuddly, Soft And There’s No Mess To Clean Up

Your relationship with ejaculate doesn’t have to be as bad as Monica Lewinsky’s to appreciate a cuddly little sperm friend! These crocheted Spermies are sold by Etsy shop Wonka’s Willy…

Jessica Wakeman |

Doctor To Perform Vasectomies For A Live Audience To Make The World A Better Place

In honor of the inaugural World Vasectomy Day on October 18, Dr. Doug Stein of Florida wants to perform vasectomies at Adelaide’s Royal Institution of Australia. For a live audience. Fielding…

Mary Odell |

A Kilt Is A Sperm’s Best Friend

A kilt may not be your best friend because, while it provides easy access to the junk, let’s admit it, it can be hard to get it up for a…

Ami Angelowicz |

I’m Sorry, I Refuse To Drink A Semen Cocktail

I can endorse sperm as a cure for morning sickness or even as a natural mood booster, but, I’m sorry, I refuse to drink a semen cocktail. We all have…

Ami Angelowicz |

Chinese Woman Applies Moisturizer, Discovers It’s Actually Semen

Oh, is it a WORST NIGHTMARE kind of day? I think it must be, because this is (one of) my actual worst nightmare(s) (I’m neurotic as hell, what can I…

Rachel Krause |

Art School Confiscates 68 Vials Of Student’s Sperm

Are you eating? Because I can’t ask you to read a blog post about an art student who stored 68 vials of his own sperm in a school fridge without…

Jessica Wakeman |

Jennifer Garner Praises Ben Affleck’s “Wonder Sperm”

Jennifer Garner praised, grossly, Ben Affleck’s “wonder sperm” in a chat with Ellen DeGeneres. Why does this strangely feel like hearing your mom and dad having sex? [Babble]

Jessica Wakeman |

6 (More) Uses For Sperm

We know that sperm’s primary function to make babies happen. But this miracle juice is more multi-faceted than we suspected. According to some new research done by SUNY-Albany psychologist, Gordon…

Ami Angelowicz |

Help Me, Please: Cooked Squid Tries To Impregnate A Woman’s Mouth

I just ate sushi for lunch and I had octopus ceviche last night for dinner. I eat so much seafood. I think I am going to pass out right now.

Ami Angelowicz |

Hero Of The Week: City Councilwoman Loretta Walsh Proposes Bill Forbidding Men From Destroying Semen

Wilmington City Councilwoman Loretta Walsh was fed up with the recent spate of fetal personhood bills, which aim to declare that a woman’s fertilized egg is somehow the same as…

Julie Gerstein |

6 Terrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Donating Sperm

To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. It pays well (as we’ve pointed out before) and requires you to do nothing…

Cracked |

Sperm Bank Turning Away Redheads

The world’s largest sperm bank is turning away redheaded wankers, because no one wants their sperm. The director of Cryos International said the supply of redheads, who can make up…

Jessica Wakeman |

Rapports Opus, The Sperm-Sniffing Police Dog

Behold, woman’s new best friend. Rapports Opus is a police dog in Sweden who has been training for over a year to help police nab rapists by sniffing out sperm.

Kate Torgovnick/Kate-Book.com |

Come And Get These Sperm Jeans!

One of my biggest fashion pet peeves are what Stacy London and Clinton Kelly of “What Not to Wear” call “fancy jeans.” That’s any pair of jeans that are bedazzled,…

Ami Angelowicz |

Quickies: Halle Berry’s Ex Was Only Good As A Sperm Donor & Charlie Sheen Filmed A Porn?

Ooh, Halle Berry’s divorce is getting even nastier. The actress reportedly emailed Gabriel Aubry, her ex-husband and father of their daughter, and wrote, “You were only good for one…

Jessica Wakeman |

Sex Mustard, Albino Lipstick, Genetic Shower: 18 Revolting Terms For Sperm

Last week, we read about a woman who claimed her yogurt sample tasted like semen. We haven’t touched yogurt since then and it may take us a while before we…

The Frisky |
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