Um, did you guys see “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here” last night? If not, I’m really sorry because it was, in a word, amazing. Sanjaya from “American Idol” got chased by bees. Frangela, the hilarious duo from “Best Week Ever” who’ve been absent from my life for months now, are cast members. Also completely preposterous, the presence of Rod Blagojevich’s wife and Janice Dickinson. I hope they’ll be besties by the end of the season.
But the real story is, of course, Heidi and Spencer. Heidi cried a lot. And after finding out that, at some point, they’d have to take turns emptying the group’s PortaPotty, Spencer stormed off and gave us this sparkling gem:
“I’m too rich and I’m too famous to be sitting with these people and cleaning up their s**t in the jungle, my man. And this cast is devaluing our fame right now. I’m sitting next to VH1 comedians that I have never even seen before… I thought it was gonna be all celebrities.”
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On “The Hills” tonight, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will tie the knot with the big, princess wedding Heidi always dreamed of. For the festivities, they asked their entire Pasadena ‘hood to bow down. The two lovebirds petitioned their neighbors to allow them to shut down sidewalks and streets so they could turn the event into “an untitled reality TV project.” Insanely, the neighbors agreed. Could a wedding be any more ridic’? Well, unfortunately for mankind, yes. Keep reading »
This weekend, I was talking to a doctor friend of mine who calmed all of my fears about swine flu. Then I read: “90 people get the swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom.”So true. The fact of the matter is, there are a lot of way, way, way more dangerous and scary things humans have to worry about that make the swine flu look like child’s play. AIDS/HIV, for one — plus: cancer, global warming, terrorists. After the jump, 10 more things that are way worse than swine flu.
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The just-married twosome return from their honeymoon in Mexico. [LAX, Los Angeles, 4/29/09] Keep reading »
Five months after eloping in Mexico—post-pitchers of margaritas, natch—Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of “The Hills” are making their marriage official in a ceremony in Pasadena on Saturday. [People] — As a present for the infamously douchey duo, let’s look back at the times they broke up. Keep reading »