Remember Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the hydra-headed beast that terrorized Lauren Conrad, Brody Jenner and America during the mid-oughts via their appearances on “The Hills” and “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here”? Well, guess what? Despite going broke after spending all their money on crystals, plastic surgery and pre-Mayan Apocalypse tomfoolery (really), these two jackals are back. With guns. The now-bankrupt pair say that they keep guns in their California home in order to protect themselves from crazy fans that may break in. Which, HAHA, Speidi fans. The pair were recently featured in a UK documentary, appropriately titled “Speidi: Scandal, Secrets And Surgery,” where they bragged about their well-stocked gun room.
“I didn’t feel safe especially with crazed fans and stalkers out there but if somebody broke into our home, this is the only thing that could actually save my life,” said Heidi, while Spencer boasted that though England was an “amazing country,” his gun arsenal was proof of “the amazing laws in America.”
The pair are set to appear on a second season of the UK’s “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here,” because the British have apparently not reached their Speidi quota. Okay, what’s going on over in England? [Daily Mail UK]
“We made and spent at least 10 million dollars. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits. Here’s some advice, definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming. The world didn’t end. I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.”
– Sometimes I go multiple days — even weeks — forgetting that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ever existed. And then a quote like this — from Spencer, speaking on behalf of himself and his wife — comes along to remind me, and I both rejoice in the knowledge that such ridiculous people exist to entertain me, and weep that they got paid such astronomical amounts of money to do so. First of all, I’m slightly suspicious that this whole “wah, wah, we spent our money because we thought the world was ending, now we’re broke” story is just another ploy for attention. The thing is, they really are broke, so no matter the reason, they did manage to blow through a crapload of money in a very, very short time. What I don’t get is, why do you need to spend all the money before the asteroid hits? I mean, wouldn’t the cash have just burned along with humanity? I just don’t get the sense that they were spending money wildly and enjoying themselves; it’s like they thought any money left over would, like, bit them in the afterlife. Regardless, I never expected Spencer and Heidi to be so charitable. I would really like to hear from one of the people who was gifted a car. Maybe “Access Hollywood” could track down one of these lucky valets now rolling in “hundred pounds” of tips? Anything to make this story, just like the world, never end. [Videogum] [Photo: Bauer-Griffin]
“At that point, we were pulling our last cards. We felt the hot-air balloon losing its gas. And at that stage, our income would be selling the photo that would go along with the divorce. … What we learned is: You can be too famous … We were all getting paid to be people we weren’t for so long that you stop—there’s no line. The gauge is gone. The gray area is gone … What real job—what political world—would want Spencer Pratt, with the stigma I’ve attached to my name?”
—Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag talk to The Daily Beast about life now that their 15 minutes of fame have fully elapsed. In the piece, Spencer fully admits that he and Heidi made themselves into villains on “The Hills” and that they faked their breakup just to get a little press. And yet, he seems to have some remorse about the whole thing. Which makes me almost feel sorry for him.
Until I read the quote after the jump. Keep reading »
If only Mother Nature would intervene and cause these two to be swept out to sea. [Los Angeles, 9/22/10] Keep reading »
“As part of my spiritual cleansing I’ve spent the last week living alone in the [Costa Rican] jungle, reflecting on my past transgressions, and working to become a better person. I had to live off the land, and hunt to survive. As I departed the country this morning to continue my spiritual journey, I mistakenly brought my hunting weapons to the airport. It was an honest mistake … Costa Rican jail smells like children’s tears. And soup. Delicious soup. Thanks to jail, I finally have something in common with Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and that Lohan chick!”
—Spencer Pratt tells TMZ and his Twitter followers that he was jailed for weapons possession in Costa Rica. We’re sure Gandhi and Mandela are happy to be in such esteemed company. Also, Spencer was apparently in Costa Rica to try to win back Heidi Montag, who is there finding a new plastic surgeon. Make it stop. [TMZ]
Keep reading »
Just weeks after her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, was killed in a freak car accident and a month after filing for divorce from Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag is stepping forward to talk about how unhappy she is with her plastic surgery and how the extreme procedures ruined her marriage. Among some of the indignities she’s sharing—apparently Spencer had to pull her underwear and pants down in order for her to go to the bathroom.
“Spencer begged me not to get the first surgery and it almost broke up our relationship,” she said. Keep reading »
“I’m mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.”
– Heidi Montag is making it kind of hard for us to feel sorry for her when this is her primary concern about soon-to-be ex-husband Spencer Pratt selling and releasing her sex tape. Forehead-meet-palm. (Also, much like Taylor Momsen, we’ll stop talking about these two once they stop being so hilariously stupid.) [Just Jared] Keep reading »