I’ve been off and on various online dating sites for, oh, four years now. By far, the stupidest part of online dating is the utter futility of most of the things one could say about oneself and how unimportant they can be. For instance, I’m a brunette who loves to read and has a sweet tooth. Same goes for probably three million other single women. Even personality qualities — loyal and generous, demanding and impatient — don’t mean much until you’re in the thick of it with someone. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that most guys probably check out my photos to see if I’m hot, scan my profile to see if I sound crazy, and if I pass both checkpoints, they message me something like, “hey u whatz up babe.” (And then I delete them.) In other words, it probably doesn’t matter to the majority of men if I say I’m a brunette or my hair is highlighted, or any of a number of other things, so long as I’m not obviously a psycho troll.
But there’s one thing personality trait, if you will, that I’ve advertised because I really do think it is important and I do want men to know about it. And perhaps unsurprisingly, it attracts a fair amount of attention from guys: I tell them that I’m kinky. Keep reading »