So, “American Horror Story” came back last night for season two, “Asylum,” and I have A Lot Of Feelings about it. (SPOILERS, obviously): Queen Jessica Lange was divine, of course, and I loved the lesbian and interracial marriage subplots. But while the first season was creepy and even messed with you psychologically at times, this first episode just made me squirm. All the medical experiments and sadism made me feel like was watching torture porn and the “Hostel” enterprise has never been my idea of good horror. And I straight up wasn’t feeling the alien abduction stuff on top of all that. You don’t need to put icing on a macaron, Ryan Murphy.
One thing I think we can all agree on, however, is that Sister Jude is a terrifying bitch and watching her sadistically decimate Sister Mary Eunice’s self-worth is cringe inducing. The most insane moment in last night’s episode was when Sister Mary Eunice is in trubs for letting the snoopy reporter into the asylum, so she lays herself prostrate across Sister Jude’s to be caned. The teddy bear in me was, like, “No, Mary Eunice, run away from the asylum! Go live with the nice lesbians!” … but the pervert in me was, like, “Nun spanking! HOT!”
I have a dirty mind. Don’t tell Sister Jude.
A mother in Texas is livid: not that her 15-year-old daughter was paddled at school for cheating on a test — both mom and daughter actually approved the punishment — but that she was spanked by a male vice principal.
Taylor Santos, 15, a sophomore at Springtown High School Texas, allegedly let another student copy her work and was given a two-days of in-school suspension. After one day of missing classes, Santos asked if she could get a paddling instead of missing a second day; she called her mother and got approval for the change.
But her mother, Anna Jorgensen, is now super-pissed. A male vice principal spanked Taylor Santos instead of a female administrator — although there was a female in the room the whole time. “I knew school policy was females swatted females, and males swatted males,” Jorgensen said. “If Taylor wanted that, I said I would be fine.” She’s now upset that her daughter’s bottom has “welts and bruises.” Keep reading »
“Call me in one hour and tell me your boyfriend dumped you,” I told my girl friend as we stood outside the movie theater where we had just seen “Magic Mike.” “If the party’s weird and I want to leave, I’ll say ‘Oh my God, are you okay? I’ll come meet you!’ Got it?”
“Sure thing,” my friend promised.
“I’m texting you the address I’m going to right now,” I told her, tapping on my iPhone. “Just in case these people turn out to be rapist-murderers.”
“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” she soothed me. We hugged goodbye and parted at a street corner. “Have fun!” is what she called as I walked away.
Have fun at your spanking party is what she meant. Keep reading »
Meet SHIRI, the Japanese butt robot. She’s legless and headless, but seems to enjoy a sensual massage to the silicon skin covering her posterior. Like a human woman, her artificial muscles can react to being spanked, caressed and groped. As this video helpfully notes, “The user may also feel SHIRI bracing after feeling a slap from the user.” I guess she hasn’t yet read 50 Shades Of Grey yet? [Laughing Squid] Keep reading »
One NYC-branch of sex shop Toys In Babeland is (wisely) capitalizing on the new “mommy porn” 50 Shades Of Grey craze with cocktail party classes teaching Kinky Sex 101. The open-to-the-public classes will be free; the first 25 kinkster guests will go home with a Christian Grey-approved goody bag: a paddle, necktie, satin bondage kit, edible spanking powder (?!), and vibrating nipple clamps. (Yes, really.) Private classes are being held for more exclusive folks; the NYC-based blog Gothamist seems to think Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are attending. Oh, be still, my heart.
It’s silly that Toys In Babeland have to call this a “50 Shades” class instead of what it is — bondage/dominance/sadomasochism, or BDSM — but I guess too many people think a little kink in the bedroom is freaky. But whatever. I’ve already RSVPed and enlisted two girlfriends to come with. [Gothamist]
Bondage/dominance/sadomasochism (BDSM) erotica novel Fifty Shades Of Grey has swept the nation, landing itself on many a Kindle and launching a feeding frenzy for the movie rights. More digital ink has been spilled on What Does This All Mean? for women and our sexual desires than will ever be spilled on the people killed by a tornado in Oklahoma this weekend.
So naturally, Newsweek/The Daily Beast hired Katie Roiphe, who both loathes contemporary feminism and does not understand BDSM in the slightest, to write about it. Keep reading »
Keira Knightly believes that English people are obsessed with spanking and she is no exception. Keira played Sabina Spielrein who has a relationship with her therapist Carl Jung in “A Dangerous Method” and in one scene she had to be spanked on her butt by her co-star Michael Fassbender, who portrayed Jung.
Keira claims she was barely asked about the erotic scenes when promoting the film – which also stars Viggo Mortensen as Sigmund Freud – in any country other than her British homeland, which has led her to deduce her countrymen are fetishists. Keira admitted that she and Michael only got through the spanking scenes by turning to booze. Read more…
A mother appeared before the Texas Medical Board last week to complain about an ER doctor at Huguley Memorial Medical Center who treated her five-year-old boy for a finger infection and wrote a prescription for her to “apply large paddle to bottom of child anytime he needs it.” What’s even more WTF about this story? The physician, Dr. Carl W. Gossett, who is white, asked the child’s race first. When she informed him her son was biracial, the doc asked, “How does your family feel about that?”, meaning, you know, teh interracial sex. Keep reading »