Couples who engage in kink in the bedroom are happier and more secure in their relationships, according to a study cited in the October issue of Cosmopolitan. Girl, you don’t have to tell me this! BDSM sex, when it is safe, sane and consensual, is pretty amazing for all partners.
But hold up for a second. This article was in … Cosmo?! Yes, really, it was. Cosmopolitan has a well-deserved and iconic place in pop culture history as a place for women to read sex tips, but definitely is not known as the forefront of kink.
Even if the magazine didn’t talk about safe words or the difference between kink and abuse, I appreciate they are trying to include more types of alternative sexuality in their almost-always vanilla and heteronormative sex tips. So I took a look at Cosmo‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” article with a critical eye. Here are my bonafide kinky assessments on their recommended moves: Keep reading »
Yes, with your phone. Because who doesn’t want to explain to the gal at the Android store that you cracked your screen whacking someone on the ass so you could measure the intensity of a spanking? A $1 app called Spanking Meter— which “doesn’t support violence against mobile phones, tablets or women,” mind you — features three modes to measure a spank: one smack (the free version) or more smacks and birthday spanking. Sensors on your gadget then measure the intensity of your spanking on a scale and saves the high scores in your phone. Of course, you’re not really incentivized to spank too hard because then you’d crack the screen. (And the app’s creators are not responsible for that, either.) The kicker is that Google claims the Spanking Meter app is a “high maturity” level. But I beg to differ on that point. [Play.Google.com]
“What do you feel about going topless?” he asked me over the phone. I hesitantly replied, “Well, I guess I’m okay with it. But will they be able to touch my boobs?” There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line. “Yes, but you’ll never have to do anything more. I promise.”
A few days earlier, I’d been scanning Craigslist for part-time gigs and came across an ad that seemed too good to be true: “Beautiful college girls sought for nightclub modeling. Receive up to $1000/night. Email pics.” I answered and said that I was a 21-year-old student and attached some cheesy iPhoto shots.
It was January of my senior year of college in New York, and I was completely and utterly broke. I had been doing freelance work to keep me afloat, but things started to go downhill in December, when I only made $600 for the entire month — not even enough to cover my rent. On a cold night I huddled in the school’s library, answered every student job posting I could find and scanned Craigslist. Five minutes after answering the nightclub post, I received a response from a guy named Bob. He wanted me to call him. I ducked outside and dialed the number he sent me. Keep reading »
The New York Times Style section has gotten the memo: 50 Shades Of Grey is a book the ladies be readin’. Cue interviews with various and sundry New Yorkers who are involved in the kink scene, from sexual submissives to fire players. Actually, this article was written by a friend of mine named Matt and even if he wasn’t my bud, I’d still think this article about issues pertaining to kinky sex was a job well done.
Take note, other journalists who write about sex! Here’s six ways the New York Times actually got it right on kinky sex (or, as much as they could in one article): Keep reading »
We all know from Cupid and Hallmark and Victoria’s Secret that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the sexiest, sultriest, panty-droppingest day in existence.
We also know that’s not actually going to happen.
But you can try, can’t you? Your partner probably isn’t going to turn into Christian/Christina Grey for the night. But that doesn’t mean you can’t introduce a sex toy or three to spice things up. Here’s nine toys we think you might enjoy for a little something-something extra this Valentine’s Day. Let us know how it goes … if you’re willing to kiss and tell.
“I have a shopping fetish!”
“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”
“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”
You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a week your entire life. These sorts of comments drive me bonkers, because those people are not really referring to fetishes.
Instead, they’re misusing the word “fetish” to describe anything they really like, instead of something that sexually turns them on. I imagine it might be the same way gay folks would feel when a straight-person says to their same-sex friend “I’m gay for you,” when really they just mean their friend is a good buddy.
This is a subject we could all stand to know more about. Obviously I am not a psychologist or a medical expert of any kind; I’m just a woman with a spanking fetish who is researching official information on the subject on Google and including my own experiences and tips. I highly recommend visiting a sex-positive therapist, specifically a sex therapist, for a professional consult and to sort this stuff out if you or a loved one have a fetish or paraphilia.
But for a basic 101 on fetishes and paraphilia, here are some commonly asked questions and answers:
Keep reading »
The New York Times Style section usually emits more groans from me than cheers. Remember that piece about how bangs are “in”? And how women wear dresses? So I was ecstatic this week to see the Modern Love essay is by Jillian Keenan, a woman with a spanking fetish who is struggling to come out about it to her boyfriend. The essay touched on the struggles female spankos face from a judgmental and/or misunderstanding public, namely that we all must have suffered sexual abuse (not true) or must be gravely damaged in some way (also not true). And I was particularly delighted that 50 Shades Of Grey got only a brief mention. Keep reading »
So, “American Horror Story” came back last night for season two, “Asylum,” and I have A Lot Of Feelings about it. (SPOILERS, obviously): Queen Jessica Lange was divine, of course, and I loved the lesbian and interracial marriage subplots. But while the first season was creepy and even messed with you psychologically at times, this first episode just made me squirm. All the medical experiments and sadism made me feel like was watching torture porn and the “Hostel” enterprise has never been my idea of good horror. And I straight up wasn’t feeling the alien abduction stuff on top of all that. You don’t need to put icing on a macaron, Ryan Murphy.
One thing I think we can all agree on, however, is that Sister Jude is a terrifying bitch and watching her sadistically decimate Sister Mary Eunice’s self-worth is cringe inducing. The most insane moment in last night’s episode was when Sister Mary Eunice is in trubs for letting the snoopy reporter into the asylum, so she lays herself prostrate across Sister Jude’s to be caned. The teddy bear in me was, like, “No, Mary Eunice, run away from the asylum! Go live with the nice lesbians!” … but the pervert in me was, like, “Nun spanking! HOT!”
I have a dirty mind. Don’t tell Sister Jude.
A mother in Texas is livid: not that her 15-year-old daughter was paddled at school for cheating on a test — both mom and daughter actually approved the punishment — but that she was spanked by a male vice principal.
Taylor Santos, 15, a sophomore at Springtown High School Texas, allegedly let another student copy her work and was given a two-days of in-school suspension. After one day of missing classes, Santos asked if she could get a paddling instead of missing a second day; she called her mother and got approval for the change.
But her mother, Anna Jorgensen, is now super-pissed. A male vice principal spanked Taylor Santos instead of a female administrator — although there was a female in the room the whole time. “I knew school policy was females swatted females, and males swatted males,” Jorgensen said. “If Taylor wanted that, I said I would be fine.” She’s now upset that her daughter’s bottom has “welts and bruises.” Keep reading »