These days, I may be the queen of TMI, but I wasn’t always so comfortable talking about sex, let alone asking for what I wanted in bed. In the last few years, I’ve been a lot more openminded and in the process learned which kinky activities get me off — but asking for them? Sometimes I still get tongue-tied. And I know I’m not alone. Lots of guys have told me they’d like for their female partners to give them a little more direction in bed, while I know some women who have confessed to being shy about giving it. So, how can guys encourage their female partners to be vocal about their desires in a way that’s not pressuring? Let’s start with a few basic, often wanted but not always requested, sexytime activities…
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Right now, child protection laws in Kansas only allow spankings that don’t leave marks. Democratic State Rep Gail Finney has proposed a bill that would legalize 10 types of hand spankings and smacks to use while punishing your child. Parents can also give permission to others to spank their children. Read more on The Stir…
It’s tricky to find out how many people are doing it, but you don’t have to look further than pop culture to see we’ve got spanks on the brain: paddlings make appearances everywhere from old episodes of “I Love Lucy,” to the 2004 flick “Along Came Polly,” to Broadway’s hit show “Spring Awakening.”
The posterior is full of its own nerves, and the bum is also located near the body’s sensory hot spots—a man’s scrotum and a woman’s vulva. A naughty maneuver like spanking is a great way to send ripples through the skin and stimulate that entire area, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright says. Read more on Your Tango…
Couples who engage in kink in the bedroom are happier and more secure in their relationships, according to a study cited in the October issue of Cosmopolitan. Girl, you don’t have to tell me this! BDSM sex, when it is safe, sane and consensual, is pretty amazing for all partners.
But hold up for a second. This article was in … Cosmo?! Yes, really, it was. Cosmopolitan has a well-deserved and iconic place in pop culture history as a place for women to read sex tips, but definitely is not known as the forefront of kink.
Even if the magazine didn’t talk about safe words or the difference between kink and abuse, I appreciate they are trying to include more types of alternative sexuality in their almost-always vanilla and heteronormative sex tips. So I took a look at Cosmo‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” article with a critical eye. Here are my bonafide kinky assessments on their recommended moves: Keep reading »
Yes, with your phone. Because who doesn’t want to explain to the gal at the Android store that you cracked your screen whacking someone on the ass so you could measure the intensity of a spanking? A $1 app called Spanking Meter— which “doesn’t support violence against mobile phones, tablets or women,” mind you — features three modes to measure a spank: one smack (the free version) or more smacks and birthday spanking. Sensors on your gadget then measure the intensity of your spanking on a scale and saves the high scores in your phone. Of course, you’re not really incentivized to spank too hard because then you’d crack the screen. (And the app’s creators are not responsible for that, either.) The kicker is that Google claims the Spanking Meter app is a “high maturity” level. But I beg to differ on that point. [Play.Google.com]
“What do you feel about going topless?” he asked me over the phone. I hesitantly replied, “Well, I guess I’m okay with it. But will they be able to touch my boobs?” There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line. “Yes, but you’ll never have to do anything more. I promise.”
A few days earlier, I’d been scanning Craigslist for part-time gigs and came across an ad that seemed too good to be true: “Beautiful college girls sought for nightclub modeling. Receive up to $1000/night. Email pics.” I answered and said that I was a 21-year-old student and attached some cheesy iPhoto shots.
It was January of my senior year of college in New York, and I was completely and utterly broke. I had been doing freelance work to keep me afloat, but things started to go downhill in December, when I only made $600 for the entire month — not even enough to cover my rent. On a cold night I huddled in the school’s library, answered every student job posting I could find and scanned Craigslist. Five minutes after answering the nightclub post, I received a response from a guy named Bob. He wanted me to call him. I ducked outside and dialed the number he sent me. Keep reading »
The New York Times Style section has gotten the memo: 50 Shades Of Grey is a book the ladies be readin’. Cue interviews with various and sundry New Yorkers who are involved in the kink scene, from sexual submissives to fire players. Actually, this article was written by a friend of mine named Matt and even if he wasn’t my bud, I’d still think this article about issues pertaining to kinky sex was a job well done.
Take note, other journalists who write about sex! Here’s six ways the New York Times actually got it right on kinky sex (or, as much as they could in one article): Keep reading »
We all know from Cupid and Hallmark and Victoria’s Secret that Valentine’s Day is supposed to be the sexiest, sultriest, panty-droppingest day in existence.
We also know that’s not actually going to happen.
But you can try, can’t you? Your partner probably isn’t going to turn into Christian/Christina Grey for the night. But that doesn’t mean you can’t introduce a sex toy or three to spice things up. Here’s nine toys we think you might enjoy for a little something-something extra this Valentine’s Day. Let us know how it goes … if you’re willing to kiss and tell.
“I have a shopping fetish!”
“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”
“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”
You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a week your entire life. These sorts of comments drive me bonkers, because those people are not really referring to fetishes.
Instead, they’re misusing the word “fetish” to describe anything they really like, instead of something that sexually turns them on. I imagine it might be the same way gay folks would feel when a straight-person says to their same-sex friend “I’m gay for you,” when really they just mean their friend is a good buddy.
This is a subject we could all stand to know more about. Obviously I am not a psychologist or a medical expert of any kind; I’m just a woman with a spanking fetish who is researching official information on the subject on Google and including my own experiences and tips. I highly recommend visiting a sex-positive therapist, specifically a sex therapist, for a professional consult and to sort this stuff out if you or a loved one have a fetish or paraphilia.
But for a basic 101 on fetishes and paraphilia, here are some commonly asked questions and answers:
Keep reading »