The unexpected side effect of running into an old friend from college on the subway and falling deeply in love with Him, for me, has been a renewed interest in my past. I can’t tell you definitively why this is. Maybe it’s because I knew Him in college, and re-meeting Him after 16 years gave me a new lens through which to view my past self and understand her better.
My hunger to reconnect with my past self started with the hint of a memory of a photograph of the two of us from college. In my mind’s eye, I see it: Me and Him sitting next to each other in his dark, dorm room, both of us dressed all in black as we did at the time. Me: black dress, black fishnets, black leather jacket and heavy, black eyeliner. Him: oversized black pants, a black baseball cap, black hoodie. His arm around me. Sitting on top of his extra long twin bunk bed. Top bunk.
I’ve convinced myself that this photo exists. Keep reading »
It’s hard to use the term “soul mate” without feeling like you should be wearing a cape and meditating over a crystal. We’ve considered the concept extensively — both independently and together over Gchat — and we are of the same mind on the matter: Not only do soul mates exist but all of us have more than one soul mate out there. And to quote “Annie” (kind of), “A life without soul mates is like a night without stars” — a very dark night. But don’t think because you are single that you’ve been left out of the soul mate phenomenon. It’s limiting to think that merging with your other half must be romantic in nature. Soul mates can be lovers, friends, family members or even pets. While the universe might help us out in our quest to find them, it’s up to us to make sure we connect with them. Soul mate relationships seem so meant to be that it’s hard to imagine ever not knowing that person once you do. But just to be safe, below are some tips for making sure your soul mates in life don’t pass you by. Keep reading »
There is a certain brand of love advice that makes me cringe as a single woman, “Follow your intuition.” Which is why a piece in the Daily Mail, featuring excerpts from Joanna Scott’s book The Love Key: How To Unlock Your Secret Powers And Find True Love, made me want to bang my head against a wall. More on the magical powers you can unlock after the jump. Keep reading »
In the latest issue of Glamour, there’s this really interesting feature called “How I Knew” which features short little essays by men on “how they knew” certain things: “How I Knew I Really Would Marry Her,” “How I Knew I Was Going To Cheat,” etc. My favorite of the bunch was “How I Knew She Wasn’t The One,” in which writer Adam Sternbergh rather humorously describes how he knew various women weren’t “the one” until he finally did meet the one who was. Now, I’m not really a big believer in “the one,” so to speak, as I think we all have lots of of ones, but I am a big believer that we have even more people in our lives who were NOT the one and we can usually pinpoint one particular moment when that became clear. So, in the vein of Sternbergh’s essay for Glamour, here’s my own “How I Knew He Wasn’t The One.”
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Awhile ago, I went to one of those psychic-type people. I don’t think she called herself that, but you get the point. Anyway, she said something that has stuck in my head ever since. I think I made a passing reference to finding “The One,” and she made a face.
“There’s no such thing as ‘The One,’” she explained. “There is only the one who is ‘The One’ right now.”
And, you know what? I think she was right. Keep reading »
I’m sitting alone in my apartment on a rainy night. I’m restless, mildly bored, and, yes, I’ll admit it, but please don’t tell anyone … lonely. It’s days like this that I’m sure that there’s no more love in store for me — all of the epically momentous possibilities must have already passed me by. Somehow I blinked and missed them. It’s in moments like this that I allow myself the small indulgence of thinking about Sebastian.
Our story had all of the makings of a great love story. Once upon a time we met one evening in a dark, crowded party. He told me I was beautiful. I was young enough for him to appear larger than life. We kissed on the sidewalk in the rain. I fell hard for him — hard like scrape-me-off-the-floor-with-a-spatula hard. But we were wrong for each other in every way. We were young, immature, and troubled. It ended tragically – Sebastian stood me up on a cold, snowy New Year’s Eve and the two of us never spoke again. I went on with my life. Keep reading »
I remember being a little girl and hearing my mother use the term “soul mates.”
“What is ‘soul mates’?” I asked.
“It’s beshert,” she said.
“It’s meant to be,” she explained. Keep reading »
When I told a friend that I was in break-up recovery, she didn’t hand me the name of her therapist, she lent me her “Sex and the City” Collector’s Gift Set. I had caught reruns of the show on the few nights I watched television outside of “60 Minutes” and “Frontline,” and while I loved the show for Samantha’s bawdy comments and Carrie’s commitment issues, every time I caught a rerun I learned the lesson that I needed. It became my modern-day version of the After-School Special, and I was hooked. So a month ago, between tears, I sat down with a glass of red Zinfandel, some dark chocolate, and started on all six seasons of its high-heeled wisdom. Keep reading »
Here are three things that made me tear up while watching Amy Winehouse’s performance and subsequent win for Record of the Year at this year’s Grammys.
1. Her raw, balls-to-the-wall rendition of her hit “Rehab”. DListed said she looked like she had the “recovering from heroin shakes”, but I thought she was powerful and amazing.
2. When she won her award, she looked dumbfounded as her entire band enveloped her in an celebratory embrace. Then she thanks her “mum and dad” who we all know have been doing their darndest to help Amy recover from her drug problems.
3. The shout-outs she gave to her incarcerated hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil. She says his name with such fury and passion!
That last point made me sort of start to see Amy and Blake as this cute couple, even though trouble seems to follow them (okay, so maybe they invite trouble along for the ride). They seem sort of like soul mates, albeit drug-addicted ones. Can’t they both get their act together and live happily ever after? Or am I being a lil’ Pollyanna? [DListed] Keep reading »