I just can’t emotionally or physically connect with a woman unless there is some kind of terrible music playing.

When it comes to love and romance, timing is everything. There is so little choice when it comes to the fickle demands of your heart. And it’s the same with the music that serves as the soundtrack of your life. The songs you fall in love with pick you, not the other way around. There’s a reason the mythical symbol of love is a creepy flying baby who capriciously shoots arrows at random people, coupling them up. He is a stupid, bitter man-baby eternally blighted with an infants diddle.

Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to be a singer or band’s muse? Some of the most recognizable songs ever are written about some of the most famous people ever—after the jump, the inside story behind eight great tunes, from “Sweet Caroline” to “Cry Me A River.” Some of them are not so nice…

True friends understand you best and offer a solution or just a strong shoulder when life is at its worst. And they’re usually the first to celebrate with you when life is wonderful. But unfortunately, most songs are about trials of the heart not friendship. So we put together a list of our favorite friendship songs. After reading through the lyrics, call up your best homegirl and let us know in the comments which songs remind you of her.

While I am on this “break” with the man friend (it remains unclear how long this break will last, FYI), I’ve sworn off certain movies, TV shows, and songs out of fear that they’ll make me depressed. A friend of mine went through a breakup recently and all she did was listen to Morrissey, but wallowing is not really my heartbreak style. I like avoidance and denial. Obviously, I can’t avoid these aspects of pop culture forever and will need to work them gradually back into my life, but for now, there will be no “General Hospital”, or Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend”, or Reese Witherspoon movies. See the rest of the list of Pop Culture No-No’s, after the jump.

We’ve been thinking about accidental insemination a lot lately because of this whole Sarah Palin/Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston situation. Honestly, we feel for Bristol and Levi because their little mistake is everyone in America’s business now, but they’re not the first couple to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. Here are five songs about the situation…

A three-year-old saved her pregnant mom’s life by calling 911 and giving the dispatcher details about her house and other landmarks all because her mom had made up a song called “911 green” that the toddler learned the week before. (The title comes from the fact that to call 911 on a cell phone, you have to press the three numbers and then the green button. From what I’ve found, the lyrics of the song are simply, “911 green, 911 green.” But there might be a remix coming out in the next month or so.) [AP]