“[My boyfriend]‘s definitely not a gorilla juicehead. But, you know, he’s a guido. … I would consider Regis a hot ape. A grown-up gorilla.”
—Surprise! Snooki‘s latest hookup on “Jersey Shore,” the one the guys busted in on her with in the smush room, is now her boyfriend. She tells Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa about him, and throws Regis some love at the same time. Let’s just hope we don’t see Regis get progressively tanner over the next few weeks. [TV Squad] Keep reading »
Here’s an illustrated clip from the new literary work Snooki in Wonderland. I think I know what happens next. Snooki drinks the potion and gets arrested for public drunkenness. This one’s gonna be a page turner. Get your copy here for only 99 cents. [Snooki in Wonderland] Keep reading »
“I kind of wish me and Vinny didn’t try and have sex, because it was just drama this whole season. And I don’t know, it was just awkward between us and then I felt stupid because … you’ll see, it’s just embarrassing.”
—Snooki tells “The Morning Mash Up” that she wishes she hadn’t hooked up with her guidotastic “Jersey Shore” roommate. Don’t be embarrassed, Snooki. Friendships with benefits are seriously confusing. In better news, Snooki says things are going great with her new dude, Jionni LaValle. I feel good about it too since he hasn’t tried to milk her for all the fame she’s worth. [People] Keep reading »
I should probably find this video of Snooki giving an 11-year-old a makeover in her likeness — heavily applied bronzer, poof, and all — really offensive. She’s a kid! She doesn’t need to look like a Jersey guidette with alcohol running through her veins! But I don’t know, I found this makeover kind of adorable and silly and funny. I mean, Snooki is a cartoon character. Like Dora the Explorer. What’s the harm in that? Keep reading »
I caught the tail end of Matt Lauer’s interview with Snooki
on “The Today Show” this morning and cringed as he sort of scolded her for being such a drunk. (She swears she’s just a wastoid during the summer.) But I apparently missed the best part of the interview, when Snooki taught Matt what a “weenis” was. Now, before you watch the video, let’s see if you can guess the definition:
- A contraption a woman can use to pee in public without exposing her backside.
- The wrinkly bit of skin on your elbow.
- Snooki’s male alter ego — full name, Weenis Sambucco.
For the record, I was clueless as to the definition of the word “weenis” and I never thought I would learn something new — except maybe dance moves — from Snooki. Keep reading »
Last night was the season premiere of the third season of “Jersey Shore,” and people, it did not disappoint. The first night, new cast member Deena got naked in front of The Situation, JWoww and Sammi got in a physical fight, and I learned at least five new words for “vagina.” But the most heartwarming moment came when a drunk Snooki tried to hook up with Vinny, who she had sex with in Miami, and he graciously declined, showing more emotional maturity than any man I’ve met in the last 12 months. Keep reading »
Put aside the latest Jonathan Franzen! Set down that copy of War & Peace that you’ve been trying to get through for the last five years. A real work of literary genius is about to hit bookshelves — Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’s A Shore Thing is out this week! The New York Post scored a copy of the “Jersey Shore” guidette’s debut novel and leaked some of the choicest quotes. So, what can we expect from the reality tv star turned author? Find out, after the jump … [NY Post] Keep reading »
I know I was devastated when I learned that Times Square put the kibosh on Snooki’s 2011 “hamster ball” drop stunt. Yes, MTV had planned to put her in some kind of pink, glittering ball and ring in the New Year by lowering her down into the center of the action. Apparently, the bitches in charge of Times Square’s New Year’s preparations deemed the entire hamster ball apparatus “too impractical.” Ya think? Well, MTV was not ready to give up on the Snooki-drop. “We love our Times Square home and while we’re disappointed there won’t be a Snooki ball drop there, she cannot be denied! So we’re taking a road trip to the place where it all began, Seaside Heights, and droppin’ it all there,” the network said in a statement released on Thursday afternoon. I guess 2011 is going to be a good year after all. Does this make Jersey Shore the new Times Square and Snooki the new Dick Clark? [NY Times] Keep reading »
Last summer we blogged the minute-by-minute excitement surrounding Snooki‘s indignifying arrest for public drunkenness on a Seaside Heights beach. As of January 6, season three of “Jersey Shore” will be on MTV and we can all watch this little meatball wobble around the boardwalk asking where the beach is and then face-plant in the sand. In this just-released trailer, we learn Ronnie gets a proctology exam (ew!) and Sammi starts some ish with Snooki’s friend Deena, and J-Woww, and Snooki, and Ronnie … Damn, this crap does not get any less entertaining! [MTV] Keep reading »