What the hell is going on here?! Regis Philbin is stripping for Snooki. And then he gives her a lapdance (although it’s not in the above clip).
Be warned, children, once you see it, it cannot be unseen.
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You’re a smart lady (or dude). You’re on the market for some self-tanner. Do you buy the typical Neutrogena stuff in the respectable bottle, sans glitter, sparkles or neon warnings? Or do you instead choose to coat your skin in a product endorsed and no doubt packaged with Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi in mind? I’m asking, because I’m trying to figure out what the target demo for Snooki’s new line of self-tanner might be. Precocious, belly-button-ringed 8-year-olds? Middle-aged moms clawing at their spent youth? Circus clowns and Midwestern grifters? Because for sure — give it six months — you’re going to find bottles and bottles of the stuff rotting away at dollar stores and discount centers, crusting over and near exploding from heat exposure. Right next to all the other Snooki-endorsed flip flops, sunglasses, and perfumes out there.
If you haven’t seen enough of Snooki losing her s**t as of late— or her cooca for that matter — now you can bring a little piece of the “Jersey Shore” home. Thankfully, we don’t mean by way the way of crabs, but rather MTV.com’s three new “Jersey Shore” talking pens that can be yours today for the (t)winning price of $17.99! The voices of Pauly D, Snooki and The Situation are finally at your beck and call. Feeling down? Grab Snooki’s pen to release her classic “Waaaah!” Having trouble expressing what matters to you in life? The Situation has got your back: “If you don’t go to the gym, you don’t look good. If you don’t tan, you’re pale. And if you don’t do laundry, you ain’t got no clothes!” And you know which pen to grab if the cabs are here. They are available for your immediate satisfaction at MTV.com and … Walgreens. [MTV.com] Keep reading »
Oh, Mike. You’re such a creep. On last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” Mike tries to teach Snooki a lesson (his choice of words) by spreading the rumor that he or his friend called Jionni to tattletale about their alleged hookup. It’s hard to say whether doing that, or letting Snooki think he did that, is the more douchey thing to do.
So, thanks to him, we learned a new Jerseylicious acronym: GTD or “Gym, Tan, Drama.” Though GTD could just as easily be “Gym, Tan, Domestic Violence,” because Snooki freaked the f**k out on Mike and chucked like 12 wine bottles at his head.
Now, what The Situation did to her was bad. Really bad. But for the love of gelato, that was insane. Snooki is like the new Ronnie, which is to say an emotionally-stunted caricature of an adult human being.
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