What the hell is going on here?! Regis Philbin is stripping for Snooki. And then he gives her a lapdance (although it’s not in the above clip).
Be warned, children, once you see it, it cannot be unseen.
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You’re a smart lady (or dude). You’re on the market for some self-tanner. Do you buy the typical Neutrogena stuff in the respectable bottle, sans glitter, sparkles or neon warnings? Or do you instead choose to coat your skin in a product endorsed and no doubt packaged with Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi in mind? I’m asking, because I’m trying to figure out what the target demo for Snooki’s new line of self-tanner might be. Precocious, belly-button-ringed 8-year-olds? Middle-aged moms clawing at their spent youth? Circus clowns and Midwestern grifters? Because for sure — give it six months — you’re going to find bottles and bottles of the stuff rotting away at dollar stores and discount centers, crusting over and near exploding from heat exposure. Right next to all the other Snooki-endorsed flip flops, sunglasses, and perfumes out there.
If you haven’t seen enough of Snooki losing her s**t as of late— or her cooca for that matter — now you can bring a little piece of the “Jersey Shore” home. Thankfully, we don’t mean by way the way of crabs, but rather MTV.com’s three new “Jersey Shore” talking pens that can be yours today for the (t)winning price of $17.99! The voices of Pauly D, Snooki and The Situation are finally at your beck and call. Feeling down? Grab Snooki’s pen to release her classic “Waaaah!” Having trouble expressing what matters to you in life? The Situation has got your back: “If you don’t go to the gym, you don’t look good. If you don’t tan, you’re pale. And if you don’t do laundry, you ain’t got no clothes!” And you know which pen to grab if the cabs are here. They are available for your immediate satisfaction at MTV.com and … Walgreens. [MTV.com] Keep reading »
Oh, Mike. You’re such a creep. On last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” Mike tries to teach Snooki a lesson (his choice of words) by spreading the rumor that he or his friend called Jionni to tattletale about their alleged hookup. It’s hard to say whether doing that, or letting Snooki think he did that, is the more douchey thing to do.
So, thanks to him, we learned a new Jerseylicious acronym: GTD or “Gym, Tan, Drama.” Though GTD could just as easily be “Gym, Tan, Domestic Violence,” because Snooki freaked the f**k out on Mike and chucked like 12 wine bottles at his head.
Now, what The Situation did to her was bad. Really bad. But for the love of gelato, that was insane. Snooki is like the new Ronnie, which is to say an emotionally-stunted caricature of an adult human being.
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Teen bride Courtney Stodden, who single-handedly keeps the frosted lipstick industry afloat, supposedly set up that beach romp photo shoot to prove to the world that her assets — i.e. her globe-like breasts — are real. But my eyes were immediately drawn to another area of her body — those abs. While I suppose there is a teeeeeeny tiny chance that six-pack is the result of going daily super sexy sensual crunching exercises, they look spray-tanned on to me. Give me a hose and I will prove it! And when I’m done with her, I’ll take down these 20 other celebrities who got a little overzealous with the spray tanner.
In last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” Snooki learned some harsh truths about life. Namely, if you pull your dress up and show everyone your vagina in the club, your boyfriend will be angry at you. It’s a lesson we all must learn sooner or later, I suppose.
After the jump, the good, the bad , and the WTF moments of last night’s episode. Keep reading »
What a hot mess. No, I’m not talking about last night’s “Jersey Shore” episode — I’m talking about Snooki. The gang took a weekend trip to Riccione; it’s a beach town that’s supposed to be the Seaside Heights of Italy, only it’s a million times classier. Most of the house wants to enjoy the beach and the beautiful weather. Snooki and Deena, though, plunged face-first into daytime drinking and exhibitionistic foolishness with such enthusiasm that they pissed off the other roommates before it was even dark out. I don’t blame them! Babysitting drunk meatballs is not how I’d want to spend my vacation, either.
I think I’m over Snooki. Like, over. Every irresponsible and crappy thing she does isn’t her fault and she doesn’t deserve. Talk about entitlement. She’s like a little orange Lindsay Lohan. Find out more about why I’m finished, after the jump: Keep reading »
Anderson Cooper is trying to be the next Oprah, or at least the new Ellen, with his talk show. For the first episode on Monday, he sat down for a tearful talk with Amy Winehouse’s family. But for the second, he went to get a spray tan with Snooki of “Jersey Shore.” “Oh my god, you’re pale,” says Snooki, upon seeing Anderson for the first time. “That’s scary. Don’t worry, this isn’t gonna hurt.”
“It might hurt my dignity,” responds Anderson. Keep reading »