“[My boyfriend]‘s definitely not a gorilla juicehead. But, you know, he’s a guido. … I would consider Regis a hot ape. A grown-up gorilla.”
—Surprise! Snooki‘s latest hookup on “Jersey Shore,” the one the guys busted in on her with in the smush room, is now her boyfriend. She tells Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa about him, and throws Regis some love at the same time. Let’s just hope we don’t see Regis get progressively tanner over the next few weeks. [TV Squad] Keep reading »
Here’s an illustrated clip from the new literary work Snooki in Wonderland. I think I know what happens next. Snooki drinks the potion and gets arrested for public drunkenness. This one’s gonna be a page turner. Get your copy here for only 99 cents. [Snooki in Wonderland] Keep reading »
“I kind of wish me and Vinny didn’t try and have sex, because it was just drama this whole season. And I don’t know, it was just awkward between us and then I felt stupid because … you’ll see, it’s just embarrassing.”
—Snooki tells “The Morning Mash Up” that she wishes she hadn’t hooked up with her guidotastic “Jersey Shore” roommate. Don’t be embarrassed, Snooki. Friendships with benefits are seriously confusing. In better news, Snooki says things are going great with her new dude, Jionni LaValle. I feel good about it too since he hasn’t tried to milk her for all the fame she’s worth. [People] Keep reading »
I should probably find this video of Snooki giving an 11-year-old a makeover in her likeness — heavily applied bronzer, poof, and all — really offensive. She’s a kid! She doesn’t need to look like a Jersey guidette with alcohol running through her veins! But I don’t know, I found this makeover kind of adorable and silly and funny. I mean, Snooki is a cartoon character. Like Dora the Explorer. What’s the harm in that? Keep reading »
I caught the tail end of Matt Lauer’s interview with Snooki
on “The Today Show” this morning and cringed as he sort of scolded her for being such a drunk. (She swears she’s just a wastoid during the summer.) But I apparently missed the best part of the interview, when Snooki taught Matt what a “weenis” was. Now, before you watch the video, let’s see if you can guess the definition:
- A contraption a woman can use to pee in public without exposing her backside.
- The wrinkly bit of skin on your elbow.
- Snooki’s male alter ego — full name, Weenis Sambucco.
For the record, I was clueless as to the definition of the word “weenis” and I never thought I would learn something new — except maybe dance moves — from Snooki. Keep reading »