Tag Archives: sneezing

An Open Letter To The Loud Sneezer In My “Office”

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Dear Loud Sneezer In My Office,

How are you? Good, I hope. I just wanted to bring something to your attention. Every time you sneeze, the air is momentarily sucked out of the office, and we are swallowed into your black hole of sound. Okay, so the “office” is a coffee shop and you and I just happen to use it every day as our home away from home; you’re doing whatever — a screenplay maybe? — while I’m plugging away on my freelance writing gigs. Or I’m trying to — but that SNEEZING! It’s so loud, my nervous system stops. I am startled to the point of duck and cover. When 99.9 percent of people in the world sneeze, I say “bless you” and move on with my life. But when you sneeze, I involuntarily shout out the word “NO!” Intellectually, I understand that you are performing a natural bodily function, but irrationally, I don’t understand. I say “NO!” because I am in shock. In shock that a human sneeze could be that loud. I’ve tried putting my headphones on, listening to Queen at top volume. I still hear you. Your bark sneezes cut through the noise like a sonic boom. There is only one solution, Loud Sneezer: You must lower the volume of your sneezes. (Or I must find another coffee shop/office to work, but really, I’d rather not. The scones here are good.) Keep reading »

Girl Literally Cannot Stop Sneezing!


File this one under “random afflictions I’m relieved I don’t have.” Poor little Lauren Johnson, 12, has been sneezing eight or nine times every minute for two weeks. According to Lemondrop, “Doctors think it might be intractable psychogenic sneezing, a very rare disorder with fewer than 40 documented cases in the world with no surefire method of treatment.” Her adorably polite younger brother is bound to lose his voice any second now from saying “bless you!” [Lemondrop] Keep reading »

Sneezing Fetishes, Say What?

Sometimes I think I’ve heard it all and then something like sneezing fetishes comes across my radar and I realize I haven’t heard ANYTHING. Obviously, there technically fetishes for everything (Soup fetishists! Foot fetishists! Puke fetishists!), which is why there are so many “-philias,” but I wasn’t aware that many of these fetishes actually had resources and an audience. So, take sneezing fetishists, who are turned on by the visual and auditory results of a sneeze. Hopefully these folks aren’t trolling the cold and flu aisle at Rite-Aid, because there’s the perfect outlet on YouTube, where there’s a channel devoted to videos of people sneezing. Subscribers to this channel are hardly future ear, nose, and throat doctors, and the appreciation for the quality and authenticity of a sneeze is fascinating. Take the description accompanying the video above: “Lacey is awesome with her latest video. Flared nostrils, false starts, soft tissues sneezes and that gorgeous ‘pre-sneeze face’ A BLONDE SNEEZE DREAM!” Wow. I’m curious how much sneeze fetishists might pay a gal to sneeze on command? [via Urlesque] Keep reading »

Bless You! Sexual Thoughts Can Cause Sneezing Attacks

Psychiatrists are a British hospital have come to the conclusion that for some people, sexual thoughts leading to fits of sneezing, while other people may be prone to sneezing after orgasm. So that explains why I couldn’t stop the incessant tickling in my nose while watching “Murder By Numbers” on TV today. [Newser.com] Keep reading »

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