Tag Archives: snakes

RIP Society: Woman Crashes Into Firehouse With Stolen Python Around Her Neck

Snake Massage
Worst Nightmare: 550 Lb. Snake Pile Massage
It could be relaxing, I guess? Read More »
No Snakes For Salma
Watch Salma Hayek completely lose her shit over a snake. Read More »
Snake Opens Door
snake opens door
Watch this snake open the door all by itself. EEEEEEK! Read More »
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It wasn’t enough for Sarah Espinosa of Albany, New York, to crash into a firehouse while driving drunk. No, she had to show off and do it with a python around her neck. A stolen python, that is. Last night, Espinosa crashed through the garage door of a firehouse  on Long Island and struck two firetrucks. Firefighters quickly scampered to the scene to find a “small ball python” around her neck. Before she drunkenly got behind the wheel of her car, this pillar of society had stolen the snake from a nearby Petco store. Espinosa got hit with a DUI, unlawful possession of marijuana, reckless driving, second-degree reckless endangerment, and petty larceny; the python was returned unharmed. [Newsday] [Image of a python via Shutterstock]

Worst Nightmare: 550 Lb. Snake Pile Massage

Worst Nightmare: 550 Lb. Snake Pile Massage

After spending the day wandering around a tourist-packed zoo, I can understand why you might be in need of a massage. So it’s cool that visitors to the Philippines Cebu City Zoo are entitled to a free massage as part of their entry fee. Too bad that massage is given by four giant — and deadly! — Burmese pythons.

NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. Keep reading »

Animal-Control Officer Hid 850 Snakes Worth $500,000 In His Home

An animal-control officer had hundreds of snakes, including two 6-foot Burmese pythons, at his home, where he ran an illegal side business selling them, authorities said Thursday.

There were 850 snakes worth half a million dollars in a detached garage at the Shirley home of Richard Parrinello, including the Burmese pythons, which are illegal in New York state, officials said. Read more at Huffington Post…

Snakes Are Opening Doors Now

No Snakes For Salma
Watch Salma Hayek completely lose her shit over a snake. Read More »
Be My Boyfriend
Guy who was keeping 53 king cobras in his car. Read More »
Baby Girl, Pet Python
This little girl has a pet python to play with. At least until he eats her. Read More »
snake opens door
Hide Your Kids

New thing to be afraid of: SNAKES KNOW HOW TO OPEN DOORS NOW. We’re not sure if this is a python or a boa constrictor, but we all agree we are having nightmares tonight. And going to the bathroom in pairs all afternoon. Carrying axes.

After the jump, watch Amelia’s not-at-all-over-the-top reaction on Vine to the news that snakes are taking over. Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Was Keeping 53 King Cobras In His Car

Be My BF: Turtleman
Why Julie loves the "Call of the Wildman" star. Read More »
Be my bf: free samples
This guy got arrested for overdoing it on free samples. Read More »
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He's been wearing this deer head for FOUR YEARS. Read More »

Dear Guy Who Was Arrested For Driving Around With 53 King Cobras In His Car,

No woman can resist a guy who lives a rock n’ roll lifestyle. In fact, I’ve previously written a love letter to a guy who was so obsessed with heavy metal that he was forced to quit his job and receive disability benefits. I thought that dude was hardcore, but daaaaaamn, your badass ways make him seem like a fluffy, cuddly kitten in comparison: you were recently arrested in Vietnam for driving around with 53 king cobras in your car. I’m terrified by this story. And also intrigued. Let’s grab a bite to eat and talk about your rock n’ roll lifestyle. We’ll take my car.

Xoxo,
Winona

[Huffington Post]

Connecticut Lawmaker Stripped Of Title Over Lewd “Snake” Comment To Teen Girl

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boss fires flirt
Iowa says a boss can fire an employee he or she deems attractive. Read More »
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Rep. Ernest Hewett of Connecticut, a Democrat, was caught on audiotape making a lewd sexual comment regarding a 17-year-old girl who testified to the state legislature about her internship. The unnamed girl. who interned at the Connecticut Science Center, said the experience helped her overcome her fear of snakes:

“I am usually a very shy person, and now I am more outgoing. I was able to teach those children about certain things like snakes that we have and the turtles that we have… I want to do something toward that, working with children when I get older.”

Rep. Hewitt was heard on audiotape replying:

“If you’re bashful I got a snake sitting under my desk here.”

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