Tag Archives: slut

What Women Mean When We Call Each Other “Sluts” And “Whores”

slut house bunny

It’s no secret that women use the words “slut” and “whore” to describe other women. Now, a new study of college-aged women sheds more light on just why young women use these slurs. You might be as surprised as I was to find out what’s really at play here: the slur is not meant to directly punish sexuality, but to delineate a broader social standing. And here’s the interesting part: depending on where a young woman landed within the school’s social hierarchy, she used the word “slut” differently to describe her peers.  Keep reading »

Flashback: Revisiting The Post “Why I Like Being Called A Slut In Bed”

Flashback: Revisiting The Post "Why I Like Being Called A Slut In Bed"

In one week, I’m celebrating a BIG birthday: 30! In acknowledgment of the fact that I’ve spent over half of my 20s working at The Frisky, I’m going to reach down deep into to archives and revisit some old posts. I’ll examine what I wrote at the time and how that has or hasn’t changed. If you have any suggestions of old posts you’d like me to revisit, tell me in the comments or shoot me an email at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. First up …

The Post: “Why I Like Being Called A Slut In Bed”

Publication Date: February 2, 2011 Keep reading »

An Open Letter To The Parents Of SlaneGirl, The Teen Who Gave Blowjobs At The Eminem Concert & Got Slutshamed Across The Internet

Who Is Slanegirl?
slanegirl eminem concert blowjob
She's an Irish teenager photographed giving blowjobs at a concert. Read More »
Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »
On Slutshaming
It's about controlling women through guilt and shame. Read More »

Dear The Parents Of SlaneGirl,

I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had this week about your daughter. You know her as a baby girl you brought into the world 17 years ago. The Internet knows her as SlaneSlut or SlaneGirl. This week, her full name and photographs of her performing oral sex on two different men at an Eminem concert made their way around the world. They were posted on every social media site you can think of and shared repeatedly (with little regard to the fact your daughter is under 18 and the images technically constitute child pornography). The two young fellas she fellated have mostly enjoyed high fives from the universe. But your daughter? She’s been called a slut, a whore, a dumb bitch — every stinging slur in the book. She was hospitalized this week from from her reaction to all this negative attention.

When I’ve been thinking about your daughter, I’ve really been thinking about you — her parents.  I’ve been thinking about what I would do or say if I were in your shoes, about you could possibly have to say to her about all this. Keep reading »

Lawsuit: 15-Year-Old Girl Kicked Out Of Summer Camp For Kissing Boy

Zut Alors, French Kissing!
french kissing
The French have finally invented a word for "French kissing." Read More »
On Slutshaming
It's about controlling women through guilt and shame. Read More »
No Slutty Friends
college women dont' want friends who are promiscuous
College-aged women don't want to be friends with "sluts," study says. Read More »

A family filed a lawsuit yesterday against Camp Emerson, in Hinsdale, Massachusetts, because their 15-year-old daughter was kicked out of summer camp for kissing a boy. The suit, which refers to the Westport, Connecticut, teenager as “Jane Doe,” said she met the boy on something called “court time” when girls and boys play basketball together and that male counselors “kindly and nurturingly encouraged and/or enticed” the boy to kiss Jane Doe. He did and then the pair “went behind the arts and crafts shed and kissed” some more.  She was also accused of taking off her bra and “acting inappropriately,” aka being a teenager with hormones making out with a boy.  While the boy got a high five afterwards from counselors, Jane Doe was allegedly called a “a slut and/or loose and/or fast and/or a tramp” by the camp director. Camp Emerson kicked both kids out and had her escorted off of camp property by a cop. Keep reading »

Study: College-Aged Women Don’t Want To Be Friends With Sluts

Numbers Don't Matter
How many partners she's had is irrelevant. Read More »
Are You A Slut?
You could ask Rush Limbaugh or you could consult this handy chart. Read More »
On Slutshaming
It's about controlling women through guilt and shame. Read More »
college women dont' want friends who are promiscuous

Oh good, another depressing study about women and sex! Bring it on.

College-aged women would prefer not to be friends with promiscuous women (defined as having 20 or more sexual partners by their early 20s), even when they themselves have had numerous sexual partners or claim to have liberal views about sex. This according to a study of 751 college students by Cornell University. Can you say “hypocrisy”? Keep reading »

Should Women Reclaim The Word “Slut”?

Are you a slut?

It’s a loaded question. What makes a woman a slut? Is the word simply defined as a woman who has casual sex? Does a woman have to have sex with a certain number of partners to be a slut? Does a slut have to be a woman at all?

Controversies about ‘sluttiness’ have been raging for years, and there’s no sign they’re slowing down anytime soon. A recent study found that women tend to reject the friendship of other women who are perceived as promiscuous. On the television show “Nashville,” Connie Britton’s character, Rayna James, recently worried that she was a slut just for “going to second base” with a guy. Amanda Knox, the American accused of a bizarre murder in Italy, was presumed guilty largely on the premise that she’s a slut, so of course she did it. Read more on Your Tango…

Pink Isn’t Afraid Of The Word “Slut”

Are You A Slut?
You could ask Rush Limbaugh or you could consult this handy chart. Read More »
Frisky Rant: Slut-Shaming
silver linings playbook
Frisky Rant: slut shaming doesn't have a silver lining. Read More »

“I’m a reformed slut. [Using the word] is my very unsophisticated way of taking the power back. I’ve always had an issue with, ‘OK, we’ve both decided to do this. Why am I a slut and you’re the player? You didn’t get anything from me that I didn’t get from you.’”

– Pink tells Glamour magazine why she proudly refers to herself as a slut (well, currently in the 7th year of her relationship with Cary Hart, she now calls herself a “reformed slut”). She goes on to mention one unexpected guy who made an appearance in her romantic past: NSYNC’s Joey Fatone! ”He took me to Friendly’s on a date and he bought me an ice cream. Such a sweetheart. He asked my dad’s permission!” This story is bringing me a ridiculous amount of joy. Rock on, Pink. [Us Weekly]

Dealbreaker: The Slut Shamer

Dealbreaker: Huge Penis
His penis was so big it made her cry. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Wallet
He forgot his wallet...on purpose. Read More »
Dealbreaker: The Mob
He was in The Mob. Read More »

I’ve never been fond of being called “nice.” Nice, to me, is a consolation-prize adjective; it’s a lazy descriptor you use for a person who isn’t interesting enough to rate a few more syllables. Nice is for potholders and admirable recycling habits, for neutral weather patterns and cuts of salmon. Even the slightly more enthusiastic, stoner-drawl version of the word, Niiiiiiice!, and its cousin, Sweeeeet! are usually reserved for cars, surfable waves, or extensions of deadlines. Or, you know, marijuana.

And yet, people generally tend to label me as nice and sweet, and I suppose, in my wussy way, I am.  It pains me to be rude to telemarketers. I always repost Facebook pictures of abandoned puppies. I do recycle responsibly – what of it?

So when, on our first date Joe*, a guy who I’d met at a bar, said I was a “nice girl,” it wasn’t immediately a dealbreaker. Nice is a cross I’ve borne for a long time, and if I ruled out every guy who called me it, I would be restricted to a dating pool comprised only of surly, rage-provoking DMV employees. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Taylor Swift Is Allowed To Have A Lot Of Boyfriends, OK?

Silver Lining's Slut Shame
silver linings playbook
Jennifer Lawrence's character gets slut-shamed in "Silver Lining's Playbook." Read More »
Chesca On Victim Blaming
franchesca ramsey rape
Jenna Marbles slut shames and Chescaleigh explains victim blaming. Read More »
On Slutshaming
It's about controlling women through guilt and shame. Read More »

A few years ago, a favorite subject of conversation in pop culture writing was about Taylor Swift’s perceived “slut shaming” in her songs. Need I remind you of the song “Better Than Revenge,” allegedly directed at the actress Camilla Belle for stealing away Joe Jonas, which includes lyrics like “she’s not what you think, she’s an actress / she’s better known for the things that she does on the mattress”?

Today, the favorite subject of conversation in pop culture writing about Taylor Swift is her long list of boyfriends. Can you name them with me? Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor LautnerJohn Mayer, Conor Kennedy, and most recently Harry Styles from One Direction. (Pardon me if I forgot anyone.)

My, how the fickle winds have changed. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: Slut Shaming Doesn’t Have A Silver Lining

2013 Oscar Noms
Who'll take home this year's most coveted awards? Read More »
On Slutshaming
It's about controlling women through guilt and shame. Read More »
Types Of Sluts
There's more than one, you know. Read More »

When I sat down to watch “Silver Linings Playbook,” I had high hopes. Friends whose opinions I respect loved the film and praise for her performance has made Jennifer Lawrence a front-runner for Best Actress in this year’s Oscar race. I’ve loved Lawrence since “Winter’s Bone” and I’m constantly amazed by her ability to play incredibly tough, independent, strong-willed protagonists.

But “Silver Linings Playbook” left me with an uneasy feeling, and it wasn’t because of the film’s flawed grasp of mental illness or its contrived and formulaic plot. It had everything to do with the treatment of Lawrence’s character. My first reaction to the film when it ended was: “What was with all the slut shaming?” [Spoilers after the jump!] Keep reading »

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