This story begins in a basement waiting room in Brooklyn. My boyfriend and I stare at our phones on a dirty looking love seat across from the reception desk. There’s no service, and cellphone games give me headaches, so I pick up an issue of Parenting magazine, even though I am not a parent and — thank god — this isn’t that kind of doctor’s visit. I’m not thirsty, but I drink a lot of water from the water cooler to occupy myself. It takes almost an hour before my name is called. The nurse is friendly, but she mumbles and I keep having to ask her to repeat herself. I am relieved when she asks me how much I weigh rather than making me step on the scale, but the anxiety rises again when she measures my blood pressure. The machine squeezes my arm and then releases it in slow puffs — panic, panic, panic.
Actually, this story begins on Christmas night. And the night before. And the night after. And all of the nights that I went to bed too early. This story begins with me apologizing. This story begins with my mother’s worried face. It begins with an unquenchable, inexplicable desire for sleep, which actually begins nine years ago when I was in 12th grade and became addicted to going to bed. Because that’s what this is really about. That’s the reason I am waiting in a cold doctor’s office, picking nervously at my nail polish, listening to the paper crinkle each time I move, and wanting very badly to pee.
I’m tired. I’m tired all the time. Keep reading »
Advice columns bring out the worst in journalism outlets, I have found, and Nerve.com is no exception. Today, the website asked readers to play “advice columnist” and dish out advice to a woman who had written asking what to do about her boyfriend who raped her while she was sleeping. She had taken a sleeping pill while drunk, after coming home alone, and was so deeply asleep she didn’t even hear her boyfriend come home that night. But when she woke up in the morning, she realized he had raped her during the night. “Did we have sex last night?” she asked him. “Well, one of us did,” the boyfriend said, laughing. The woman then wrote in to Nerve.com saying she no longer trusts him and asks for advice on what to do.
And Nerve, for some reason, chose to title this post, “Please Advice: My Boyfriend Had Sex With Me While I Was Asleep.” Uh, come again? “Had sex” wit hher? FACT: a person who is asleep — not to mention drunk and on a sleeping pill — cannot consent to sex. Her boyfriend didn’t “have sex” with her. Her boyfriend raped her. Keep reading »
Snoozing on your stomach may increase dreams about sex, says a new study. Hong Kong researchers surveyed 670 students, collecting data about sleep postures and dream content and found that stomach sleepers reported more erotic dreams than anyone else. They also described more feelings of “persecution,” “being tied up,” and “being locked up,” reports the Daily Mail. The reason for such reveries? Researchers think it might have something to do with the brain getting less oxygen, which results in the sensation of feeling constricted. Read more…
The snoring, the sheet-stealing, the random kicks: Sleeping with a partner may sound like bad news, but the Wall Street Journal reports that it might actually be good for your health. Writing for the Journal, Andrea Petersen notes that some recent studies’ findings “run counter” to previous ones indicating that women get better sleep when solo and both men and women move around more when slumbering as a duo. She points to a 2009 study that followed women for six to eight years and found that those who were in a long-term relationship during that time nodded off more quickly and woke up less frequently than their always- or sometimes-single counterparts. Read more…
Many a great sex life has been ruined by the cat block. Oh, the pernicious cat block! Cats: they are real bastards sometimes. [via Laughing Squid]
These are some sleepy and adorable kittens, aren’t they? Makes you just want to get in the middle of this cuddle puddle. [Buzzfeed]
You just enjoyed some great sexytime with a guy you’re really, really into. He isn’t hurriedly getting dressed and running out of the door while making embarrassed excuses. Instead, he is soundly asleep next to you, as quiet and comfortable as a baby. Perhaps he is even holding you in his arms. Does this mean that he will stick around in the long-run? Eh, actually, Michigan researchers believe that men may fall asleep after sex to avoid commitment talks, but don’t worry ladies — they’re only doing it for us! Keep reading »
Last night I did something I’ve never done before: I slept naked, alone, in my bed.
I usually sleep with my window open — there’s a screen, of course — so gusts of wind can circulate in my room. Last night, though, there was not a single gust of wind. It might have been 75 degrees outside at midnight and maybe 80 degrees in my stupid bedroom that doesn’t have air conditioning. I flipped and flopped and wondered how my pillows could possibly feel so warm. At last, I decided the only thing left to do would be to take my pajamas off — my “pajamas” being a summery romper that weighs, at most, three ounces.
Let me be clear about something: I never sleep naked, even if I’m sleeping alongside a dude and even if we just had sex. It feels so … bare to me. I have to wear underwear and pajamas — top and bottom preferably, unless it’s summer and I’m wearing something lighter — or else I can’t fall asleep.
As you can imagine, this has not been such a popular opinion with dudes. Keep reading »
I yawn, rest my head on my pillow, roll on my side and close my eyes. “Knee,” I say to my husband. He flutters his eyes open and grunts an “I’m sleeping” noise. “Your knee, my love, is jabbing into my back. Can you move it?” As he readjusts his position, he rests his arm on my feet — Oy, this is even more uncomfortable. I tap my feet against his bicep to get his attention. “Your arm,” I tell him. “It’s resting on my feet.”
“Where else can I put it?” he asks. Keep reading »