Bars exist to create a world of potential. Yet often, they are self-defeating because it’s not all that easy to meet new people in them, especially if you’re hopping with a pack of wingwomen (read: competition, intimidation).
A notion previously reserved for alcoholics, going to a bar alone can be about creating independence as well as a tactic for meeting strangers. Or, okay, maybe you just really want a drink and don’t want to look like a loser doing it. Keep reading »
Bad news for human females, as well as female voles (they’re rodents similar to mice): Swedish scientists have discovered that a man’s reluctance to commit might be in his genes. We’re not exactly sure how scientists figured out rodents don’t like to marry, but hey, whatever.
It’s called the “334 version of the AVPR1A gene” and it is more prevalent in men who didn’t want to pair up. The leader of the study said further research is required to find out how possible genetic mutations may affect women and the bonding hormone, oxytocin, which “seems to influence female pair-bonding more.” We guess this means if you’re chronically single, unforch, it might just be biology. [Times of London UK] Keep reading »
It’s no secret that people are getting married later these days than in previous generations, and in this culture of hook-ups and “modern female dating anxiety,” we’re at no loss for theories that explain why. Some people say today’s twentysomethings are delaying marriage to focus on careers and build close friendships instead, but another explanation paints a less flattering picture of young people: apparently, they’re all just a bunch of narcissists. In an article on The Daily Beast this week, writer Hannah Seligson, explores this theory, writing: “narcissism, even in small doses, has shifted courtship into a high-stakes relationship culture. Now that people think more highly of themselves, expectations of what a relationship should be like have skyrocketed into the realm of superlatives. Twentysomethings not only expect to waltz into high-level career positions right out of college, they also expect partners who have the moral fortitude of Nelson Mandela, the comedic timing of Stephen Colbert, the abs of Hugh Jackman, and the hair of Patrick Dempsey.” Keep reading »
In the last month or so, three of my close friends have gotten engaged. Meanwhile, I haven’t had a serious relationship for three years. For some reason, whenever I tell people that another one of my pals has a ring on her finger, they get a sad, sympathetic look on their face, like they’re afraid I might start crying or go into a deep depression. They shouldn’t be concerned, though, because I’m not the least bit jealous. Keep reading »
I’m getting married in a little over two months, and though this is a happy, exciting time in my life, there’s a bittersweetness. It started when I moved to New York a year and a half ago to be with my boyfriend. Up until then, our relationship had been long-distance; he was in Manhattan, and I was in Chicago. Through daily phone calls and frequent trips back and forth, we fell in love while still maintaining solo lives in our respective cities. It was a unique experience to be in a fully committed relationship, but continue living the same single-girl life I’d known since my last serious relationship (minus all the unsuccessful dating, of course). When I wasn’t in New York or hosting my boyfriend in Chicago, my weekends were filled cultivating other relationships — those with my closest friends. Life was filled with wine-drenched, late-night talks, long bike rides along the lake, picnics in the park, afternoon shopping frenzies, potlucks, brunches, and impromptu sleep-overs — all with my single friends. Now that I’m fully immersed in “coupled life,” I realize I’ll probably never have friendships like those again.
Keep reading »
Today, more women than ever are wildly ambitious and intellectually curious. According to Harvard Business School’s e-publication “Working Knowledge,” women now make up 35 to 40 percent of business school applicants; women also make up the majority in the undergraduate populations at more than one Ivy League college.
According to the BBC, the average woman’s workweek is now half a day longer than it was five years ago—sometimes with more work waiting to be done at home. The media has coined the term “alpha female” to describe these assertive, strong, successful women who are big on work.
But how do these hyper-ambitious alpha females navigate the dating land? Keep reading »
As a single person, it sometimes feels as if the world is partial to couples. Perhaps you’re like me—tired of checking that “single” box on your tax return while your married counterparts file jointly and gleefully claim dependents. You see a family buying in bulk at the supermarket and wish you could take such cost-saving measures without having to eat spaghetti every night for a month. Or you wonder what you’d do with the extra cash if your rent was suddenly halved.
Sure, families get tax breaks and cohabitaters have lower living expenses, but there are some financial upsides to being on your own, especially during an economic downturn. The truth is, with fewer responsibilities, singles are freer to take risks and find novel ways of coping with the stress of a Great Recession. Finally, the singletons have some advantages. Keep reading »
A “dating entrepreneur” from Australia has invented something he hopes will make it much easier for singles to approach one another. It’s called a “singles identification badge,” or, um, a button for short. The button costs $22.95, has the url of a dating site printed on it, and gets one access to online forums where people can organize meet-ups with others who share similar interests, kind of like that site called, you know, Meetup, which happens to be free. Evan Diacopolous, the 35-year-old behind the idea explains the button is like a “subtle and unobtrusive” sign that says, “’Hey I’m single, I’m looking for romance, don’t be afraid to come up and talk to me.” I used a similar sign pretty successfully when I was single — it was called “eye contact and a smile.”
Diacopolous hasn’t had many people sign buy the button and the service yet, but he has high hopes in that in “two or three years time, we’ll have a quarter of single people wearing the badge.” Yeah, good luck with that. [News.com.au] Keep reading »
In a recent column on the Huffington Post, “Why I’m Single,” writer Lea Lane lists all the reasons that she’s still single. Why? So she can send the URL to all the nosy, possibly well-meaning busy-bodies who keep asking her why she isn’t in a relationship.
Lane presents a persuasive case; it almost made me wish for the days I, too, had the whole bed to myself. She’s one of what I’ll call the “Happies,” women who are perfectly content with their single status. They don’t want for a companion; they love their solitude and have enough friends, hobbies, and passions to keep themselves busy. Although, most Happies, like Lane, are “open to options, and do understand the beauty and wonder — and blessing — of a good relationship,” they neither actively seek one nor passively hope and pray one comes their way. The Happies say they don’t need a relationship to be content, and, by God, they mean it. Keep reading »