This morning on my way into work, I hopped on Facebook to see what was happening in the world— and instantly, I regretted it.
The first thing I saw on my newsfeed was an album from a college friend’s bachelorette party. That’s nice, I thought, as I looked at the pictures of her all drunk and smiley. And then I remembered how she cheated (a couple of times) on her soon-to-be husband when we were seniors. She covered her tracks and her boyfriend never found out. Having been played by Patrick Bateman, my own feelings of anger began to surface as I scrolled through photo after photo of her in her pink veil. She was finally getting her happy ending, but in my eyes, her relationship was a sham. I continued to scroll down the page, in search of something that didn’t annoy me.
Surprise! An engagement. A high school girlfriend of mine was proposed to over the weekend in a pumpkin patch. How fall of her fiancé. Letters forming the question “Will you marry me?” were carved into lit-up pumpkins. I have to admit, it was very cute. She inset a photo of her engagement ring over a snapshot of the pumpkins to announce the news. I always found her to be a bit high-strung, but hey. She found someone who loves her enough to carve 15 jack o’ lanterns, so this means there’s still hope for me. I kept moving through my newsfeed. Keep reading »
Couples and singles often view each other with a mix of confusion, suspicion, and, sometimes, straight-up hostility. We all know, deep down, that someone’s relationship status doesn’t define them or instantly turn them into a cliche, but that sure doesn’t stop most of us from making some ridiculous generalizations — even if we’ve personally been on both sides of the coin. Are your married friends sublimely happy all the time just because they’re married? No way! Is your single friend really free to dog sit for you anytime because she has no life? Nope. We wanted to debunk some of these ridiculous misconceptions as a reminder that we’re all on the same team. Here are some of the most common misguided assumptions single people make about couples (and vice versa). Read on to see what assumptions you might be making… Keep reading »
Dating must be so much easier when you’re a ghost. No more worrying about what to wear (nothing!), who picks up the tab (you don’t eat!) or whether or not he’ll come back to your place (you don’t have one!). Your biggest concern when you’re a dead dater is what decade your date passed in and if he will get your cultural references. Or, I guess it could be problematic if he’s obsessed with reconnecting with his still-living soul mate like Patrick Swayze in “Ghost.” So sexy, but so unavailable.
GhostSingles.com is a new online dating site for dead people. It’s perfect for lonely ghosts who want to spice up their afterlife or those who want to find the the perfect entity to settle down and haunt the world with. Sadly, they don’t accept profiles from the undead, the living dead or mortals. So, you’re out of luck if you have a thing for ghosts. But if you’re unhappy about their inter-world dating policy, you can contact GhostSingles.com via gypsy, psychic, telephone (there’s no number, you’ll have to let it dial itself) or email. Hey, the dead love technology. In the meantime, check out the profiles of a couple of the site’s deceased singles. BRILLIANT. [Oddity Central] Keep reading »
If Z100 announces it’s “an emerging trend,” you know it’s time to run out and throw yourself a fake bachelorette party. At least that’s what single 20-something blogger Bonnie Gleicher and her group of girlfriends did. It’s unclear as to why fake bachelorette showers are suddenly a thing — why would anyone want to wear penis hats in public unless they absolutely HAD to? — but in Gleicher’s case, she and her friends chose to parade around NYC’s West Village in tiaras and garter belts, taking turns pretending to be the bide-to-be, to answer one question: How desirable is unavailable? The results of her social experiment were really interesting and also kind of sad. Keep reading »
In a world where everyone celebrates engagements, weddings, anniversaries and other relationship-centered milestones, the private lives of those who are not married or in a relationship are often pushed to the wayside. Not this time — it’s National Singles Week. Also known as Unmarried and Single Americans Week, this holiday was started in the 1980s by the Buckeye Singles Council in Ohio. It’s meant to commemorate single individuals and celebrate their contributions to society because, hey, we matter too!
In honor of National Singles Week, read on to discover important lessons and tips from singles to help you live your best single life. Read more at Your Tango…
“As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.” – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Helen Fielding
Right now, I am single by choice. I am focusing on other things besides dating — my career, my health, learning how to get through life without the support of a partner. I am settling into the idea of living alone after exiting a string of long-term relationships and one short-term situation that ended because I found myself with someone out of the panicky fear that unless I made this relationship work, I would die alone. We live in a time where great anxiety builds over which toppings to choose for your chopped salad. The glut of choice, which seems like it surrounds every decision, is amplified when applied to relationships. Right now, being alone feels like the simplest/hardest choice I can make. Keep reading »
There were many low points in my eight years (more or less) as a single person. One in particular was in December of 2010, right around my 32nd birthday. Funny that I can’t even remember why it was a low point. Probably because I had created some kind of timeline where I imagined that I should have been in a relationship by that point. To cope with all the hopelessness, bitterness, loneliness, panic, frustration and feelings of failure I was experiencing, I wrote an open letter to my single self. Although I didn’t believe it at the time, I gave myself the most awesome advice. To quote myself to myself (how meta), my main point was that I should be patient and do nothing:
“In waiting, you’ve grown impatient at times and have tried to force things that weren’t meant to be, fought too hard for something that you knew was wrong, held on too tight to something that was already dead and gone, or pushed people away out of fear. No more of that. The only thing left for you to do now is NOTHING … Love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will. Accept that it’s a mystery and sit down, shut up, enjoy your freaking life, and patiently wait your turn.”
Keep reading »
I was still trying to understand the impetus behind toilet dating, when I saw yet another shitty idea for the unattached: single wristbands. Seriously, is trying to embarrass single people trendy for fall? Rina Mardahl and Rob Young’s amazing relationship inspired them to create MY Single Band, colored, silicone wristbands that single people can wear to identify each other in public places. Kind of like those Live Strong bands but for the unlucky in love. If you didn’t catch it, the “MY” in MY Single Band is the first initial of both of their last names. CLEVER.
Even though these two just happened to get lucky and meet while they were on vacation (without the help colored bands to identify themselves, they’re very concerned that the rest of the single population might “miss out on meeting their soul mate by not saying the first hi.” Keep reading »
Maybe you’ve tried speed dating, hit up a niche online dating site that specializes in gluten free singles, and downloaded Tinder and Grouper without much luck. But sometimes you meet someone where you’d least expect it. Like, the bathroom. We always forget to cruise for dates in the bathroom. Keep reading »
All those coupled friends of yours, you’re genuinely happy that they’ve found someone whose morning breath makes them giddy. You’re thrilled that you’ll never have to field another late night phone call from them about how they are scared to choke on a ham sandwich and die alone like Mama Cass. Really, you’re glad they found ever-lasting love and left you alone to make a weekend of hand-washing your delicates.
The only issue: the second they fell in love, it’s like they got single amnesia and forgot what it felt like to eat peanut butter straight out of the jar for dinner on a Saturday night. Their memory of what it was like to be relegated to the pull-out couch at Christmas while your brother and his wife get to sleep in your bed was wiped out. They no longer recall what it was like to feel demoralized after going on 100 unsuccessful OK Cupid dates. And this is why they assume that you would like to bird sit for them for the next two weeks while they’re laying on the beach in Aruba. Because you have nothing better to do, right? Well, not really, but that doesn’t mean you want to deal with bird shit. And while you’re at it, here are some more things they shouldn’t assume you’d like to participate in just because you’re single. Keep reading »