Tag Archives: single

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

Life After Dating: Bitter, Party Of One

A few years ago, I had a Big, Terrible Breakup. I’d been living with a guy, whom I loved, wanted to marry and raise kids with. He wanted those things, too, until he didn’t. I hadn’t seen the split coming and felt completely gobsmacked.

I turned around, reactivated my OKCupid profile, and began dating immediately. That turned out to not be such a good idea. I thought I needed to distract myself (and considering I had moved back in with my parents, part of me did need to distract myself) but what I really needed was to heal. Alas, even though I was not ready to date yet in the grander scheme of things, dipping my toe back in the waters showed me there were lots other guys out there. It took me a couple months to admit that there could be someone out there better for me than Ex-Mr. Jessica. But my acceptance wasn’t necessarily due to anything particularly convincing he said while we were breaking up; it came from meeting other guys online who, in integral ways, seemed like they’d be a better fit.

That’s not to say that I limped off my injury gracefully. Not much at all, in fact. I passed many, many months during 2011 mired in bitterness — hurt, resentful, and very angry. Keep reading »

6 Ways You Should NOT Treat Yourself On Valentine’s Day (And Better, Less Tragic Alternatives)

how-not-to-treat-yourself-valentines-day

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to suck. I’m a firm believer in treating myself to something nice when other couples are hiding engagement rings in food and making oogly eyes across the pre-fixe dinner table. But do not be mistaken: sometimes the one thing you think will make you feel better will leave you you crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. You know…so I’ve heard.

Here’s how NOT to treat yourself this February 14th (and some alternative options)…
Keep reading »

Stevie Nicks’ Single Lady Lifestyle Sounds Positively Dreamy

Stevie-Nicks'-Single-Lady-Lifestyle-Sounds-Positively-Dreamy

“I’m single, I don’t have children, and I’ve never been married except for three months a long time ago. And that doesn’t matter; It wasn’t a marriage of reality. I live a single woman’s life and yes, I spend a lot of time by myself. I have a few very close friends, most of them I’ve known forever, and I kind of like it. Would I be willing to have a boyfriend? It would be fun if I could find a boyfriend who understood my life and didn’t get his feelings hurt because I’m always a phone call away from having to leave in two hours for New York or a phone call away from having to do interviews all day long. It’s not very much fun to be Mr. Stevie Nicks. In the last 10 years I’ve just said I’m going to follow my muse. If I want to go somewhere I don’t have to worry about anyone being mad at me. I don’t have to make up excuses on the phone about why I’m not coming home. If it were to happen to me I’d be thrilled. But when I’m 90 years old and sitting in a gloriously beautiful beach house somewhere on this planet with five or six Chinese Crested Yorkies, surrounded by all my goddaughters who will at that point be middle-aged, I’ll be just as happy.”

Stevie Nicks talks about being single, following her muse, and retiring to a beach house full of Yorkies in the New York Times. Oh, and how to deal with unresolved anger: let time pass and do something that makes you happy. Um, I’ll have one of what she’s having, please. [New York Times]

Jennifer Lopez Doesn’t Like Being Single

“I’m one of those people who does not like to be alone. I have no shame saying that at this point in my life. I think we have to own who we are.”

Hey, at least she’s honest! At an American Idol panel, the newly-single Jennifer Lopez was asked about her relationship history and if she’d marry again. Jen had this to say about it: yup. When I first read her confession that she doesn’t enjoy being single, my little codependency-phobic heart cringed. On the other hand, why should JLo pretend otherwise just to make other women feel better? She knows who she is, what she needs, and she’s confident enough to say it. I suppose that takes a lot more courage than being single just for the sake of proving something. [US Weekly] [Image via WENN]

Let’s Make Some Christmas Cookies For Singles!

Christmas Cookies For Singles
"Half a teaspoon of your own tears..."

Single this holiday season? Me too! And so is the hilarious Akilah Hughes, who you might remember from her awesome “Meet Your First Black Girlfriend” video. She’s ridin’ solo, and in this video, shows you how to make Christmas cookies for singles, no fucks to give about any exes, nope none. [YouTube]

Dater X: When The Single Slog Sets In

Dater X: When The Single Slog Sets In

I’m just going to come out and say it: I can’t stomach being single anymore.

With the exception of a few men who’ve come and gone, lasting only a few weeks here and a few months there, I’ve been dating unsuccessfully for about four years now. There have been periods of time where I’ve sworn off men completely, refusing to date or so much as look at my OKCupid notifications. I’ve also engaged in the opposite behavior, juggling multiple dudes at a time, hoping one of them would turn out to be worth continuing to date. I’ve gone through bouts of depression, seeking therapy to help me move on from past relationships (Thanks, Patrick Bateman!). But the hardest part of it all has been remaining confident in the knowledge that, despite the evidence to the contrary, I have a ton of love to offer someone and should never settle for anything less than a wonderful guy. Keep reading »

Sandra Bullock Is Savoring Her Single Status

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Cady Coleman Sandra Bullock Gravity
Watch Sandra and Cady Coleman discuss women in space! Read More »
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Sandra Bullock rocks a shaggy mullet on the cover of "Vogue." Read More »
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“If [a relationship] should come along, great … But I feel like I’m not missing anything yet. Maybe one day I will. But my son is three years old, which is an amazing age. Four is an even better age. So if something happens, great, but if not, I’ve got plenty to do…Life is a series of disastrous moments. In between those moments, that’s when you savor, savor, savor.”

Sandra Bullock talks about her relationship status in Entertainment Weekly. I doubt she’s missing out on anything either. If she was, I’m sure she’d know. It’s quite a feat to try to bounce back when your ex is Jesse James. I appreciate Sandra’s her outlook on relationships: a series of disasters with some good moments in between. Often those good moments happen when you’re single — not just when you’re smitten. [People]

Bar Refaeli Is Just Like All Of Us: Lonely, Single & Obsessed With Ryan Gosling

Bar Raefali doesn't understand why she's single

“I don’t understand it … I’m cool. I like going out. I like being at home, I like movies, I like eating. So what’s wrong with me? Why am I alone? … I’m looking for someone serious, who I can set up home with … Someone who comes from a warm, loving family like mine, who has values like mine…I’m very interested in going out with someone who is big and strong and famous … I see [Ryan Gosling and I could melt. He’s amazing. He’s my wow.”

-- Bar Refaeli laments her single status in an Israeli newspaper. The supermodel may not look like most of us, but she feels existentially lonely like we do. We've all been there -- trying to make sense of why we're still single, daring the universe to send someone, anyone worthwhile our way, fantasizing hardcore about Ryan Gosling. The only difference is that Bar seems to be confused about what feminism is. She is so relatable up until the the part of the interview where she says that she's "not at all a feminist" because she likes to do dishes and wants to be a stay-at-home mom. Guh. I think we need to get her, Farrah Abraham and Taylor Swift together for a little teaching session where we explain that you can do dishes and still be a feminist. [NY Daily News]

7 Random Things I Miss About Being Single

Secret Single Behavior
The 20 things we're kind of ashamed that we do when we're alone. Read More »
Degrees Of Singleness
Where do you fall on the spectrum? Read More »
Open Letter: Single Self
Ami wrote a letter to her single self. Read More »

I had dinner with a friend recently who, when I opened up about some of my life issues, looked at me all moon-eyed and dreamy and said: “But being in love makes everything so much better.” I laughed. Like, actually laughed in her face. When I was single, I used to look at new couples and feel a pang of jealousy thinking life must be so easy for them. Yes, being in love is a wonderful, blissful, transcendent life affirming experience, but it doesn’t make anything better. Everything that was a problem in my life before is still a problem. What’s different is that someone cooks me scrambled eggs for breakfast and genuinely wants to see all my Instagram photos and knows what to do to make me laugh when I’m grumpy. So, back to the question: what’s changed in my life? A lot, but not all of the changes have been easy ones. Falling in love is an adjustment — like moving to a new city or starting a new job or, I imagine, becoming a parent. You find yourself a refugee from your former life, trying to integrate your old self with the new one. Keep reading »

You Need To Read Stevie Nicks’ Sage Wisdom Of The Single Lady

Get Stevie's Style!
shopping guide stevie nicks
10 pieces inspired by our unfettered love for Stevie Nicks. Read More »
Stevie And Christina
A Stevie Nicks and Christina Applegate duet. Watch »
Stevie Nicks Documentary
"In Your Dreams" is a must-see documentary about Stevie. Read More »

“Most women would not be happy being me. People say, ‘But you’re alone.’ But I don’t feel alone. I feel very un-alone. I feel very sparkly and excited about everything. I know women who are going, like, ‘I don’t want to grow old alone.’ And I’m like, ‘See, that doesn’t scare me.’ Because I’ll never be alone. I’ll always be surrounded by people. I’m like the crystal ball and these are all the rings of Saturn around me. … My generation fought very hard for feminism, and we fought very hard to not be labeled as you had to have a husband or you had to be in a relationship, or you were somehow not a cool chick. And now I’m seeing that start to come around again, where people say to you, ‘Well, what do you mean you don’t have a boyfriend? You don’t want to have one? You don’t want to be married?’ And you’re like, ‘Well, no, I don’t, actually. I’m fine.’ And they find a lot of reasons why you’re not fine. But it just seems to be coming back. Being able to take care of myself is something that my mom really instilled in me. I can remember her always saying, ‘If nothing else, I will teach you to be independent.’”

– Some of Stevie Nicks‘ life choices might not be ones we’d make for ourselves. That permanent hole in her nose she got from snorting so much cocaine? No thanks! But when it comes to being happy with being single and independent and surrounding herself with friends so she doesn’t need a man, Stevie’s a veritable guru. Being able to take care of yourself and be independent is one of those life skills they don’t teach in school, but totally should. [NYmag.com] [Photo: New York magazine]

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