Tag Archives: single women

Frisky Q&A: Melanie Notkin, Author Of The Otherhood, On Women Who Want Children But Don’t Have Them Yet

melanie notkin otherhood

The Otherhood: a growing population of educated, professional women in their 30s and 40s who have yet to find love or start a family. In fact, statistics show that almost 50 percent of American women are childless — yet our society still isn’t quite sure how to treat these women, placing all sorts of assumptions and opinions on them without truly understanding their decisions.

Enter Melanie Notkin, the successful founder of Savvy Auntie and a vocal representation of this demographic. Melanie’s new book, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind Of Happiness, is part memoir and part reflection, digging deep into world of these women and the challenges they face. Keep reading »

You Aren’t Imagining It: Study Finds That Seeing Happy Couples In Ads Makes You Depressed

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8 Bits Of Radical Relationship Wisdom From The Single Dude Who Quit His Job To Travel The Country And Interview Happy Couples
8 bits of wisdom from someone who interviews happy couples. Read More »
carrie bradshaw sad

New research from the University of Southern California found that, shocker, looking at images of happy couples when you’re single makes you feel crappy. Advertisers love to rely on the “lovey dovey” trope to sell things, assuming that people who aren’t in a happy relationship will see the product as the key to attaining kind of life they want (“aspirational”).

Instead, just the opposite happens: consumers think they aren’t worthy of the brand. What researchers refer to as single consumers’ perceived deservingness drops with each ad they see of a relationship they don’t have. The popular stereotype is that when people feel bad about themselves, they turn to retail therapy. Instead, they actually stay away from nice stuff. If they do indulge while in their funk, the things they buy usually are lower-end or, in the case of food, low-calorie. Keep reading »

Hitched: Who’s Next?

How about this: unless you’re speaking to a person who is literally about to walk down an aisle to an altar at which they will proceed to exchange vows of lifelong love to another human being, don’t tell them they’re “next” to get married.

That’s what a friend of mine’s sister told her recently, and … well, I’ll just tell you what my friend — a single lady — expressed in response: “RUH RUH!?!?!” Because seriously. Nobody’s “next.” There’s not a wedding pecking order. Nobody is the first person to get married, and matrimony isn’t a race wherein some people come in second, third or fourth place. Keep reading »

Hitched: Everybody Panic, Single Women Are Planning Weddings!

The New York Times, ever concerned about the plight of the three people it takes to make a Style Section trend story, has identified a disturbing new tendency among women to … plan their weddings. But wait for it: they’re not just planning their weddings, they’re doing it on the Internet and they’re doing it while single.

The horrors, they are horrifying. Time to muster the judgment and disdain appropriate to the situation: these pathetic cases are wasting their sad-ass time, and their real human relationships are suffering for it, because using the Internet means shunning all human contact, only going outside once a week to get a gallon of milk and a bag of cat food. Keep reading »

Hitched: What I Miss About Being Single — And What I Don’t

People just love to get engaged at Christmastime. I imagine this is a result of a combination of factors, from feeling more family-oriented than usual (although the holidays have the opposite effect on many of us) to the celebratory atmosphere at large and increased presence of shiny objects generally. I spent Christmas Eve “liking” a whole new host of “Blankety Blank is engaged to Persony Person” updates before heading to sleep in my childhood bedroom with my new-ish husband. Keep reading »

Hitched: Reliving The Bachelorette Life

Secret Single Behavior
The 20 things we're kind of ashamed that we do when we're alone. Read More »

I made sure to get the thin crust pizza, because I knew that once it was just me and a couch and Liam Neeson rescuing some people from some horrible shit and/or wolves, I was going to eat all that pizza, and I did not want the bread bloat. I was treating myself. I was worth it. I was alone.

For the past two and a half years, in the process of dating, moving in with and then marrying my husband, I haven’t been alone much. I’d almost forgotten how to do it. I’d almost forgotten how to do something I love to do, and something that I’m very, very good at doing. I don’t mean being single. I mean being solitary. By myself.

For most of my 20s, I was in long-distance relationships, make-up break-up relationships or deep into singledom. I had a lot of opportunities to cultivate my own favorite kinds of solitude: taking long afternoon drives out into the Texas Hill Country, getting a six pack of High Life tallboys, watching British comedies all night, going bonkers on multi-hour sewing project marathons that ended in inevitable disaster. Doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted to, and never having to wonder whether eating all this ranch dip at 3 p.m. is that going to mess up dinner plans. Because I didn’t have dinner plans. And I fucking loved it. Keep reading »

“Bachelorette” Writer/Director On Struggling To Define Single Women

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“With ‘Bachelorette,’ I thought of these really thin, beautiful women, who if you saw walking down the street you’d think, ‘These girls have their lives together and it makes me feel bad about myself.’ I wanted to examine how they are gluttonous through drug addiction, materialism, sexual voraciousness, eating disorders — literally take, take, take, consume, consume, consume. Then there is their friend, Becky, who is moving into adulthood. She’s the one who appears to be the gluttonous one, who you might point at and say she has a problem because she’s overweight. You might feel better about yourself and move on. But she’s the one who’s getting out of the prison that these characters have created for themselves. …  I couldn’t for the life of me think of one good moniker for these women and who they are that wasn’t punitive. You know what I mean, like Sluts’ or ‘Bitches,’ and who would see a movie called that? All we’ve got is this feminized version of this male idea, that’s, by the way, a great thing if you’re a man. If you’re not married and you’re a straight guy, the world is your fuckin’ oyster, but if you’re single and you’re a woman and you’ve got something going for you, it’s just so sad you’re not married yet. It doesn’t make any sense to me. But what do I know? I’m sad and alone.”

Watching “Bachelorette” on Video On Demand is on my to-do list this evening, so I was interested to read this Q&A with the writer/director Leslye Headland. “Bachelorette,” as you’ve probably heard, is about four high school friends who reunite for one of their weddings — and the other three freak the fuck out because they’re still single and childless. And snorting loads of cocaine, apparently. As someone who is gearing up for her 10-year high school reunion and is also “sad and alone” according to societal standards, I have to say it’s a topic of interest! The subject of the movie, I mean. [BlackBook Mag]

The Louise Neathway Conundrum: Being Single Will Make You Crazy, Says Times Writer

Scandals Of 2011
Charlie Sheen photo
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Single ladies, be warned: your singleness may sometimes be confused with craziness. That’s the message New York Times writer Ginia Bellafante sent this past weekend, in a piece entitled, “A Tale of Desperation and Restraining Orders.” In it, she chronicles the sordid tale of Louise Neathway, a woman accused of stalking and extorting money from her former lover, Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman. What’s likely true: the married Cashman had an affair with Neathway — who is also known as Louise Meanwell — and following their tryst, Neathway demanded $15,000 for an undisclosed medical procedure. But while most might read Neathway’s story as a cautionary tale about the risks of entering into an affair with a married man, the Times’ Bellafante instead eeks out a warning to all the poor misbegotten men out there: Single women be crazy, y’all. So watch out.

Keep reading »

All The Single Ladies … Say This S**t

Shit Girls Say
Oh ladiez, so predictable! Watch »
More Shit Girls Say
The stereotypes keep on comin'! Watch »
And Even More!
Girls say the darndest things. Watch »
Watch Video

I’m too intimidating. I hate birthdays. I hate New Year’s. Yup. I’ve said all of these things and more. Behold, shit single ladies say. [YouTube]

Today’s Lady News: “Why You’re Not Married” To Become TV Show

Today's Lady News
  • Last year the internet was pissed off at a Huffington Post blog post by “Mad Men” writer Tracy Terry McMillan entitled “Why You’re Not Married,” which let us all in on the secret that men don’t like bitches, liars and sluts. The piece should have crawled back under the rock from which it spawned. But alack, alas, ABC is turning it into a sitcom.  [Clutch Magazine]
  • Four black nurses in Cobb Country, Georgia, are suing their employer Accord Services for not sending them to work in white homes. [Madame Noire]
  • The Health Resources & Services Administration released a report yesterday about the health-related needs of women, including, for the first time-ever, lesbians and bisexuals. [Think Progress] Keep reading »
  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

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