I am the only person in my friend group not in a relationship, a swinging single floating in the midst of the happily coupled. Nights out are often curtailed early. Someone’s boyfriend is tired, someone else’s boyfriend has the stomach flu. One couple stayed out too late and now has to go home to rest their eyes and watch DVR’ed episodes of “Orphan Black,” together, natch.
Hanging out with couples used to make me uncomfortable. I never knew what to do when their tiny domestic disputes were laid bare in front of me at the bar. One of the most uncomfortable brunches I have ever encountered was before Christmas, with my best friend and his boyfriend. I pushed a pile of Eggs Benedict around my plate as they exchanged carefully shrouded barbs about present exchanges and quality time before the holidays. I left them standing quietly on the street in front of the restaurant, speaking in hushed tones about what to do next. Keep reading »
This weekend, I went to Vermont to see my best friend from childhood get married. It was really wonderful; there’s a special feeling that comes from witnessing someone you knew as a child celebrate such an adult occasion, you know? And it’s also rare that I’m around people outside of my own family who can say, “I knew Amelia when she was yea high” — their hand only four feet off the ground — “and had a bowl cut.” Ahh, memories.
I must admit, though, that I was a little nervous about going to this wedding in particular, as it was the first one I would be attending alone. While I obviously knew the bride and her family, everyone else was going to be a stranger to me. Would there be other singles? Would I have the balls to get out on the dance floor? Would I fall into a lake again? And, most cliche of all, would I be sad about being nowhere near close to making such a commitment myself?
Well, it turns out, being a single gal at a wedding — especially a wedding where you don’t really know anyone — is seriously underrated and I had a blast. It was, dare I say it, really kind of great for the self-esteem. Here are three reasons why… Keep reading »
“So … are you single?” It’s a question we expect people to have one of two answers to: Yes, or no. You’re either single or you’re not.
But what about all the various degrees of singlehood? Some single people I know haven’t been on a date in years; others are on a date every night; still others haven’t officially declared themselves paired off, but spend most of their free time with the same person. Where do you fall on the spectrum? Keep reading »
I have written before about how much I enjoy living alone. I got my own apartment shortly after my fiancé and I broke up; though I did very much enjoy cohabiting with him — having roommates in college and in my first years in NYC, not so much — I quickly discovered that living alone was so much better. While I am a big believer in living together before marriage and know I will live with a partner again, it will take a mighty special person to get me to break up with my bachelorette pad.
I recognize I am in a privileged position, being able to afford my own place, especially in New York. But if you ever get the chance to live alone — and this is certainly more economically feasible in other parts of the country where rent isn’t so mind-bogglingly high — you need to seize the opportunity. Living alone has presented me with some awesome perks that I think may sway you to someday ditch the roommate or cohabiting BF. Keep reading »
WTF, Florida?!?! Residents of Tampa received a mailer about mayoral candidate Rose Ferlita warning them that this deranged harpy is “Unmarried. Unsure. Unelectable.” What kind of freak wouldn’t be married? Someone who is unfit for public office, that’s who! Rose Ferlita “put her political ambitions first and foremost,” the mailer reads, “while her opponent is a dedicated family man with two children. Ferlita is an unmarried woman with a suspect commitment to family values.” Translation: she’s not married because she’s a BIG OLD LESBO. Actually, I don’t know if that’s the rumor about Rose Ferlita and I don’t care. Exorciating an ambitious female candidate because she’s single and childless — qualities few would bat an eyelash about if they were applied to men — is one of the most sexist political attacks I’ve ever seen. [Bust Magazine] Keep reading »
I was on the phone with my friend Beth, a 31-year-old international sales exec at a major Hollywood film studio.
“I can’t believe a four-year relationship could end with us living on two separate coasts,” she said, “But he was traveling so much and I finally just told him, ‘This is not what I signed up for when I got involved with you.’ So, we’re officially separated.”
She sighed. I sighed.
“Anyway enough about me, what about you, Italian girl? I thought they worshiped American women in the land of pasta and love, why are you still single?” Keep reading »
In the six weeks or so since my wedding, I’ve had a chance to reflect on how my life has changed as a married woman. There are a few subtle differences (extra ring on my left hand, saying the phrase “my husband,” cooking with fancy pots and pans), but the truth is, life hasn’t changed much. Drew and I lived together almost two years before tying the knot, so other than opening a joint checking account to save our wedding money and deposit cash into once a month for future travels, we haven’t done much differently as husband and wife than we did as boyfriend and girlfriend. But when I think way back to my days before Drew, when I was still very much a single gal, it occurs to me that while there were certainly things I loved about my single life, if I had a chance to live those days over, there are several things I’d do differently the second time around. After the jump, the top five things I’d do if I had a “do-over” on my single life. Keep reading »