In my early 20s, I’d say I was an Organic Slow and Steady. When I was engaged to my fiance, I definitely thought of myself as a Ritual Re-Inventor. And after our breakup? A Phoenix, baby. Nowadays, I’d consider myself an Organic Someday Mom Trailblazer. What the hell am I talking about? These monikers are just some of the 12 “categories of single women” outlined in Michelle Cove’s Seeking Happily Ever After: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Being Single Without Losing Your Mind (and Finding Lasting Love Along the Way). MarieClaire.com has the full list of single woman types and their brief explanations, writing that Cove “interviewed more than 100 women and talked to them about how relationships based on what they think they should want often leave them unhappy. She tried to determine what it was that they truly wanted — in the process, getting readers to think a little more deeply about what their dream relationship might really be like.” Keep reading »
Somewhere back there, I was left behind. It happened at my book club. When the group started, we were seven women who craved cheap wine more than Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake.
The text was just an excuse to air our grievances: My mom and I are fighting; my boss hates me and I hate her; the new dog is too big for the old apartment; I ran into my ex; you’ll never believe what happened last night.
We drained our glasses and edited each other’s problems. Everything seemed more manageable with corrections. When it came time for Allison* to vent, the responses were different. She was married, her life doubled. Keep reading »
By now you’ve probably read a news article with the lede: “Ack! The ‘Cathy’ comic strip is ending!” Yes, it’s true. Cartoonist Cathy Guisewite, 60, announced yesterday that she will retire the 34-year-old comic strip in October for the usual reasons: to spend more time with her family and pursue other creative projects.
It’s as good a time as any to put the old girl down. After decades as a
swinging desperate single gal, the Cathy character married her cartoon beau, Irving, in 2005. Cathy’s other trials and tribulations — fending off both unwanted pounds and unwanted mothering — are neuroses she’ll apparently never get over.
As stereotypical as the “Cathy” comic strip (which I’ll admit I haven’t read regularly since high school) was regarding single ladies, I’m not about to say “Good riddance!” Yes, she was obsessed with finding a husband. Yes, she was obsessed with her scale. I’ll just say it: she was annoying. But “Cathy” was also pretty groundbreaking. Keep reading »
Every day, single women devote countless hours to pondering the mystery of men. We analyze our behavior, their behavior, vocal nuances, hypothetical scenarios, even the punctuation of a text message, all in an effort to determine what they’re thinking, what they like and don’t like. When things go badly for no apparent reason, we meticulously comb every detail of every interaction for clues about what went wrong. Although remarkably little ink in men’s magazines is devoted to making over women or determining whether oft-cited flaws are terminal, guys have their own (mental) list of women’s undateable traits. Men from around the country agreed: they hate these five things that single women love. Keep reading »
I knew this was going to happen: Tina Fey hosted “Saturday Night Live” this past weekend and yesterday morning, our fellow lady blogs were all abuzz with complain-y posts. Bloggers I read and respect, including Sady Doyle at Feministe, Jessica Grose at Double X, and Irin Carmon at Jezebel, took to their blogs to react to Fey‘s hosting gig. And I understand why women were watching, fingers poised to the keyboard: Whip-smart and witty Fey is a role model for millions of women and girls.
Still, I’ll bet Jude Law didn’t have to deal with being over-analyzed to death the Monday morning after he hosted. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago I found myself in a peculiar situation. But first, let me give you some background.
I live in New York City but grew up in Akron, Ohio, which is located in a region where landscapes switch between cement tundra and golden cornfields as quickly as one pop song flips to the next on your car radio. In a way, this is emblematic of the people who reside or have resided there: we shift easily between modern-liberal and traditional-conservative thought (hence, a swing state). In my 27 years, I’ve seen this dichotomy play out in two key scenarios: the presidential election of 2004 and a recent trip home to attend my first non-family member baby shower. Keep reading »
The last time I went on a date was a month ago and it was decidedly “meh.” I deleted my profile off OKCupid because I was sick of getting new messages from guys who were, at best “meh,” at worst psychotic/illiterate/pervy. To be honest, for the first time since my breakup, I have been enjoying being single. And I don’t mean single as in “I’m dating lots of guys and going out all the time like Samantha from ‘Sex and the City,’ woo-hoo!” I mean I am single and enjoying my alone time. I’m having dinner with friends, catching up on movies I’ve missed (I think I am the last of Blockbuster’s customers), riding my bike, and starting up yoga again. Next month I’m going on a yoga/surf retreat in Costa Rica for a week, and when given the option between coed or an all-women retreat, I went with the latter. Coed shouted two things to me — couples (blech) and single dudes looking to show off their shredding abilities. The latter would normally kind of turn me on, but like I said, MEH. Keep reading »
Last night, my guy went to watch Megan Fox’s hot body, I mean, “Transformers 2.” One girlfriend wanted me to grab dinner and another wanted to see a movie.
But the only thing I wanted to do was eat half a bag of potato chips for dinner, flip through Women’s Health and paint my nails with a hot pink polish so bright it would blind a newborn.
So you know what? That’s what I did.
Kinda lame, I know. But I had a really great relationship with myself for those two years that I was single and last night reminded me there are some kinda lame things single women do that are actually really fun. Keep reading »
In January, I left a live-in relationship after three years. The experience was all the sad adjectives you can imagine. But after the sobbing spells and the heavy drinking, the fog lifted—I was finally single again for the first time since after I graduated college.
Naturally, I expected my single friends to react with equal doses of giddy glee. For the record, I’m not the kind of girl who ditches my ladies when I’m dating someone. But lots of time does free up when you become single. Keep reading »