Yikes! A 54-year-old Californian mother of three booked an appointment with a plastic surgeon to have some work done. But when she found out how many Benjamins she’d have to lay down, she did what every thrifty American would do. (NOT!) She went online, bought a $10 vial of liquid silicone, and injected it into her own lips and cheeks. She is—shocker!—not so pleased with her new face.

Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…

Dildos and vibrators (a dildo with a battery operated massage element) are made for faux-penis fun!  Reportedly 44% of women have toyed around with one.  Surprisingly enough, 78% of those women with a B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) are in a relationship. In fact, these adult playthings are known to help women orgasm with their sexual partners. Here’s how to make sure you’re getting the most bang for your buck when buying yourself or that special someone the gift that keeps on giving…

A travel company plans to take advantage of the May 30 release of the Sex and the City movie by offering theme vacations, which will cost $15,000 to $24,000 for a four-day tour. Save your money, people. If you want to go to Saks, Barneys, Tiffany, and Patricia Field, we’d be happy to give you the addresses. [Reuters]

Some French females are bartering for housing with sex. [The Times, U.K.]

Be careful what sex toys you purchase, because the industry is largely unregulated (ever wonder why it says “novelty product” on the packaging?) Some materials, like plastic or latex, are porous and can’t be properly sterilized. Plus, phthalates, a chemical often added to plastics to make them more flexible, can leach out over time and be absorbed through the body’s mucus membranes. Stick to silicone. [The Edmonton Journal, Canada]