Tag Archives: sigma nu

“Morgan Freeman” Assaults Us With That Awesome Sorority Girl Letter

"Punch yourself in the face right now."

Last one, we swear! If you get Morgan fucking Freeman to read Rebecca Martinson’s Delta Gamma sorority letter, you better believe we’re going to post it. Okay, maybe it’s not Morgan Freeman himself, but a Morgan Freeman sound-a-like named Josh Robert Thompson — and it’s pretty damn convincing. This could change everything. Think about “Shawshank Redemption,” for one. What if Morgan Freeman’s character Red had been all, “ANDY! Don’t be a cunt punt! Dig us out of prison!” How much better would that movie have been, really? [HyperVocal]

Meet Sigma Nu!
Sigma Nu
Here's the frat Rebecca Martinson is concerned with impressing! Read More »
Rebecca "Resigns"
Rebecca Martinson
The Delta Gamma sorority letter writer resigns. Read More »
Michael Shannon's Reading
Michael Shannon
A slightly scarier version of Rebecca's email... Read More »

The Men Of Sigma Nu: The Guys Rebecca Martinson Wants You To Hang Out With

Remember when Delta Gamma sorority girl Rebecca Martinson warned that “FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR”? And then she told you that “I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters”?

Yes, well, we’ve finally uncovered the magical fraternity that Rebecca Martinson feels so passionately about. Behold, the young men of the University of Maryland Sigma Nu chapter. According to the frat’s Facebook page, Sigma Nu’s slogan is: “Become Something More… Become a Sigma Nu.” Here they are, in a photo taken somewhere likely on the Maryland shore, red Solo cups held high, celebrating their pre-Rebecca Martinson lives. (Totally in love with photobombing orange shirt guy, BTW.) Keep reading »

Meet Rebecca Martinson
She sounds like a great gal all around! Read More »
Rebecca's Not Alone
Here are 10 other tales from the sorority hall of shame! Read More »
Amazing Sorority Letter
Rebecca Martinson wants her sisters to shape up. Read More »

Sorority Girl Rebecca Martinson Shows The True Meaning Of Sisterhood By Calling Her Sisters “Retarded”

Meet Rebecca Martinson
She sounds like a great gal all around! Read More »
Meet Sigma Nu!
Sigma Nu
Here's the frat Rebecca Martinson is concerned with impressing! Read More »
Rebecca's Not Alone
Here are 10 other tales from the sorority hall of shame! Read More »

Ladies and gentleman, meet a real life Regina George, all grown up, and the real, actual, insane vitriolic screed this member of the Delta Gamma sorority at the University of Maryland sent to her fellow sorority sisters. It’s not a nice letter, because, as Regina George sees it, the Delta Gamma sisters are so totally fucking it up with their brother frat. The sorority, it turns out, is not about fostering sisterhood amongst its members, but rather, about entertaining the dudes at Sigma Nu.

The sorority’s website (which features the rousing music of Phillip Phillips), notes that its “primary purpose is to foster high ideals of friendship, promote educational and cultural interests, create a true sense of social responsibility and develop the finest qualities of character.”

And clearly the best way to do that, according to this lovely lady — since identified as Rebecca Martinson — is to call her sisters “retarded” — as in “are you people fucking retarded?” But also! “I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck,” she writes in her missive, “about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM.” Apparently the sisters are not only not entertaining the Sigma Nu bros, but they’re also being weird. And as anyone between the ages of five and 40 can tell you, being called “weird” is a terrifying insult, and it makes you “faggots.” Witness: “I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots.”

Well, that settles that. Keep reading »

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