GQ: Do you consider yourself bisexual?
Frank Ocean: You can move to the next question. I’ll respectfully say that life is dynamic and comes along with dynamic experiences, and the same sentiment that I have towards genres of music, I have towards a lot of labels and boxes and shit. I’m in this business to be creative-I’ll even diminish it and say to be a content provider. One of the pieces of content that I’m for fuck sure not giving is porn videos. I’m not a centerfold. I’m not trying to sell you sex. People should pay attention to that in the letter: I didn’t need to label it for it to have impact. Because people realize everything that I say is so relatable, because when you’re talking about romantic love, both sides in all scenarios feel the same shit. As a writer, as a creator, I’m giving you my experiences. But just take what I give you. You ain’t got to pry beyond that. I’m giving you what I feel like you can feel. The other shit, you can’t feel. You can’t feel a box. You can’t feel a label. Don’t get caught up in that shit. There’s so much something in life. Don’t get caught up in the nothing. That shit is nothing, you know? It’s nothing. Vanish the fear.
– R&B singer Frank Ocean, offering a radical alternative to the gay/straight, public/private dichotomy. Ocean seems to suggest that it’s not only inappropriate to try and sexually label him, but also inadequate. And while there’s plenty of implied political power in identifying as gay or bisexual, it may not be accurate or adequate for something as large as sexuality. Ocean infamously revealed that he’d previously been in love with a man on his Tumblr this past July. [GQ]
Everything I loved about Ricki Lake in the ’80s and ’90s is still present and accounted for in the updated version of her talk show. Drag queens, eye rolling audience members and her uncanny ability to ask uncomfortable questions. Like, for instance, if you’re an openly gay man married to a woman, are the two of you having sex? And is it good?
According to Josh and Lolly Weed, the mormon couple who appeared on the recent “When Gay People Lead Straight Lives” episode, their sex life is active and fulfilling. You might have read Josh’s fascinating blog post “In which I come out of the closet on our ten year anniversary,” which was making the rounds on the internet this summer. It’s certainly worth a read. He goes into much more detail about his marriage. Keep reading »
It’s a sad statement on society when we have to issue advertising campaigns to remind people to treat their fellow human beings “with courtesy and respect.” But whatever, I’m not going to complain! This rad ad campaign by the District of Columbia Office of Human Rights is the first-ever campaign to focus on treating trans folks with the same dignity and humanity that everyone deserves. There’s a bunch of other ads with trans men and women sharing the so-totally-normal-they’re-practically-boring stuff they like to do, like “listening to Adele” and “playing basketball.” Other human beings — they’re just like us! [ColorLines]
Androgyny is in. From supermodel Andrej Pejic to gender-neutral parenting articles, the media can’t get enough of us non-binary (“boy” or “girl”) folks lately.
But is not identifying as male or female really about androgyny? Is being elsewhere on the gender spectrum the same as being gender neutral? I look at pictures of Pejic and I wonder if I’m missing something everyone else sees. It’s hard to recognize androgyny (showing characteristics of both sexes) in a person walking down the street in five-inch heels, short shorts, and a flowing top, blonde locks perfectly coiffed Marilyn Monroe-style. The same is true for us average non-binary folks. Many of us identify, like Pejic, as neither male nor female, yet our gender presentation is not neutral either. Trying to get us into that box takes a lot of squeezing, tugging, and tucking.
Keep reading »
What do you do if you’re an advice columnist who gets a letter from a young woman with questions about her crush on the twins sisters who make up the band Tegan & Sara? If you’re Dan Savage, you go right to the source and ask Tegan to answer the question for you. A woman wrote to the sex advice columnist saying:
I’ve been confused about my sexuality for two years. I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of fashions, I developed a HUGE crush on Tegan and Sara when I was nearly 20…
Does that make me gay, she wondered?
Keep reading »
Scientists have a new way of investigating a subject’s sexuality: It’s all in the eyes, they say. Instead of using invasive methods—such as a band around the penis—to determine sexual response, researchers at Cornell simply measured the dilation of subjects’ pupils in response to erotic videos, using an infrared lens. The scientists say it could be the most accurate way of determining a person’s sexuality, the Los Angeles Times reports. Read more…
A student has filed a lawsuit against the professor of a human sexuality class in Western Nevada College because he required students to keep sex journals for class in which they had to detail their masturbation habits, sexual habits, and past sexual abuse. Karen Royce said professor Tom Kubistant and the department chairman and college president, who are also being sued, dismissed her complaints that the assignments were “sexual harassment.” Keep reading »
The combination of tits and drive can, apparently, cause the internet to crash. In the past six months I’ve watched as publications and writers I admire scrutinize Lana Del Rey for representing a “passive femininity,” gawk at young writer Marie Calloway for sleeping with older, more established male writers and shake their heads at Rihanna for not giving a f**k anymore and Instagramming intimate moments from her party-fueled lifestyle. What is more controversial than a woman using her sexuality in order to get ahead? I guess, not apologizing for it.
The main reason for feminist criticism in these cases is that the image of sexuality projected by these women doesn’t look “transgressive” — it looks too much like the role assigned by mainstream, for the benefit of the male gaze. These images read socially as “hot,” seemingly heterosexual and femme. I mean, I love it when women rock the boat with their sexual expression. I enjoy the “man repeller” fashion trend, I like seeing stars like Amy Poehler not in suggestive poses on the pages of magazines, I like the ugly-funny sex in “Girls.” But I also think there should be room for more. Why can’t a fantasy-driven femme, submissive, seemingly heterosexual display of female sexuality be a genuine one? Why can’t the image of a self-destructive Lana Del Rey in heart-shaped sunglasses be one of her own creation?
With those questions in mind, click through for a celebration of famous women who are using their sexuality and not apologizing for it.
Seriously, I wish someone would have taught me about the six types of attraction way earlier in my life. Like when I was nine. So I would have known the difference between my Squishes and my Crushes. It would have saved me so much trouble. I think I am going to start referring to all my friends Squishes. [Transgender Student Life]
[Editor's Note: These drawings were originally found through Tumblr. We tracked down what we think is the original source. We've reuploaded the image without the watermark.]
G-spot, in my open letter to you, I warned that if you decided to pop up, you’d better be staying for good. And here you go showing up again, trying to steal all of the attention as always, without making any real commitment to hang around.
Some dude researcher, Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, claims to have conclusively discovered your whereabouts. He dissected an 83-year-old dead lady and found what is described as a “blue, grape-like structure buried deep in the front wall of the vagina.”
That sounds … appealing. Keep reading »