Simply put, I have been boy crazy since elementary school.
Men have always been the ones I kissed, fellated, fucked, Skype-sexed, you name it. All of my sexual experiences and struggles coming to terms with my sexual kinks have involved cisgendered men.
But until recently, there was a side of myself that lay dormant so long it would probably more appropriate to call it “stagnant.” It was a side of myself that I didn’t act upon out of fear of what would happen: the one that had sexual and romantic feelings for women. Keep reading »
Everybody wants to know how their sex life stacks up and now there’s a whole book dedicated to just that! The Normal Bar, out February 5, reports findings from a survey of what nearly 100,000 people worldwide said about their sexual behavior and relationships. But the book is not just looking at what average Joes do, it focuses on more specific findings: happy couples.
Via USA Today, here’s just a few of the book’s findings: Keep reading »
If you’ve been reading The Frisky, you know that I have a strong disdain for actor/writer/director/perpetual college lecture sleeper James Franco. For me, Franco is the epitome of the kind of dumb dude who thinks he’s really clever. But a recent piece in New York magazine does offer a slight detente between us — you know, if James Franco even knew I existed or something.
You see, New York’s Vulture blog posted an article asking “Why Is James Franco So Interested in Gay Culture?” in which the author recounts all of the gay-themed and homoerotically-tinged projects Franco’s worked on recently, and asks, Seinfeld-like, “What is the deal?”
Keep reading »
By now, you’ve probably watched or at least, heard about Jodie Foster’s acceptance speech for the Cecil B. DeMille Award at last night’s Golden Globes. Today, the internet is a abuzz with reactions to her “coming out” speech. Foster dropped the declaration that we’ve all been waiting for:
“I’m just going to put it out there right, loud and proud … I am, uh, single … I hope you’re not disappointed that there won’t be a big coming out speech tonight. I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago back in the Stone Age. Those very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to trusted friends and family and co-workers, and then gradually and proudly to everyone who knew her, to everyone she actually met.”
Met, being the operative word, Foster went on to comment on the issue of privacy, joking that nowadays, celebrities are expected to honor the details of their private lives “with a press conference, a fragrance and a prime-time reality show.” Keep reading »
GQ: Do you consider yourself bisexual?
Frank Ocean: You can move to the next question. I’ll respectfully say that life is dynamic and comes along with dynamic experiences, and the same sentiment that I have towards genres of music, I have towards a lot of labels and boxes and shit. I’m in this business to be creative-I’ll even diminish it and say to be a content provider. One of the pieces of content that I’m for fuck sure not giving is porn videos. I’m not a centerfold. I’m not trying to sell you sex. People should pay attention to that in the letter: I didn’t need to label it for it to have impact. Because people realize everything that I say is so relatable, because when you’re talking about romantic love, both sides in all scenarios feel the same shit. As a writer, as a creator, I’m giving you my experiences. But just take what I give you. You ain’t got to pry beyond that. I’m giving you what I feel like you can feel. The other shit, you can’t feel. You can’t feel a box. You can’t feel a label. Don’t get caught up in that shit. There’s so much something in life. Don’t get caught up in the nothing. That shit is nothing, you know? It’s nothing. Vanish the fear.
– R&B singer Frank Ocean, offering a radical alternative to the gay/straight, public/private dichotomy. Ocean seems to suggest that it’s not only inappropriate to try and sexually label him, but also inadequate. And while there’s plenty of implied political power in identifying as gay or bisexual, it may not be accurate or adequate for something as large as sexuality. Ocean infamously revealed that he’d previously been in love with a man on his Tumblr this past July. [GQ]
Everything I loved about Ricki Lake in the ’80s and ’90s is still present and accounted for in the updated version of her talk show. Drag queens, eye rolling audience members and her uncanny ability to ask uncomfortable questions. Like, for instance, if you’re an openly gay man married to a woman, are the two of you having sex? And is it good?
According to Josh and Lolly Weed, the mormon couple who appeared on the recent “When Gay People Lead Straight Lives” episode, their sex life is active and fulfilling. You might have read Josh’s fascinating blog post “In which I come out of the closet on our ten year anniversary,” which was making the rounds on the internet this summer. It’s certainly worth a read. He goes into much more detail about his marriage. Keep reading »
It’s a sad statement on society when we have to issue advertising campaigns to remind people to treat their fellow human beings “with courtesy and respect.” But whatever, I’m not going to complain! This rad ad campaign by the District of Columbia Office of Human Rights is the first-ever campaign to focus on treating trans folks with the same dignity and humanity that everyone deserves. There’s a bunch of other ads with trans men and women sharing the so-totally-normal-they’re-practically-boring stuff they like to do, like “listening to Adele” and “playing basketball.” Other human beings — they’re just like us! [ColorLines]
Androgyny is in. From supermodel Andrej Pejic to gender-neutral parenting articles, the media can’t get enough of us non-binary (“boy” or “girl”) folks lately.
But is not identifying as male or female really about androgyny? Is being elsewhere on the gender spectrum the same as being gender neutral? I look at pictures of Pejic and I wonder if I’m missing something everyone else sees. It’s hard to recognize androgyny (showing characteristics of both sexes) in a person walking down the street in five-inch heels, short shorts, and a flowing top, blonde locks perfectly coiffed Marilyn Monroe-style. The same is true for us average non-binary folks. Many of us identify, like Pejic, as neither male nor female, yet our gender presentation is not neutral either. Trying to get us into that box takes a lot of squeezing, tugging, and tucking.
Keep reading »
What do you do if you’re an advice columnist who gets a letter from a young woman with questions about her crush on the twins sisters who make up the band Tegan & Sara? If you’re Dan Savage, you go right to the source and ask Tegan to answer the question for you. A woman wrote to the sex advice columnist saying:
I’ve been confused about my sexuality for two years. I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of fashions, I developed a HUGE crush on Tegan and Sara when I was nearly 20…
Does that make me gay, she wondered?
Keep reading »
Scientists have a new way of investigating a subject’s sexuality: It’s all in the eyes, they say. Instead of using invasive methods—such as a band around the penis—to determine sexual response, researchers at Cornell simply measured the dilation of subjects’ pupils in response to erotic videos, using an infrared lens. The scientists say it could be the most accurate way of determining a person’s sexuality, the Los Angeles Times reports. Read more…