Remember back in 2007, when a woman married the Eiffel Tower? She’s in a relationship with a German tower crane now. There was a documentary that followed her during her commitment ceremony to the good ol’ Tour Eiffel, and that documentary ruined her relationship with the monument. The staff of the Tower refused to associate with her anymore, and she lost her sponsorships as a professional archer. She had to break up with her one great love, move to Germany, and rebound with the Berlin Wall. She’s working as a tower crane operator now, and is falling in love with her crane.
No, this isn’t magical realist fiction, or something. Erika Eiffel’s sexuality is oriented toward objects (it’s called objectum sexuality). She explained to VICE:
“Children are picking up on all these sensations from everything around them. But as they get older that is unlearned. They’re told, ‘This is an it.’ As a child I was always very connected to objects. I used to carry this little plank of wood with me everywhere I went and as a kid people think that’s cute. But as you get older, their view changes.”
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Hey, so you want to let your sexual lady friend know that, with her blessing, you’d like to finger-bang her even though she’s on her period? I’ve got good news! There’s a Flirtmoji for that.
In fact, there’s a Flirtmoji for pretty much everything, including:
Do I need to link to anything that says “[Fill in the name of a woman] is getting naked on camera for attention”? It’s been said about me. It’s being said about Kim Kardashian. It’s been said about any woman who’s ever voluntarily had a photo taken in any kind of sexualized context, and several non-sexualized contexts, for that matter.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but here’s what you do to me when you say that I take nude, sexualized photos for attention: You claim that you know my intentions. Are you a mind-reader? To my knowledge, that’s not a thing that exists. So do you know me intimately? No, you don’t, and no one who knows me intimately thinks or says that I take nudes for attention. So what you’re doing is implying that I’m a liar when I say, “No, this is not for attention,” and/or you’re assuming that attention is the only possible motivation any woman could ever have for taking a picture of herself naked, and possibly claiming that you know myself, or any woman, better than we know ourselves. That you have insight on the female character (because women are a monolith) that females don’t have if they state that they are not taking nude pictures for attention. Keep reading »
GUYS! GUYS! GUYS! Lesbians are news! Look, lesbians! They’re hot lesbians, too! Isn’t it amazing that they’re hot?! I never would have dreamed that such a thing exists! Oh my god! They’re celebrities too! They’re celebrity lesbians! They’re celesbians! They’re HOT celesbians! Did hot lesbians even EXIST before celebrities?! I BET NOT!!!! Keep reading »
Ursula from “The Little Mermaid” is almost certainly a lesbian, according to stand-up comic James Adomian, who lovingly refers to the iconic Disney diva in a recent viral bit as a “big dyke with a butch haircut.” Adomian, who is openly gay, doesn’t believe that Ursula deserves the negative treatment she receives in the movie. “Every time I’ve ever met a woman like that in my life,” he says, “she’s been awesome.”
To an extent, Adomian is right: Ursula definitely has deep roots in queer culture. According to bonus materials on “The Little Mermaid” DVD, Ursula was modeled after the famous drag performer Divine, star of the original “Hairspray.” Keep reading »
I have a friend who does bodywork — massage and chiropractic, basically — who is helping me to get through marathon training. This happens to be the same friend who’s training me in practical self-defense and who knows all about my traumas.
When he was working on my quads last week, I instinctively did what I always instinctively do — tensed up. “Agh, I hate having my thighs worked on,” I said.
“Yes, I’m aware of your safeguards,” he said.
“No, it just tickles.”
“Well, some people have physical safeguards and emotional safeguards. Just relax.”
And, it being for the benefit of my tired legs, I did. But it got me thinking about something I’ve been mulling over since I wrote about posting on Reddit’s GoneWild forum and my new approach to body image. Some of the feedback that I got was that I was unconvincing as far as my body positivity went, and that the GW posting would’ve been more interesting if I had been more upfront about overcoming body issues. Reading that made me think, Well, what if some women just don’t really have big problems with the way our bodies look? Keep reading »