Tag Archives: sexual history

Girl Talk: My Boyfriend Made Me Feel Ashamed Of My Sexual History

It started when I spotted an ex-boyfriend barreling toward us down the street. My pulse jolted, and I grabbed my current-boyfriend’s elbow and tugged him across the road, darting yellow taxis as we fled.
“Ugh,” I laughed, tossing a surreptitious glance over my shoulder. “I dated him years back.”

“Who?” Jared’s gaze followed mine, though his laugh did not.

“That guy back there. Forget it. He’s no one,” I said, and pressed the incident from my mind as quickly as it arose. After all, this was New York, and the streets were teeming with acquaintances with whom I no longer wanted to engage. Crossing the street was as sure a remedy as I knew to move on. But later that night, after we’d ordered burritos and made stilted small talk, Jared was mired in sourness, and eventually, after much prodding, he admitted the reason for his funk.

“I don’t like the fact that you’ve slept with other guys.” He said, pouting, reminding me of a five-year old stripped of his favorite toy car. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Lied About My Sexual History?”

Two years ago when my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about when we lost our virginity, I lied and told him I was 22 and had slept with three people before him. The truth is that I’d just lost my virginity a few months earlier when I was 25 and hadn’t slept with anyone else until my boyfriend. I [was] just embarrassed to tell the truth and, at the time, didn’t foresee this relationship lasting very long or think the lie was going to matter. Fast forward two years, and I love this guy and now we live together. Under normal circumstances I would just come clean, and I wouldn’t fear his reaction. I know he would just laugh at me for being embarrassed and lying about something so silly. But there is another complication. Last year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, caused by HPV. I did some treatments, and now I have recovered. My boyfriend was amazingly supportive throughout that whole difficult time, but he assumes I got the HPV before him and had it for a few years before developing cancer. He doesn’t know that I’ve only slept with one other person and it was protected sex and only two times! The odds are I got this from my boyfriend, who has slept with so many women that he can’t even count them. I’d like to get this off my chest, but I keep stopping myself. I don’t want him to think that I am telling him this just to make him feel guilty. I don’t blame him in any way. He had no idea he had HPV and it is just bad luck that this happened. Medically speaking, there is no reason to tell him since he already knows he has HPV. He just thinks he got it from me and not the other way around. So, should I tell him or is there no point now? — Recovered

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Don’t Reveal Your Sexual Past Or Your Income

There are two topics which women should never discuss in a new dating situation: (1) the exact number of men on your list of former lovers; and (2) your salary. Keep reading »

Friday Quickies!

  • New Sarah Haskins video! Yay! [Current]
  • Men tell their thoughts about women’s past sexual partners. [Tango]
  • A one-night stand can evolve into a relationship. [College Candy]
  • Here’s your guide to the Boys of Summer. [College Candy]
  • First kisses are special, but there are some things you never want to hear after that special moment. [Daily Bedpost]
  • Not all couples live together before marriage, so here are some tips for newlyweds moving in together. [Dear Sugar]
  • Keep reading »

    What Daughters Want To Know About Mothers

    Joyce McFadden, a New York City psychoanalyst, who runs a site called Women’s Realities, actively conducts studies where she asks women questions and then let’s them answer in their own words. As you’d expect, we ladies have sex on our minds. So, when prompted with, What do you want to know about your mother but would never ask?, the responses were overwhelmingly about their mother’s sexual history — from how she lost her virginity, to possible abortions, to if she had even ever questioned her sexuality. While the answers to this query may not be child-proof, as a teenager or adult struggling with our own sexuality and love life, this info could be a bit uncomfortable, but useful and potentially validating. Although, just a few days after buttering our moms up with Mother’s Day presents, we still can’t seem to ask. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

    Relationship Novice: Sexual History 101

    Revealing the number of people you’ve fooled around with is a lot like calling your grandmother. It’s one of those things you feel like you should do, but you really don’t want to. Why? Because you know you’re going to have a loooooong, drawn out conversation that essentially makes you feel uncomfortable. Sorry, Grams, but it’s true.

    While you might lie to your grandmother about that time you jumped on top of the bar and took your shirt off, lying to your new boyfriend about your “free and easy” stage is a stickier subject. So what DO you tell him? And when? Keep reading »

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