This past week on VH1’s “Tool Academy,” the dudes were taught humility by admitting their deepest fears about their relationships and prancing around in tutus.  However, their girlfriends have been trying to put them in their place since the season began by withholding sex. Granted, none of those bros deserve a piece of their girl’s promise land, since they’ve been complete bastards, but if these ladies are willing to stand by their jerky boyfriends while they man up, what’s the point of not having sexy times?!  It simply turns sex into a control issue. However, these “Tool”-ettes are not alone in their belief that keeping their legs closed for business will bring about a positive change in their love life.  The question is, does denying what you both need—sex—get you what you want—a good relationship?

A pastor in Texas thinks the best way to get closer to God is to have a ton of sex (if you’re married, that is). Rev. Ed Young, pastor of the evangelical Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, issued a “sexperiment” challenge to his congregation of 20,000: sex every day for seven days. Sex, Rev. Young explained, “will bring you closer to your spouse and to God. You will perform better at work, leave a loving legacy for your children to follow and may even prevent an extramarital affair.” But for those of us unmarried folks, us social pariahs who really don’t deserve the benefits of intimacy, Rev. Young suggests we just “eat chocolate cake.” “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations” Young quoted from the book of Corinthians to his congregation. Unless you happen to be single, of course. [via NYTimes]

I have this theory that if I had had sexual relations with my fiance on the first date, rather than, um, later down the line (hi, future in-laws!), we would probably not be getting married, because we probably wouldn’t have had a second date. Not to make my fiance sound like an a-hole, because he really is not, but he definitely, at that single guy period of his life, was intrigued by my insistence that we take it slow. If we had slept together right away, there wouldn’t have been an excuse to see me again—like a lot of horny dudes, I’m sure he was initially interested in me for my amazingly hot body (kidding!), and, you know, a dash of my winning personality and intelligence. I know there’s a theory floating from woman to woman which says that, if you’re actually interested in a guy for more than just sex, you should wait to sleep with him until the third date—women, and I am totally generalizing here, think men lose interest if you sleep with them before that third date and also lose interest if you wait longer than that. Curious to see if this is true at all and if women give men enough credit, I decided to ask a few of the guys on my IM. And ladies? You can sleep with these dudes whenever you want. It’s clear that first date, third date, 50th date, they are down.