Do guys REALLY care if you aren’t waxed or shaved down there? — Razor Ready, Virginia Beach, VA
I think women’s vaginas are like men’s faces. You’ve basically got three options: The clean-shaven, the week’s worth of stubble, or the mountain-man variety. At the end of the day, it’s all about preference. You might like your man with a baby-smooth face. He might want you to look like a tumble weed and call him mommy during sex. The bottom line is, everybody is different.
Whatever option you go with, I think it’s safe to say your landscaping habits are not going to prevent guys from having sex with you. As long as a guy doesn’t need a degree in bushwhacking to date you, I’m pretty sure you’ll get lucky.
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Is it possible for a woman to have a vaginal-only orgasm — no clitoral stimulation at all? — Wondering About The Big O, Dallas, TX
Well, the answer is SOME women can. A vaginal orgasm is triggered by stimulation of the infamous “G-spot,” located on the upper/front vaginal wall, behind the urethra (think of it as facing the stomach). Up until recently, it was thought that all women might have one. Now, the debate seems to be settled. With the help of ultrasounds, researchers recently found that not all women possess this magical spot. In a group study, the G-spot area was significantly thicker in women who claimed to have vaginal orgasms, and invisible in women who did not.
So, the cause of this? Well, it seems to be genetics. So blame (or thank) your Mom for your lack of vaginal orgasm, not your boyfriend.
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What is the deal with HPV? Can guys get it? How can I prevent getting the infection? Does it ever go away? — Curious Hypochondriac in Chicago, IL
The Human Papilloma Virus is basically a group of viruses that include different strains and types. Roughly 30 of these viruses are sexually transmitted, and can infect the genital area of men and women.
Some stats, after the jump…
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Do you have any handy tips to avoid drunk dialing/texting? I always wake up soooo regretful! — Bad Judgment, St. Louis, MI
Do you know why it’s against the law to drive while drunk? Or why you were forced to watch those high school specials that showed some kid/dog/old person getting pummeled by a drunk driver? It’s because drinking makes you act like a total idiot on the road. You weave in and out of lanes, burn your butt on cigarette ashes, and drop mini cheeseburgers on your lap. If you’re not allowed to get behind the wheel, do you think you’re allowed to talk on the phone? No need to raise your hand…the answer is NO.
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I really enjoy having sex once I’m having it, but I don’t think I have much sex drive in general — I never am the one to initiate sex with my husband, even though he’d like me too. It just never occurs to me. Once he puts the moves on though, I’m all for it. Is there any way I can ramp up my sex drive so that I can be more spontaneously horny for him? — Half-Heartedly Lazy, San Diego, CA
Lack of sex drive in women is way more common than you think. Doctors estimate almost 43% of women suffer from a low libido, with psychological and physical factors to blame. Before you figure out how to become hornier for your man, you need to figure out why you’re not in the mood. Physically, factors that can decrease your sexual desire are alcoholism, anemia, and hormone deficiencies. Psychologically, women who tend to have a lack of sex drive can be depressed, stressed, or suffering from past sexual issues (such as rape) or childhood hang-ups.
If you think you might be suffering from any of these factors, make an appointment with your doctor so he can give you his recommendations. In the meantime, start thinking of different fantasies when you’re away from your husband (work, running errands, etc.), and treat yourself to something lacy and naughty (and expensive!). Then, schedule a time in your mind when you want to get busy. A lot of times women get more turned on when they know when they’re going to have sex. Spontaneity can be just as hot when it’s planned!
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“Some guys can have sex several times in a row, while others need a few hours in between sessions. What might account for this variation, and is there a way for guys to make it so that they can increase not only stamina during sex, but decrease the amount of recovery time they need in between sessions?” — Ready For Another Round, Boston, MA
The better men eat, the better their stamina. Getting an erection (and using it) takes a lot of nutrients and blood, so men should eat lots of healthy whole grain carbs to provide energy. Zinc (which helps produce testosterone and sperm) is a good supplement to take, but you can also find it in lots of different seafoods, peas and lentils.
One time, over a very awkward lunch, my mom told me my dad took the “blue pill” (Viagra), and went on for hours over and over again. I can’t describe it, but the look on her face was not a smile. Still, if you’re not interested in trying the natural route, you can always suggest that your partner take a prescription supplement. Or, if you’re cheap, that Horny Goat Weed they sell at the corner deli.
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“I’m prone to UTIs. Is it possible for my husband to get them too? Every time I’m on the verge, he claims to get tingly and itchy too.” — Itchy & Scratchy, Atlanta, GA
For those of you not in med school, UTI’s (Urinary Tract Infections) happen when bacteria get into the bladder or kidney and multiply in the urine. While most UTIs are caused by bacteria, a good portion of them are also caused by allergies to foods, latex condoms, spermicides, or oral contraceptives. Keep reading »
My husband and I have tried having wall sex and shower sex (facing each other, missionary-style, etc.) and I think they make it look much hotter in the movies. Either that or my quads are just weak – what exercises will improve the fun of sex standing up? — Unstable in Boston, MA
I don’t know about you ladies, but I’ve got one position I do (and do it well). I don’t call it missionary, I don’t call it wheelbarrow, I call it lay on my back while my boyfriend does all the work. Sure, I’ll put my legs behind my head sometimes; I’ll even gyrate a little. The point is, zero muscles are being used and I like it. But all good things must come to an end, or change, and we’ve got to switch it up sometimes. Shower sex, sex against the wall or doorway, and all other sex standing up does take training. Here’s a few of my favorite exercises for getting into “sex” shape:
Squats (with free weights): Hold the weights (I normally do 5 lbs) down by your thighs. With your feet shoulder-width apart and flat on the floor, squat down until your thighs are parallel to the floor. Return to a standing position. Repeat until you can’t take it anymore.
Jump Rope: Trainers say this is one of the best exercises for building calf muscles. If you jump for twenty minutes (doing whatever variations are fun for you) those suckers are gonna burn.
Spin class: People make fun of me for raving about my spin class, but it works. Yeah, you’re gonna be subjected to the latest Bee Gees remix and yeah, you feel like you might die 30 minutes in, but when I do it consistently, my legs look like they belong to a Ugandan runner.
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Q: My dog constantly barks when I’m having sex. It’s so annoying and a bit of a turn-off and I don’t know what to do. If I put him in another room he barks even louder. My guy recommended we keep the puppy on the bed with us during the act but that kind of creeps me out. Is it weird that my guy is cool with that? — Sick Of The Yelping, New York, NY
A: Blugh. I just shuddered at my desk. Puppies and sex? I can think of a ton of things that go better together. Vanilla and chocolate, peas and carrots, margaritas and tacos. Life is too short to mix gross things like puppies and sex. Now that you know I’m a prude who doesn’t think Lassie and fellatio go together, I feel confident telling you it’s a little weird your boyfriend wants to keep him on the bed. With that being said, I can also see how guys can be clueless. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s more of the “duh” factor with your man, as opposed to the “Holy crap, I’m dating a freak!” factor.
You should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that it bothers you. Sit him down and compare the dog to your fictional child for a bit. Tell him the dog is part of the family and that allowing him to watch is the equivalent of a kid seeing his parents doing it — though definitely use the “f” word, because that will get the point across. Then you should immediately look into a trainer or get some books on how to stop your dog from barking. I’m no pet expert, but I think training the dog to not bark while you’re doing the deed is a better solution than letting him watch the action. Now, if the dog still wants to watch, go ahead and make the bitch pay for it. That kind of entertainment doesn’t come for free. Keep reading »
Or so says Dr. Pam Spurr, a sexpert who writes in the Times Online that feminism has made it so women are routinely depriving their partners of sex because “they just don’t feel like it.” Her solution to the problem of awkwardly unbalanced sexual desires in relationships is that both partners need to suck it up and treat sex as a duty that they need to perform whether they’re in the mood or not. We take some issue with this — obviously going without sex in a relationship is usually a sign of a larger problem, but her solution sucks. Nothing is less panty-wetting than having sex out of obligation, even if the person you love is getting off. Plus, routinely doing something you don’t want to tends to create, uh, anger at the person you’re performing said unwanted duty for. Additionally, Spurr seems to think that feminism makes women cold and unfeeling towards their partner’s desires — we suspect there’s a certain insensitivity to her needs at play too. So our big, bad, awesome solution? Freaking talk about it people! What’s distracting you from being interested in the nookie? Chances are the issues causing the disinterest are totally work-through-able, without throwing up your hands, spreading your legs, and pretending to moan for his benefit and not your own. Now that we’ve put out the trash… [Times Online] Keep reading »