“I hate giving blow jobs, but my boyfriend loves them. How can we compromise?” — Not Into Head, via email
Sssssshhh!!! Are there any boys around you right now?? Did anybody hear you?? I hope for your sake there aren’t, because if that sentiment got around, you might as well have a scarlet letter on your shirt.
Lemme clue you in to something: EVERY MAN LOVES BLOW JOBS. Your boyfriend is not lying. So you know what that means? You+blowjobs=new best friends.

