“I am an 18-year old college student. I have been dating an amazing guy who is nine months older than me for over two years. He is also in college, but we go to different universities. We have been having sex since I was 17 and the only problem has been my mother, who has disapproved. I thought that when I was in college she would leave me alone. realize that I am an adult, and give me some freedom. But no. When I recently told her that I had spent the night with my boyfriend, she got mad and said that I should have asked her. She doesn’t know that we have sex (after two years, she could hardly assume two hormonal teenagers would behave like saints), but how can I tell her to back off and that I am not her little innocent girl anymore?”—Bird Who’s Left The Nest, via email

“How easy is mono to get from brief sexual contact?”—Curious About The Kissing Disease, via email

Mono, short for mononucleosis, is known as “the kissing disease,” and is easily transmitted through saliva. So unless you’re not making out during sex (who are you, Julia Roberts?), then you’re able to get it through sexual contact…even the very brief kind. (FYI, he might want to get that checked out.)

As a matter of fact, I can tell you I’ve had mono three times. The first two times I got it I hadn’t even HAD sex yet, and was not making out with anybody (blame braces and red eyeglasses). I just happened to share a beverage or two with people at some high school parties. If I had known my entire Spring Break would have been ruined that one year,  I would have saved my six-pack of Zima for myself.

“I am a new mother of my fourth child. During the last couple of months of my pregnancy, my husband was uncomfortable having sex with me. I felt rejected, but kind of understood. This led to a good three months of no sex. By the time we DID it, it was awkwardly uncomfortable for me. I still felt like a whale. It is now two months since that first time, and we’re still not at normal speed. We used to have sex at least twice per week. The last time we had sex was three weeks ago. I feel rejected, further, and I have no confidence to initiate anything. I feel lonely and heartbroken. I love him, and I have no intentions of leaving him, but I can’t imagine allowing him to see me naked again. Is it possible to put off sex until I lose more baby-weight? I know that it could boost my confidence to tone up and give my body a good makeover. Can a relationship survive no sex during the time it would take to lose about 30 pounds?”—New Mom In Crisis, via email

The Joy of Sex, the groundbreaking tome of the swinging ‘60s and ‘70s, changed the way America felt about fornication.  Originally written by Alex Comfort, it took on taboos like bondage and was all about harnessing the sexual revolution purely for pleasure. Now, over three decades later, it’s new and improved, this time thanks to a woman! Rewritten by the nearly 60-year-old blogger and sexpert Susan Quilliam, she’s given the illicit sex book a much needed dose of estrogen—not mention some serious clit-talk. While the original opus mentioned the oh-so sensitive spot only three times, Quilliam ups the ante to even discussing new trends like phone sex, sex with a baby bump, and strip tease. But in a world facing an AIDS crisis, she’s also shifted some other sexual attitudes. Even though she’s a spinster herself, she’s focused her advice for people in committed, loving relationships. Oh and one other bonus—this new edition has also replaced the outdated drawings of two hairy hippies getting it on with a bunch of modern hotties bumpin’ bottoms. With a twist and a woman’s touch, this book is sure to be a new classic—but you’ll have to wait until it reaches U.S. bookshelves in January 2009. [Times Online]

“Ugh, the guy I have been dating will not shut the hell up during sex! He’s always directing me (“do this…do that”) or giving a play-by-play of every second (‘I love seeing your breasts bounce, blah blah blah’).  How do I politely tell him to BE QUIET?”—Wishing I Was Deaf, via email
Ugh…that would drive me crazy! For me, talking non-stop in bed is like talking in the movies…totally uncalled for and annoying. But some chicks are super into it, and that’s probably why this guy you’re dating does it. An ex of his probably said, “Oooh, yeah. Tell me what you’re doing to me right now. Talk dirty to me!”, and he decided to work it into his sexual arsenal. All it takes it one girl to eff it up for the rest of us.
Go ahead and undo the damage caused by that beyatch and tell him talking during sex makes you feel weird. Tell him you’re not used to it and it takes your focus away from him. If he doesn’t understand or like what you’re saying, then you might be too late to save this one.

Ah, Fox News. We hardly knew ye! Most Americans know the Fox News Channel as the home of some of this country’s most famously conservative pundits, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity among them—and Roger Ailes, a former Nixon adviser, is the network’s president. But, as it turns out, FOXNews.com aims to take a more hardcore approach to reporting the news. On the website, Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright is the network’s in-house “FOXSexpert.” In her column, Fulbright offers conservative news-mongers sex tips and advice that are downright raunchy. From sado-masochism to premature ejaculation, celebrity sex tapes to transcendental orgasms, it’s Fox gone wild. After the jump, the best of the sex that Fox News has to offer.

Should I be worried that I think about Daniel Craig every time I have sex with my boyfriend?—Boning For Bond, via email
For the most part, fantasies are a healthy part of a sexual relationship. Letting images filter into your mind during sex is natural, and feeling anxiety about them only makes sex less enjoyable. Fantasies can be worrisome when they’re obsessive, or focus on one person. Thinking only of Daniel Craig or an ex when you have sex could signal a bigger problem with you or your relationship.

“I want to start role-playing—how do I incorporate that into my regular sex life with my boyfriend since neither one of us has tried it before and want to start slow?”—Acting Up In Bed, via email
I think there’s two kinds of role-playing: theatrical and emotional. For example, the theatrical would be the two of you dressing up like a nurse and patient and pretending to do it on the operating table. For emotional, you would pretend to be a hooker and your boyfriend a John. Instead of costumes, you focus on the emotional side of the fantasy.

“Should I be worried that my boyfriend has been secretly watching Internet porn?”—Dating Mr. Skin Flick, via email
Internet porn for guys is like sex for our parents…they all do it, we just don’t want to think about it (and they don’t like to admit it).
A healthy amount of porn for guys OR girls is absolutely nothing to be worried about. If your boyfriend secretly watches porn it doesn’t mean he’s “cheating” on you. It just means that your guy is average, and falls into the statistic that guys think about sex every seven seconds. He also probably feels a little embarrassed that he does it. This is all totally normal.

“The guy I’m dating is seriously under-endowed. Is this a total deal-breaker?”—Dick-appointed, via email
Have you had sex already? If you have, then you know the answer better than I do. Just ask yourself this: Was it good?
When women experience orgasms during sex, it usually has nothing to do with how far in a penis goes or how wide. Most women’s orgasms are clitoral, and are achieved when pressure from the man’s pelvic bone rubs against her. The G-spot (which needs to be stimulated in order for a vaginal orgasm to be achieved) doesn’t exist in every woman, but those who do have it can reach it with their finger. I don’t know when the last time you measured your finger was (I measure mine all the time), but it’s not that long. Get my drift?

“My girlfriend has Vaginismus. We have a great relationship and we hook up orally and with hands a good amount. Unfortunately, because of her condition, we can’t have sex because it is really painful for her. Obviously I am never going to push it on her because it is WAY harder for her than it is for me. But I’m still a guy and I can’t help wanting to do it. Fortunately, she’s in physical therapy for it now. My question is, how likely is it that she will get better, at least to the point of being able to have sex comfortably?”—Concerned Boyfriend, via email
If you ever want to imagine what Vaginismus is like, have a friend pretend to poke you in the eye. Know what happens? Your eye suddenly closes as the object gets closer. In the case of your girlfriend, your penis is the “poker”, and her vagina is the “eye.” Sooo not fun.

“Can a woman get cervical cancer if a smoker routinely goes down on her?”—Paranoid About My Puffer, Houston, TX

There hasn’t been any real medical research to support this claim, but you’re not totally crazy. If I had to take a guess, I’d say having a smoker go down on you is like putting Equal in your coffee. It’s not awesome for you, but if you don’t eat eight bathtubs full of it a day you’ll be fine.

“How can my husband and I mess around when I’m on my period? I’m a little squeamish about it, but he doesn’t want to go off sex for a week.”—Flirting With Aunt Flo, Olympia, WA

A tampon isn’t the only thing you can insert when you have your period. In fact, sex while you’re on the rag can be even better than when you’re not. It sounds gross, but blood can act as a natural lubricant, enhancing your sexual experience with your husband. If you’re worried about the “cleanliness” factor of sex while you’re bleeding, you can use a colored towel or have sex in the shower to keep your sheets from seeing red.

“What’s the scoop on the male G-spot?”—Where’s Waldo?, via email

The main difference between the male G-spot and the female G-spot is that one is waaaay easier to find. Wanna guess which one?

If you said male…you’re right. It seems to me that if God were super smart, he would have reversed that. I mean, most guys can barely find the remote control, let alone a piece of spongy tissue inside your vagina. But that makes YOUR job way easier. The male G-spot is essentially the prostate gland, and it’s located in the man’s badonkadonk. Rumor has it that if you stimulate the male G-spot, it makes the guy have an amazing orgasm. Use this guide, after the jump, the next time you’re feeling frisky with your man…

“I’m on anti-depressants that have totally killed my libido but have made me feel much better in every other way. Should I consider switching to something different because of the sexual side effects or is there a way to increase my libido without coming off my meds?”—Pill Popper, via email

The sucky thing about anti-depressants is exactly this. They make you feel all nice and happy about things, but kill your sex drive…which in turn makes you depressed. It’s a vicious circle.

“What percentage of women ejaculate and why?”—Squirt Alert, via email

Female ejaculation (aka shooting or gushing) has been a topic of discussion for hundreds of years. Even Aristotle pondered about “vaginal expulsions”. Which I THINK begs an even different question: Aristotle was so good in bed he made women gush?

“The skin around my vagina itches a lot. I’ve taken a look and there doesn’t seem to be any rash or visible problems of any sort – what could be the problem?”—Snatch Attack, via email

Most likely you have a yeast infection, especially if you’re experiencing abnormal discharge (white and clumpy). However, a yeast infection is only one possibility if you’re experiencing vaginitis, a term used to describe infections or inflammations of the vagina. Aside from yeast infections, vaginitis can be caused by antibiotics, excessive alcohol consumption, and allergies. A lot of women think they have yeast infections when they’re really allergic to latex condoms.

Before you head to the pharmacy to get an over-the-counter medicine (such as Monistat) make an appointment with your OBGYN to get an exam.

“The guy I’m seeing just told me he has herpes – what should I know to keep myself infection free should we decide to have sex?”—Don’t Want This Gift Thanks, via email

Kudos to your guy for telling you early on. I can only imagine how awkward that conversation must be. “Hey, can you pass the salt? Also, I have herpes.”  But he’s not alone. Apparently 1 in 4 adults in the US have herpes, and some never show any signs that they have it. How scary is that? Now that you know exactly what you’re dealing with, you have to decide how into this guy you are, and if you’re willing to risk getting the disease yourself. There’s no 100% guarantee that if you have sex him that you won’t get it. But there are ways to lower your risk significantly.

“I’ve heard about the various birth control pills that you can take to go without your period for a few months and longer. Are they really safe and recommended?”—Banning Aunt Flo, via email

Have you seen that SNL skit (clip after the jump!), where the women are going ape sh*t because they haven’t had their period in months? I have, and I have to say it scared that crap out of me.

“What is the technical definition of a sex addict?”—Potential Nympho, via email

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” Translated, that means that a sex addict is not like Samantha on Sex and the City. It’s way more serious than that.

Sex addicts tend to have the same compulsive personality that alcohol, drug, and gambling addicts have. But while booze, drugs, and card playing aren’t required for human survival, sex is. Sure, some people can choose to be celibate…but having a sex drive is a normal, healthy thing. Because of this, sexual addiction is one of the hardest addictions to treat.

A few signs sexual addicts might exhibit (in case you were curious), after the jump…