We write often about domestic abuse issues here on The Frisky and the discussions get quite heated. Those of you readers who get very passionate about the subject absolutely must read the story “Men’s Rights’ Groups Have Become Frighteningly Effective” by journalist Kathryn Joyce on Double X, about the rise of the “men’s movement.” Many men’s rights groups sound innocuous enough at face value. Who’s against men’s rights? Who’s against reporting domestic violence accurately? Who’s against letting dads see their kids? But on closer inspection, writes Joyce, their causes are pretty sleazy: they often seek to discredit women who report abuse and advocate for sharing custody of children on principle, regardless of prior criminal history of the father. Some of these men are utter nutters. One men’s rights blogger Joyce interviewed for her article told her he would refer to her not by her name but by the title “Feminist E,” because he does not use real names for feminists. He thinks men “must verbally oppose [them ]... until our flesh oxidizes into dust.” Uh-huh. Right.

• The magazine Publisher’s Weekly compiled its annual list of the year’s best books and it has zero women on it. Zilch! WTF? Tell us the names of incredible books written by women in 2009 that you’ve read in the comments. [New York Times]
• Meet Margarita Vargas, an 18-year-old girl and the one decent human being who thought to call the police when a 15-year-old girl was being gang-raped outside a high school homecoming dance in California while as many as 20 people watched. “I’m like ‘We should call the cops because that’s the right thing to do.’ I didn’t think about it twice,” Vargas said. “I think people are scared, especially in a community like this where ‘snitching’ is a big thing to people.” [CBS]
• A dozen anti-abortion activists were arrested at Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s office in D.C., some for disorderly conduct and others for unlawful entry. Pelosi’s staff said the protesters were upset about the wording regarding abortion in Obama’s health care reform bill. [AP]

David Letterman, we haven’t forgotten about you and your staff member-diddling ways! Nell Scovell, the second female ever hired to write for “Late Night with David Letterman” recently penned a piece for Vanity Fair‘s website alleging that sex between high-level male and lower-level female staffers led to a “hostile” work environment:

“Without naming names or digging up decades-old dirt, let’s address the pertinent questions. Did Dave hit on me? No. Did he pay me enough extra attention that it was noted by another writer? Yes. Was I aware of rumors that Dave was having sexual relationships with female staffers? Yes. Was I aware that other high-level male employees were having sexual relationships with female staffers? Yes. Did these female staffers have access to information and wield power disproportionate to their job titles? Yes. Did that create a hostile work environment? Yes. Did I believe these female staffers were benefiting professionally from their personal relationships? Yes. Did that make me feel demeaned? Completely. Did I say anything at the time? Sadly, no. Here’s what I did: I walked away from my dream job.

Hey, big news! Abercrombie & Fitch has a few T-shirts in its “New College” line that are, like, way sexual and sexist and not particularly funny. (The shirts above say “Show the Twins,” “Female Students Wanted for Sexual Research,“and “Female streaking encouraged.”) And people are mad about it! The American Family Association (AFA), a religious organization, says the shirts promote a “sex-as-recreation” agenda, but I don’t really think that’s the problem or a problem at all. I mean, sex is recreation. However, the shirts are sexist, foul and not funny. That said, they are extremely helpful in identifying douchebags from a distance and that is a plus. [AHN, Practical Polyamory]

You’ve probably heard of Tucker Max, blogger and author of the memoir I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, who regaled the bestseller list with stories of sex with many, many women and excessive drinking. (The charming cover illustration is of a man holding a beer bottle and pointing to a blonde chick, whose face is cut out with the words “Your Face Here” written instead. Because we’re all inter-changeable, you see.) Max is that particularly awful brand of d-bag who is proud of critics who call him morally depraved and immature; in fact, his book is blurbed with hateful things people have said about him.

So, of course, Hollywood gave this fellow a movie deal! The film version of “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” which focuses on strip club/bachelor party shenanigans, debuts on September 25 and North Carolina State University planned an advanced screening today, followed by a Q&A session with Max.

But then the campus Women’s Center caught wind of the flick, which it said is sexist and encourages behavior leading to sexual assault. Surely you’re wondering, what’s so bad with this film?

A new law in Afghanistan permits men who are Shia Muslims to deny food for their wives if she won’t satisfy his sexual longings. According to the Guardian, the law states:

“Tamkeen is the readiness of the wife to submit to her husband’s reasonable sexual enjoyment, and her prohibition from going out of the house, except in extreme circumstances, without her husband’s permission. If any of the above provisions are not followed by the wife she is considered disobedient.”

A PETA billboard in Jacksonville, FL, calls larger women “whales” and urges them to “lose the blubber” by going vegetarian. 

PETA’s press release on the billboard says “going vegetarian can be an effective way to shed those extra pounds that keep [women] from looking good in a bikini.” Oh, God, now even billboards are judging us?

Insults and fat-shaming aren’t tried-and-true ways to encourage tofu instead of burgers. But something tells us that wasn’t the point: Bigger women were the ones chosen to be dehumanized so this cruel, sexist billboard could get some chuckles. Gross. [via Feministing]

We love the idea, in theory, of a porn magazine for women. Unfortunately, Filament, a British for-women-by-women porn mag, is having a lot of troubles. First, the above-the-waist photos of “feminine” male models, which Filament‘s editors said academic research proved women are attracted to, were not pornographic enough for us. Sorry, but Rufus Wainwright clones don’t make us hot. Fortunately, the mag listened to the complaints and is trying to, um, fluff their content by including guys with erections in the next issue. But now Filament‘s publisher has stated it will not allow them to print pictures of aroused men. [Guardian UK]

• If Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had been invited to the Obama’s “beer summit,” she should have knocked back a bottle of Mad Bitch beer, said Dana Milbank, a columnist for The Washington Post, in a video on the WaPo web site. [Politico] — Because insinuating a powerful woman is a bitch is funny. Get it? Ha. Ha.
• A poll of 3,000 Brits found that the average woman checks out six men for a total of 20 minutes each day, while the average man checks out 10 women for 43 minutes. [The Sun UK] — In the interest of equality, this clearly means us gals need more eye candy!
• Gay and lesbian couples will be reported in the 2010 U.S. Census for the first time ever. [National Gay And Lesbian Task Force] — I can’t believe it took until 2010 for this to finally happen.

Come on, Double X, you’re just baiting us: With a headline like “The Appallingly Sexist Origins of Facebook,” we were expecting to be served some juicy dish that made Mark Zuckerberg, the 25-year-old founder of Facebook, look like a pig.

But Double X pulled snippets of purported douchebaggery from The Accidental Billionaires, an exposé about Facebook by Ben Mezrich, and it’s nothing more than admiring short skirts and some bikini-clad girls at frat parties. You know, really awful stuff.

Here’s what Double X called “appallingly sexist” Facebook behavior, after the jump: 

A male blogger named Anthony Michael Rojas posted a little list entitled “How To Treat A Woman On A Date: The Basics” on his Tumbler blog this week and it got quite a few angry reblogs from women who felt like his suggestions were sexist. Rojas clearly believe his suggestions to be basic “chivalry,” while his detractors seemed to suggest that there is a difference between chivalry and manners, because chivalry is rooted in sexism. I found many of the responses to not only be silly, but also bordering on unintentionally satirical of “feminist” anger. It was clear to me that the original poster wasn’t being a jerk, so why did the responses treat him like one? Still, the back-and-forth did bring up the issue of whether these eight seemingly harmless gestures are actually offensive because they supposedly treat women as the weaker sex. Let’s go through them one by one, shall we?

There’s been some internet chatter recently about how Huffington Post, a blog with mostly liberal writers and a liberal slant on the news, publishes a lot of photos and slideshows of half-naked female celebs. Two years ago I was on staff at the Huffington Post and this was going on back then too. The ongoing hypocrisy of an ostensibly liberal politics site objectifying women’s bodies, sadly, is not new.

• Jamie Lynn Spears gives us the finger, and parties it up. [TMZ]—We’re glad the girl is finally acting her age, but we’re a little scared about what’s in the cup.
• Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston have reportedly split up. [Us Magazine] —He was too cute for her, anyway.
• Courtney Love seems to have recovered from her mid-life crisis, and is on to bigger and better things…like starting her own fashion line. [Refinery 29] —I have to admit, I’m more scared than excited.

Historically, if that’s a word that can be used in relationship to blogging, Gawker Media ladyblog Jezebel has dedicated much its blog’s space to pointing out sexism in advertising—or what they deem “badvertising.” So, if the Jezebels are the self-proclaimed policewomen of what they perceive to be rampant advertising industry misogyny, what’s up with today’s ad campaign? Brought to you by the makers of Belvedere booze, the ads blanket the site from sidebar to marquee to mid-page. What’s the campaign’s theme? Masturbation! Or a liquor-and-sex-laden play on “maceration,” anyway. The copy: “maceration should never be rushed,” “maceration is all about technique,” “maceration is perfectly natural.” The ads feature a rotating red raspberry that’s decidedly clitoral paired with a throbbing “touch” message. The mid-page version features a woman—only her head is cut off, so you can’t see much of her but, well, her tits. The funny thing about Jezebel’s take on ads is that you can never quite tell what they’re going to declare misogynist. So far as I can tell, pretty much anything a) sexual and b) targeting women is TOTALLY MISOGYNIST and COMPLETELY SEXIST. Not quite sure how that works, but I guess it’s different when they’re taking the advertiser’s money. Then, bring on the decapitated women and rotating clitoris, by all means. After the jump, check out the decapitated lady paired with a post pointing to purportedly sexist marketing.

This morning, I flew back to New York and caught up on my pop music by listening to the Top 20on20 on XM radio, the one perk Airtran provides. Most of the music was expected—Lady GaGa, Miley Cyrus, Black Eyed Peas—but I’d never heard one of the songs that made it into the top 20: “Don’t Trust Me,” by the Boulder, CO, band 3OH!3. At first, I thought it was pretty catchy. That is, until it got to this part of the song:

Shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips
I said, shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

Maybe I’m overly sensitive, but I couldn’t believe a pop song with such offensive lyrics was a hit. Not only is it regularly played on XM’s 20on20, but it popped to number 13 on Billboard’s Hot 100. What do I find wrong with these lyrics? The band disrespects a historically honored woman who persevered despite limitations—she could neither hear nor see, and yet she made a difference in the world. And the lyrics imply the guys don’t want someone who talks. They want a woman without a mouth, who doesn’t speak and uses her body to communicate, rather than making any noise. Keep reading to listen to the song yourself.

In the most recent issue of Vice, Chris Nieratko lists 10 inventions he wishes, you know, inventors would make already. He desires a cell phone with lasers, a “titty-milk-catching bag,” and seven others things. That adds up to nine, if you’re counting. The 10th annoyed me.

A Mouthless Woman: A mouthless woman gives me no chance of future blow jobs, but really I have no chance of future blow jobs as it is and my wife has a mouth. But imagine how much quieter the world would be if we could engineer women without mouths.”

Is advertising that uses women’s sexuality always sexist? Feminsting.com blogger Samhita says this advertising student’s project is “sexist, voyeuristic and pervy.” It’s a fake Calvin Klein billboard featuring a woman wearing a white blouse. In the sunshine the white blouse looks normal, but when it rains the billboard morphs and reveals the model’s black bra underneath, like a real white blouse would if it were to get wet. Clever, huh?

We’re no Don Draper or Peggy Olson, but we think the two advertising students behind this project were really thinking outside the box with this idea. According to the duo, they hoped their idea would “give a life to Calvin Klein’s sexy feeling.” This billboard certainly accomplishes that goal. What do you think? Tell us in the comments. [Ads Of The World via Feministing]

These ads caught my eye—which I suppose is exactly what their creators at Brazilian ad agency Publicis had in mind when they created them. The image is arresting, isn’t it? In this provocative ad series, the women appear to be holding their own lopped off heads. The tagline is an odd fit, though. “Keep a high self-esteem even after taking off your high heels.” Not sure I get that. I mean, I get the line by itself, but how does that work when the image would suggest the tagline should read: “Keep a high self-esteem—even after losing your head”? Another version reads: “Let’s face it: what’s the point having 40 pairs of shoes in your closet and 5 books on your shelf?” Which would seem to suggest if that’s what you’ve got, you’re an idiot? A third says: “Beauty attracts men. Intelligence keeps them.” Well, now I’m just confused. Maybe it would make more sense if I was holding my head in my hands. [Ads of the World]

Over on AskMen.com there’s this article all about the importance of asking a father’s permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage, a tradition I guess I wrongly assumed was as relevant as outhouses and chastity belts. According to the article, “while the traditional reasons for asking are now obsolete, popping the question to [a woman’s] father is a sign of respect and should be thought out and prepared for.” The writer (a woman) gives some tips for overcoming any anxieties a guy may have for “popping the question” (ew) to his girl’s dad. 

Some folks have gotten their panties in a bunch over Beyonce’s cover for the “Shape Issue” of Vogue. Beyonce is one of only five black women to grace the cover of Vogue since it was founded in 1892, but blogs like Jezebel and Sociological Images think the magazine was being sexist and racist by putting her on the cover. I agree to some extent, but not for their reasons.