Ninety percent of all sex toys operate on one immutable principle — you put them in and around holes and slosh them about all flibbity jibbity. Another 9 percent, generally, are holes in which you put something in, and the last 1 percent is everything else, like paddles, high-voltage panties, and rubber sheets. Despite the wide array of terrifying shapes they may come in, at the end of the day, they’re all pretty basic in how they’re used. And, more importantly, you should have a basic idea what you plan to do with them before you start herky jerking them about your person. But nothing lasts forever in the cold November rain, not even a sphincter full of latex, and so sometimes shit just goes wrong. Dead wrong. But, like, read it so it doesn’t sound foreboding. No one dies in this article or anything. A few of them get messed up, but it’s cool. Read more on Cracked…
Working at TheFrisky has it’s unexpected perks. I get free books, free makeup and sometimes, free pants! Today, when I arrived at the office, there was a giant — I mean GIANT– bag waiting for me on my desk. I was like, Oh shit! What’s this!? I tore open the bag and inside were … three HUGE bottles of lube. Seriously, if I used lube every day for the rest of my life, I’d probably never be able to make a dent. So I took to the interwebs to see what else I might be able to do with my lifetime supply of lube. Because I’m not the wasteful type. Click through to see how you can put your leftover lube to good use. Basically, it does everything. So, you can just get rid of all your other household products.
[Lube photo from Shutterstock]
Ami was disappointed that a press release which seemed to offer her a free cupcake (!) to try was actually offering her a free cupcake-shaped vibrator to test.
I was disappointed in the choice of shape, which is not ergonomic and will look absolutely ridiculous pressed up against one’s ladybusiness. And for $48!
And Sophie was disappointed that none of us realized this Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibe is a gag gift.
All around, a thoroughly disappointing cupcake(-shaped vibrator). [Bloom Enjoy Yourself]
What better way to celebrate ascendency to the throne than with a commemorative vibrator? I like the way you think, The Netherlands. The Dutch Prince Willem-Alexander is to become King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands tomorrow, when his mother, Queen Beatrix, abdicates the throne. In celebration/mockery of the prince’s boozy reputation — he is referred to as Prince Pils, after Pilsner beer — brewers around Europe are brewing their own speciality-themed lagers. Other vendors are cashing in with orange cakes, chocolates, and even lingerie — orange is the royal color. But my favorite monarchy trinket is an orange mini-vibrator called “Ik Willem,” which translates from Dutch to mean “I, William” or “I want it.” It’s even attached to an orange wristlet, so you don’t lose it while drunk. Why can’t the British monarchy be this fun?! [Facebook: De Sexshop Alkmaar via Raw Story]
It’s Spring Cleaning Week here at The Frisky and we’ve shown you how to clean your makeup brushes, organize your beauty products, edit up your DVR queue, and even fix some cocktails that will make scrubbing your bathtub more bearable. (Do we know our readers or do we know our readers?)
But screw all that. I’m honestly not cleaning up squat unless my mom is coming to visit and then maaaaaybe I’ll put things in stacks and piles and spray scary chemicals all around the bathroom. What I’m more interested in is cleaning the area of my apartment that gets most of its traffic between 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. at night. How do I clean my vibrator? None of my condoms have expired right? (Not that I have lots of unused condoms around … no siree … I use all of them, like, all the time … )
How to spring clean your goodie drawer, or “Spring Cleaning For Sluts!”, after the jump: Keep reading »
University of Alberta vocal coach David Ley accidentally discovered that using sex toys could help ailing singers relax their vocal cords. When looking for vocal massage devices he ended up at the local sex shop. Now he swears by the little purple vibrator for singers, actors or anyone experiencing vocal strain.
“I know it’s a bit different … I know there’s a giggle factor, but it works … It relaxes tension in the larynx … it improves range and projection … What I’m trying to do is to help the person hit that high note or harness their emotional energy,” Ley said. Keep reading »
“Will I become addicted to my vibrator?” “Once I start using a vibrator, will I be able to climax without it?” “Will using a vibrator make me less sensitive?” These are just a few of the questions that have come up again and again over my ten years as the owner of a successful sex toy business.
These fears are more common than you might think. Many women believe they will not be able to enjoy sex without their favorite toys, and that if that’s true, it means they have an addiction that their partners will find disgusting. Many men fear being replaced by a toy. They feel sexually inadequate when they discover their female partners use toys to masturbate. Read more…
Playing with the concept of French designer Raymond Loewy’s 1933 streamlined, pencil sharpener and the idea that “sex sells,” Francesco Morackini created the Dildomaker as part of his “tools” series. This gadget, which penifies any household item with the twist of a crank — a carrot, a hot dog, a candle, a piece of wood — is meant to make you question the relationship between yourself and manufactured products. How very high art. This is like the adult version of a Snoopy Snow Cone Maker. Fun for days. I hope the Dildomaker soon becomes available to the public. [Cargo Collective]
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. We gather you knew this based on the high volume of Zales commercials. So, here’s the deal. The internet is gonna try to convince you that you will have the most mind-blowing sex of your life of February 14th. It will sell you the dream. It will encourage you to purchase special sex paraphernalia just for the occasion. You don’t need it! Let’s be realistic here. You’ll probably be too tired to fuck after that 16 course meal or passed out by 10 p.m., crashing from a chocolate high. Be forewarned. Here are some sexy products you shouldn’t waste your money on this V-Day.