Public Service Announcement: if you accidentally lodge a sex toy in one of your orifices, GO TO THE DOCTOR. A 50-year-old London man died this past December from septic shock after he waited five long days to remove a dildo he’d lodged into his rectum. Nigel Willis was too embarrassed to go see a doctor, though he was “dizzy, weak and unable to move,” according to ITV News, A friend finally forced him to see someone, but by that point, the dildo had pierced his bowels, leading to the septic shock. How horrible! I wish Nigel knew that a lot of people worry about losing stuff up there — tampons, condoms, even sex toys — and doctors have seen everrrrrything. Literally, everything. So, please don’t leave things sitting up there (wherever “up there” might be, I don’t judge!). Avoiding five minutes of embarrassment is not worth your life. Plus, you’ll have a really great story for your next round of “Two Truths And A Lie.” [New York Daily News; ITV News] [Image of a doctor via Shutterstock]
One of the perks of working at The Frisky for the last six-plus years is that a lot of people, specifically a lot of strangers working at sex toy companies (and cannabis lube manufacturers!), have made it their mission to up my masturbation game. I’ve been sent tons of vibrators over the years and have happily given them all a whirl, so to speak. So what better way to show you the wide array of pleasure-giving devices on the market then to open up my very own box of toys. Check out part one of this very intimate episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, and look for part two next week! BTW, this might be my favorite episode I’ve ever done. I just wanted to say that.
I consider myself a bit of a masturbation expert (i.e. I have spent a lot of my life single and horny) and have a sex toy box full of every possible vibrator you could imagine, yet I am seriously flummoxed by the point of the Glov, a new sex toy innovation. Wait, lemme take a step back. I was initially pumped by what I thought the Glov was for, as it was described by the Daily Dot as a “bionic glove” that “wants to change the way women masturbate.” I assumed that meant that this was a vibrating glove that took masturbating with your hand to whole new heights. I am firm believer that while vibrators and dildos and all that jazz are awesome, sometimes it’s good to go back to basics and use ye olde fingers from time to time, you know, just to keep them in shape. (I feel similarly about porn — great, if you’re into it, but to stave off a dependency, it’s good to take a breather from the hardcore smut and use your imagination during masturbation sometimes.) In my fantasies, the Glov gave your hand a little extra bzzzzzzzzz. Keep reading »
You guys know me, I’m all for new advancements in sexual technology. Sex toys? I’ve tried ‘em. Cannabis lube? I’ve used up every drop! But a cock ring that monitors a dude’s thrusts per minute and calories burned, and then posts that info to social media? NOPE. First of all, goddammit, can’t we all just enjoy one form of physical activity without obsessing over its weight loss potential? If you’re banging me, the last thing you should be thinking about is whether you’ve jackhammered away the bacon, egg and cheese you had for breakfast. Keep reading »
Meet Cara Houiellebecq, a 33-year-old British mother of two who has a job that even makes us Frisky writers jealous: she’s a professional sex toy tester. She got into the biz via her friend, a rep for Ann Summers (a British lingerie and sex toy company), and began trying out toys for a blog. Now, companies like Lelo send her new toys every day to test and write about. She puts our goodie drawers to shame, amassing a collection of over 2,000 toys. According to Page Six, Houiellebecq earns a more-than-respectable $27,000 from the part-time gig — but what’s money when the job brings her 15 orgasms a week? [Page Six; Daily Mail UK]
I’ll be honest, I happen to think that if you’re going to steal a vibrator from a Spencer’s in South Carolina, hiding the sex toy behind a baby sitting in a stroller is a pretty good plan. I mean, there’s a solid chance that when the alarm goes off as you try and exit the store, the manager may check your bag and pockets, but disturb little Jimmy as he slumbers in his stroller? Maybe not! Unfortunately for Misty Ann Lee (who was obviously born to be a vibrator thief with a name like that), the manager at this particular Spencer’s saw the eager-to-masturbate mom slip the sex toy into the stroller and was not having any of her B.S. denials. Keep reading »