I’d been invited to three adult novelty parties via Facebook. The first two I skipped, but decided the third time was a charm. You see, I’m a scientist, a doctor, with the capacity to deduce conclusive results from my experiments, even failed ones. After my divorce I concluded that a successful relationship requires me to think of what I can give to a partner both emotionally and sexually, rather than focusing solely on what he could give to me.
That’s what sent me to a relationship seminar about sexuality and spirituality. It’s also what solidified the decision to say yes to this party. I am in a new relationship, considering spending the rest of my life with a man and his two children. I figured, subscribing to my friend’s philosophy: “You must try everything once or you’ll die stupid.” Besides, alcohol, food and sex talk with a bunch of strangers didn’t sound like a bad way to spend an afternoon. Keep reading »
Can’t buy a vibrator (or get a free one?) by your lonesome? A new startup will help! MySecretLuxury.com (NSFW) offers a “concierge service” for sex toys for random Tuesday nights, honeymoons, or even your own 50 Shades Of Grey experience. The site sells sex toys ranging from stripper poles and ben-wah balls to paddles and books on flogging, but it’s their “personal romance assistant” service that has tongues wagging. My Secret Luxury will stock your hotel room with sex toys, research romantic restaurants, and even hire photographers for “boudoir photoshoots.”
Cool, I guess? I dunno … I feel like if you need to hire someone to “curate” your romantic life, including bedroom activities, you have problems. [My Secret Luxury via New York Observer]
Years ago, in my early 20s, I dated a guy named Mike. Now Mike, by all accounts, was heterosexual. Perhaps you’re thinking, Um, hello? Duh. Of course he was. He was dating you, and you’re a woman. But as any lady in her 20s living in New York can tell you, this doesn’t always guarantee straightness. No. It does not. However, Mike seemed thoroughly, authentically hetero. And as evidence of that fact – and just to get down to the nitty-gritty of it – I offer you the following: He had a healthy sexual appetite and, more to the point, he really enjoyed the performance of The Oral Sex. And more to the point, he was unfailingly, ahem, aroused after having done so to moi et moi’s lady-bits.
So this one night, Straight Mike and I were enjoying a couple of post-coital drinks and chitting and chatting, and I – in a pathetic if nonetheless truthful attempt to make him think me more worldly than I was/am – mentioned having made out with a girl in college. I said, “Well, there was this month in college when I kept making out with my friend Barbara.”
I expected him to tell me how edgy, original, and adventurous this was, but instead, he went, “Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I guess I never think that stuff’s that big a deal. I mean, well, I sucked this guy’s dick, like … last year I guess it was?” Keep reading »
I can’t stop looking at these photos from the Ningbo Yamei toy factory in China. The company produces 13 different models of blow-up dolls.They sold more than 50,000 dolls last year alone. Oh, and vibrators too. If you were wondering how your inflatable or vibrating date is manufactured, these photos should demystify the process for you. Yes, this is a boob in process. Spray painted areolas are terribly sexy, aren’t they? Warning: even though these body parts are plastic, they are still NSFW. [Buzzfeed]
Okay, someone please tell me what a $1,500, 55-gallon vat of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant can be used for. Usually a dollop will do ya. Fifty-five gallons seems beyond excessive. When you’re done explaining that, please look at the “customers who viewed this item also viewed” section. The “Accoutrement Horse Head Mask,” I understand. But I need to know what you do with a “Fresh Whole Rabbit” and a “Scientific Testicle Self Exam Form.” I am frightened. [Buzzfeed]
When my friend asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a “Passion Party,” I said “Absolutely!” Whether or not I was in the market for adult toys was beside the point—I’m always in the market for a good laugh.
But surprisingly, what we got was more than a case of the giggles, a taste of chocolate-raspberry flavored lip gloss, and a penis-shaped pen (which I should probably take out of my purse before it falls out and announces itself to my co-workers). We got a lesson in confidence, self-care, and even chemistry, too. Read more …