Can’t buy a vibrator (or get a free one?) by your lonesome? A new startup will help! MySecretLuxury.com (NSFW) offers a “concierge service” for sex toys for random Tuesday nights, honeymoons, or even your own 50 Shades Of Grey experience. The site sells sex toys ranging from stripper poles and ben-wah balls to paddles and books on flogging, but it’s their “personal romance assistant” service that has tongues wagging. My Secret Luxury will stock your hotel room with sex toys, research romantic restaurants, and even hire photographers for “boudoir photoshoots.”
Cool, I guess? I dunno … I feel like if you need to hire someone to “curate” your romantic life, including bedroom activities, you have problems. [My Secret Luxury via New York Observer]
Years ago, in my early 20s, I dated a guy named Mike. Now Mike, by all accounts, was heterosexual. Perhaps you’re thinking, Um, hello? Duh. Of course he was. He was dating you, and you’re a woman. But as any lady in her 20s living in New York can tell you, this doesn’t always guarantee straightness. No. It does not. However, Mike seemed thoroughly, authentically hetero. And as evidence of that fact – and just to get down to the nitty-gritty of it – I offer you the following: He had a healthy sexual appetite and, more to the point, he really enjoyed the performance of The Oral Sex. And more to the point, he was unfailingly, ahem, aroused after having done so to moi et moi’s lady-bits.
So this one night, Straight Mike and I were enjoying a couple of post-coital drinks and chitting and chatting, and I – in a pathetic if nonetheless truthful attempt to make him think me more worldly than I was/am – mentioned having made out with a girl in college. I said, “Well, there was this month in college when I kept making out with my friend Barbara.”
I expected him to tell me how edgy, original, and adventurous this was, but instead, he went, “Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I guess I never think that stuff’s that big a deal. I mean, well, I sucked this guy’s dick, like … last year I guess it was?” Keep reading »
I can’t stop looking at these photos from the Ningbo Yamei toy factory in China. The company produces 13 different models of blow-up dolls.They sold more than 50,000 dolls last year alone. Oh, and vibrators too. If you were wondering how your inflatable or vibrating date is manufactured, these photos should demystify the process for you. Yes, this is a boob in process. Spray painted areolas are terribly sexy, aren’t they? Warning: even though these body parts are plastic, they are still NSFW. [Buzzfeed]
Okay, someone please tell me what a $1,500, 55-gallon vat of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant can be used for. Usually a dollop will do ya. Fifty-five gallons seems beyond excessive. When you’re done explaining that, please look at the “customers who viewed this item also viewed” section. The “Accoutrement Horse Head Mask,” I understand. But I need to know what you do with a “Fresh Whole Rabbit” and a “Scientific Testicle Self Exam Form.” I am frightened. [Buzzfeed]
When my friend asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a “Passion Party,” I said “Absolutely!” Whether or not I was in the market for adult toys was beside the point—I’m always in the market for a good laugh.
But surprisingly, what we got was more than a case of the giggles, a taste of chocolate-raspberry flavored lip gloss, and a penis-shaped pen (which I should probably take out of my purse before it falls out and announces itself to my co-workers). We got a lesson in confidence, self-care, and even chemistry, too. Read more …
One sex toy company wants to service the men and women who serve our country. Adult toy company RealTouch is looking to donate thousands of male masturbator systems to military families. Their award-winning electronic vagina can be hooked up to a computer and synched with the action of one’s favorite porno. But instead of creating a virtual porn, the owners of RealTouch have developed new software that allows the masturbator to synch up with an electronic dildo via the internet. So basically, deployed partners can have e-sex with their S.O.s back home in real time. Sounds rather confusing logistically, but a great idea. RealTouch is still waiting to get the military’s approval. Something tells me that’s going to be difficult. [Digg]
Whether you’re in the 99 percent or the 1 percent, sex is the one thing that unifies us all. It’s not like the richest people on earth can upgrade to platinum genitals that fire aphrodisiac darts, right? Right?
Well, no they can’t. But it turns out that rich people have access to all sorts of insane sex toys that the rest of us had no idea even existed. So the next time you see a celebrity or political sex scandal in the news, there’s a chance they might have been using … Read more…
April Bonjour, of California (who incidentally has a fantastic porn star name), is suing Pipedream Products Inc. claiming that their vibrator nearly killed her! Bonjour states that she was using the product “in the manner intended,” when a sharp pain led to bleeding so intense she called 911. The poor thing required multiple pints of blood upon arrival at the hospital. Both Bonjour and her son were fearful the injury would kill her (talk about an awkward conversation!). The injury occurred last November, though Bonjour is just now seeking damages in the amount of $25,000. I wonder if the toy in question has been confiscated for inspection of product flaws? Otherwise it may be that Ms. Bonjour had gotten just a bit too creative with her technique. [NY Daily News] Keep reading »
Oh, the joys of family: this weekend my conservative older sister is coming to visit, which means I’ve got to get my act together. Sweep the floor. Hide the Percosets. And for God’s sake, unplug the vibrator. Luckily I have a designated “goodie drawer” where I keep my toys, but in high school I hid my very first vibe amongst my undies and prayed that neither of my parents ever tried to put away my laundry.
Snoopers be snoopin’ and a girl’s gotta be prepared. Here are 13 places you could hide vibrators of all sizes and (probably) not get caught!
Keep reading »