I’d been invited to three adult novelty parties via Facebook. The first two I skipped, but decided the third time was a charm. You see, I’m a scientist, a doctor, with the capacity to deduce conclusive results from my experiments, even failed ones. After my divorce I concluded that a successful relationship requires me to… More »
We’ve had lots of boyfriends who we’ve had to remind to wash their hands before they put them anywhere near our vaginas. Don’t they know that dirty paws cause yeast and bacterial infections, or, on the off chance that he’s been chopping jalepenos, a fucking wildfire down there? These are the kinds of thing that… More »
There are some indignities that your Christmas tree or Chanukah bush should not have to endure. Like having a nut sack dangle from its branches. We appreciate that the “Bauballs” ornament was created to raise money and awareness about testicular cancer, but Santa, and the rest of your family, can surely survive the holiday season… More »
Can’t buy a vibrator (or get a free one?) by your lonesome? A new startup will help! MySecretLuxury.com (NSFW) offers a “concierge service” for sex toys for random Tuesday nights, honeymoons, or even your own 50 Shades Of Grey experience. The site sells sex toys ranging from stripper poles and ben-wah balls to paddles and… More »
Years ago, in my early 20s, I dated a guy named Mike. Now Mike, by all accounts, was heterosexual. Perhaps you’re thinking, Um, hello? Duh. Of course he was. He was dating you, and you’re a woman. But as any lady in her 20s living in New York can tell you, this doesn’t always guarantee… More »
Are you ladies more kinky than you’re admitting? Considering the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, the erotica book burning the laps of lady readers across the country, I’m guessing you gals might be a tad kink-curious. Of course, there is a difference between reading about kinky sex and actually doing it– but both can be… More »
I can’t stop looking at these photos from the Ningbo Yamei toy factory in China. The company produces 13 different models of blow-up dolls.They sold more than 50,000 dolls last year alone. Oh, and vibrators too. If you were wondering how your inflatable or vibrating date is manufactured, these photos should demystify the process for… More »
Okay, someone please tell me what a $1,500, 55-gallon vat of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant can be used for. Usually a dollop will do ya. Fifty-five gallons seems beyond excessive. When you’re done explaining that, please look at the “customers who viewed this item also viewed” section. The “Accoutrement Horse Head Mask,” I understand. But… More »
When my friend asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a “Passion Party,” I said “Absolutely!” Whether or not I was in the market for adult toys was beside the point—I’m always in the market for a good laugh.
But surprisingly, what we got was more than a case of the… More »
One sex toy company wants to service the men and women who serve our country. Adult toy company RealTouch is looking to donate thousands of male masturbator systems to military families. Their award-winning electronic vagina can be hooked up to a computer and synched with the action of one’s favorite porno. But instead of creating… More »
It wouldn’t be Christmas without a bunch of holiday-themed sex toys to get you in the spirit. Well, actually it would. But some people will use any excuse they can to customize sex products. Christmas is no exception. We couldn’t resist rounding up a bunch of the naughtiest stuff out there for you to put… More »
Whether you’re in the 99 percent or the 1 percent, sex is the one thing that unifies us all. It’s not like the richest people on earth can upgrade to platinum genitals that fire aphrodisiac darts, right? Right?
Well, no they can’t. But it turns out that rich people have access to all sorts… More »
For those of you who enjoy getting your cook on, you know that kitchen gadgets and sex toys are hard to tell apart. In honor of Get Bitchin’ In The Kitchen week, we’ve prepared a fun little quiz for you. Click through and see if you can guess if each item is a sex toy… More »
April Bonjour, of California (who incidentally has a fantastic porn star name), is suing Pipedream Products Inc. claiming that their vibrator nearly killed her! Bonjour states that she was using the product “in the manner intended,” when a sharp pain led to bleeding so intense she called 911. The poor thing required multiple pints of blood… More »
Oh, the joys of family: this weekend my conservative older sister is coming to visit, which means I’ve got to get my act together. Sweep the floor. Hide the Percosets. And for God’s sake, unplug the vibrator. Luckily I have a designated “goodie drawer” where I keep my toys, but in high school I hid… More »
Leave it to geeks to figure out a way to combine sex toys and the Internet. Googlher is a Google-powered vibrator that plugs into your computer and vibrates like a “bullet vibrator” with the help of the Googlher Firefox Add-on.
Sounds overly complicated to me. I firmly believe that masturbation should not threaten… More »
If you wanna put something in your a**hole, you may as well use an a**hole, right? The Assama bin Laden butt plug is a lovely, pink-hued rendering of Osama bin Laden. If sticking this terrorist where the sun don’t shine is still too good for him, you are in luck. CelebrityButt-Plugs.com has many other fine… More »
Okay, false advertising. No actual Czech beauty queens actually get spanked in this story. But the lovely ladies in the Miss Czech 2011 pageant were sternly warned they could be disqualified after photos appeared of them playing with sex toys, including handcuffs. Kinky Czech beauty queens are just about the only beauty queens I can… More »
I whip my hair belt back and forth! Well, I would if I had this combination belt and cat of nine tails. Hint, hint, boy toys! But you don’t have to bend over to purchase this kinky item. Made by dirty designer Incoqnito, it retails for a mere 89 bones. Think of it as an… More »