My article Top 5 Mistakes Men Make in Bed received a lot of attention. Most of the comments (or complaints) came from men. Some men found the article helpful, others reacted defensively and some men were simply hostile and rude.
But the most common comment came in the form of “What about the women?” A lot of men felt picked on and asked that I give equal time to men’s complaints about women. Fair enough. So, I did an informal query among a handful of men to learn the top five mistakes women make in bed and the results are below. But, before I give you the list, I have a few disclaimers.
First, please note I am a woman and not a man. I therefore went to men for their input. This list represents the most common complaints made and does not represent every man’s experience nor is this list the result of a sound empirical research study. Second, as with my first article, the information is offered with the intent to stimulate communication between partners, not to create any shame, wrong-doing or blame. Our sexuality is complex. And just as any relationship requires on-going inquiry, communication, negotiation and attention, so does your intimate sexual relationship. Read more …
Have a pounding a headache? New research suggests skipping the painkillers and choosing a natural remedy: sex.
A study published in Cephalalgia, the journal of the International Headache Society, reveals more than half of migraine sufferers who had sex during an attack experienced an improvement in symptoms, and 20% were left without any pain at all.
Previous research has shown sex may be causing headaches, but neurologists say that because getting busy triggers the release of endorphins, which act on the central nervous system, intercourse is a natural way to reduce or abort headaches.
According to The Daily Mail, the hypothalamus region of the brain is active during a cluster headache, and the same area shows activity during orgasm.
So, what else can sex cure? Take a look at the list below and start treating your ailments.
. Need to relax?Look no further than the bedroom. In a Scottish study, men and women were placed in stressful situations and told to keep records of their sexual activity. People who had recorded having intercourse responded better to stress, reports Web MD. Read more…
Men’s orgasms may never be as intense as the screaming, multiple orgasms that many women are capable of. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t be better than average or even earth-shattering, mind-blowing, toe-curling, etc.
Just like with women, there are psychological, emotional and physical things that contribute to the quality of a man’s orgasm. Every guy is, of course, different, but here are 6 tips that will up the intensity that don’t involve cough drops, donuts or or other bizarre gimmicks. Keep reading »
“I have a shopping fetish!”
“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”
“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”
You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a week your entire life. These sorts of comments drive me bonkers, because those people are not really referring to fetishes.
Instead, they’re misusing the word “fetish” to describe anything they really like, instead of something that sexually turns them on. I imagine it might be the same way gay folks would feel when a straight-person says to their same-sex friend “I’m gay for you,” when really they just mean their friend is a good buddy.
This is a subject we could all stand to know more about. Obviously I am not a psychologist or a medical expert of any kind; I’m just a woman with a spanking fetish who is researching official information on the subject on Google and including my own experiences and tips. I highly recommend visiting a sex-positive therapist, specifically a sex therapist, for a professional consult and to sort this stuff out if you or a loved one have a fetish or paraphilia.
But for a basic 101 on fetishes and paraphilia, here are some commonly asked questions and answers:
Keep reading »
At the age of three, I already didn’t want to be a girl. I saw from watching my mom what it was like to be a grown-up girl and it didn’t look good. Here are the few memories from childhood that I hadn’t managed to suppress:
We came home once to find our apartment ransacked by burglars. I was forced to drink powdered milk everyday, which I hated. My dad chasing my mom with a big knife into the kitchen. My brother and I, who were kneeling facing the wall as punishment for who-knows-what, turned and watched them run by. Screaming. My dad coming in the bathroom interrupting me and my brother taking a shower together. He came in to punish my brother, hitting him on the butt. My brother remembers us hiding under the dining table while chairs were being thrown around. Apparently my dad used to bring women home, even when my mom was home.
Needless to say I was a sad little kid. By the time I escaped to the U.S. at age six I told myself my life starts now and never to look back. Keep reading »
I knew “Downton Abbey” was more than a period soap opera the moment we discovered Thomas was having an affair with the Duke of Crowborough. Scandalous! Of course, it all fell apart when Thomas tried to blackmail the Duke with their love letters. Bad move, Thomas. “Downton Abbey” may take place in the early 1900′s, but the Lords, Ladies and their staff have a lot to teach us about amorous matters. Indeed they do. In honor of tonight’s season three premiere of “Downton Abbey,” here are nine sex lessons we’ve learned from both those upstairs and those downstairs… Keep reading »
The Kama Sutra is the world’s most famous guide to the art of love. But it’s an ancient Hindu text that’s about over 2,000 years old. It’s time someone updated it with the latest advances in bedroom fun that can be had.
Have you and your partner ever done it Gangnam Style? Tried the honey badger? How about the Zuckerberg plunge?
If not, time to school yourself! Read more…
Are you bored in the bedroom? Becoming more sexually assertive can be one of the easiest and fastest ways to get more of what you want from your sex life. If you are ready to take ownership of your pleasure and turn up the heat between the sheets, here are a few simple tips that can empower you to create the pleasurable sexual experiences you deserve and desire.
1. Own your pleasure. Know your body is a necessity when it comes to fulfilling sexual experiences. You cannot rely on your partner to “get it right” because you’ll often be left disappointed. Your pleasure is your job and that is even the case when with a partner; knowing what you want and being able to share it is the best way to get the job done. Read more…
Scientists have confirmed that chocolate contains an enzyme that can set off the pleasure centers of the brain in a manner that is similar to the effect sex has on the brain … which is why when some women are too tired for one, they’ll reach for the other — “Not tonight, honey, I’ll have a Hershey’s Kiss instead.”
But what if she’s not tired? What if she’s just plain bored, or not interested in a sex life that isn’t what she imagined? Or maybe it’s not her, but her man sitting on the bed with his stash of M&Ms? This can be prevented, but it takes more than just avoiding the candy aisle at the supermarket. That’s why we’ve put together a list of the five most common barriers to a healthy sex life. If any of these look familiar to you, there is a way out. Read more…
Everyone has a few bad habits. Are yours related to sex? Here are some sexual habits to consider breaking right away:
1. Having sex only in the dark. Unless you’ve lied about your gender, you have nothing to hide during sex. He can feel your body, and he’s been looking at it since you met. If he really disliked it, you wouldn’t be making love right now. So relax and free your body from the prison of darkness.
If the glare of stadium lights isn’t appealing, try a few candles instead. A light in the hallway or bathroom outside the bedroom can be gentle, too. Remember, just because you don’t like one or more parts of your body doesn’t mean he won’t. If you’re baffled, ask him exactly what he likes about the body part that offends you — and believe him. Read more…