There’s no easier way to make the person you’re bedding feel awesome like a well-timed, sincere, creative, thoughtful compliment. Guys and gals, WE DO NOT DO THIS ENOUGH. Not only does complimenting someone in the sack make them feel good, but it can also communicate specifics about your desires, break down barriers and open a dialogue for future freakiness. In this episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I review just some of compliments you should consider giving during future fuck sessions.
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Show us a man who doesn’t want more blowjobs, and we will show you…a man we’ve never met. Guys, we are picking up all the hints (even the ones you think are super subtle). We know that if it were realistic, you would like us to blow you all day and night (well, for 4 hours and 19 minutes to be exact), and trust us, we’re probably obliging as often as we can. But if you find yourself chronically blowjob-less and aren’t sure why, well, we must be blunt: the problem’s not us, it’s you. There are many ways that guys sabotage their chances for a little oral action, many of which are easily fixable. Here are a few of them… Keep reading »
In my two-part travel sex episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I rather cynically declared that the entire male population of New York City is unfuckable. That, I am willing to admit, was a bit of an exaggeration. Or at least I hope that it is, because I’ve decided that it’s impractical and silly to rely on my relatively infrequent travel schedule as the only opportunity I take to get laid. Therefore, I’m in the market for a fuck buddy, aka someone to sex on the regular without commitment. While I keep my eye peeled for possible candidates, I’m reminding myself, and now you, of six very important rules for having a successful friends with benefits relationship. Watch above!
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Cosmo is well on its way to owning the “food/sex experimentation” beat. First, Anna Breslaw attempted to masturbate on the NYC subway while eating a gyro, and now Mark Shrayber tried to use pizza as a “sex toy.” (At least it happened in the privacy of his own home.) The phrase “pizza as a sex toy” is probably conjuring images of mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce stuck to a thatch of pubic hair. Let me explain in more detail how one uses pizza as a “sex toy.” Hint: it’s not so different from the man who used a Domino’s Pizza as a gloryhole and burnt his penis or the teen who recently posted a video of himself fucking a hot pocket. Pizza sex is en trende, peeps! Keep reading »
Have you ever noticed that most of your traditional efforts to catch a guy’s interest (high heels, red lipstick, and such) go unnoticed, but on the day you drag yourself to the drug store for cold medicine, in pajamas, with unwashed hair and a crusty nose, you have to swat potential suitors away with a stick? One thing’s for sure: we’ll never truly understand the things that turn guys on. We shouldn’t try tot make sense of their love of unkempt bikini lines and vagina sweat (although we are sensing a general cavewoman theme), we should just go with it. From burping to unwashed hair, here are some things that we never expected to turn guys on, but, for some reason, have totally gotten them all revved up. Go figure. Keep reading »
Martha Stewart, the original domestic diva, did an Ask Me Anything Q&A on Reddit today, fielding questions about homemaking, cleaning, etiquette, cooking and her personal life. As you might expect, the always gracious but opinionated Martha took a hard stance against such things as tattoos (“I would not EVER, EVER deface my body with tattoos”), online dating (“Old news”) and truffle oil (“It is ruinous of most recipes”), but evaded answering questions about her past, specifically her time in prison. She did, however, answer one fan’s request for sex advice. Keep reading »