I’m sure this will come as a shock, but I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve had a handful of serious relationships, a few regular fuck buddies over the years, and, well, enough one-night stands that I could probably write petition for a grant and write a sex study based on my personal experiences. Instead, I’ll share my findings directly with you! In this episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I’m breaking down just some of the things I’ve learned from having one-night stands.
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If there are a million ways to do something wrong, there should be at least a few ways to do a thing right. In this series, Janet and Emily tackle your questions from two different perspectives. The result, we hope, is two right answers.
Janet is a stone-cold rationalist, baker, and monotreme from Australia. Her boobs played the field briefly before marrying themselves off to a skier-dude. Emily is from the Midwest, and is a single, straight, agnostic, whiskey-drinking softball player who’d love to use her Pinterest wedding board before all the pics go out of style. Both Janet and Emily are writers and comedians in New York.
I live with my Mom and Dad (still), so every time my boyfriend and I have sex we do it at my boyfriend’s house. Well, he lives with roommates and always seems to initiate sex when there are other people around. The walls are thin, so he is trying to be discreet, but it has become really obvious when we are having sex because he plays music loudly to drown out any noise. On the one hand, I like music to get in the mood. But it’s also weird to me that people will hear it and know it’s the “special” music — like will they associate Chris Isaac with nookie because it broadcast the fact we were getting busy in the next room? I am not embarrassed about sex, but I would like a little more discretion for everyone involved. – Not Looking For An Audience Keep reading »
Perfectly good sex can be ruined by really bad manners. There is an unwritten code of sex conduct, follow it, and your partner will likely be a repeat customer, break it, and you may screw the likelihood of boning again. In this episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I’ll review just a few examples of bad manners in the bedroom that could get you kicked to the curb.
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As much as we love sex, and are usually down to have it pretty much whenever, there are times when intercourse simply isn’t on the menu, for many reasons ranging from menstrual cramps to cold weather. But don’t ever think you need not forgo intimacy just because sex isn’t happening! Cracking each other’s toes can be incredibly intimate, not to mention satisfying as hell. Here are some other pleasurable ways to bond as a couple without putting P in V. Keep reading »
What with the recession, welfare cuts and increasing financial inequality it can be difficult to know how to make ends meet. I’ve got some advice for you which might seem controversial: empower yourself through porn.
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At this point, you’ve probably seen the footage and Instagram pics of the really drunk couple who were caught fucking up against Dunkin’ Donuts dumpster in a shopping center near the University of Delaware campus. The height of romance! As if the now infamous couple weren’t publicly shamed enough for their poor choice of sex location on St. Patty’s Day, authorities are looking for them because, well, having sex against a dumpster in broad daylight is considered a “lewd act.”
We’re all for having an adventurous sex life and we understand first hand how easy it is to err in judgement while highly intoxicated, and YET, dumpster sex, no matter how horny or wasted is just wrong. For future reference, here are some other places too disgusting to do it. Keep reading »