You never need an elaborate explanation to turn down sex. “I’m not in the mood” or “I don’t want to” are perfectly acceptable — no further details necessary. But usually there’s a more specific reason we don’t want to hit it. Often it has nothing to do with you and your inherent sexiness. Like, we had brussels sprouts for lunch and our lower abdomen feels like a Whoopee cushion about to explode. That’s an awfully awkward thing to have say out loud. But maybe it will help you to know the truth. Here are some more really embarrassing reasons we say no sex. Nothing personal. We swear. We’ll be ready to go again after we’ve spent 24 hours farting in our bed…alone. Keep reading »
When a relationship is new, lovemaking feels as natural and spontaneous as sunrise. Sex just seems to happen — at midnight, between the main course and dessert, just before going out for the evening. But after years of marriage, mortgages, and maternity leave, it can fall off the Things I’m Dying to Do list and join the Things I Really Ought to Do list — right under “start diet” and “flood-proof kids’ rooms.” You know you’re always purring with happiness when you do have a romantic romp with your partner, but finding the time, energy, and even the desire can become elusive. Read more at Your Tango…
The condom broke or –shame on you! — you didn’t use a condom and something is itchy/burning/funky down there. We’re not judging you. What’s done is done. There’s no use in freaking yourself out to the point of a nervous breakdown. There’s no to spend hours on the web Googling “red bumps” and “discharge.” Don’t fall down the self-diagnosis wormhole. It’s a scary place to be. The best case scenario? It’s nothing serious. We’re definitely not doctors and we highly recommend you see your gynecologist or go to the local clinic right away if you think you might have a sexually transmitted infection. But in the interim, we urge you not to panic. Here are a few other things that might be going on down there (from real women who have experienced them all): Keep reading »
Seasons have changed, which means it’s time to freshen up your sex routine. No more sweaty, summer romps on the menu. Onward to fall, the season of snuggling, s’mores, and Jack O’ Lanterns…which make great… OH! You’ll just have to click though and see what kind of dirty things we dreamed up for you to do with a pumpkin. Here are some totally fun (and slightly ridiculous) sex games to keep your bedroom nice and toasty this autumn.
[Photo from Shutterstock]
Couples who engage in kink in the bedroom are happier and more secure in their relationships, according to a study cited in the October issue of Cosmopolitan. Girl, you don’t have to tell me this! BDSM sex, when it is safe, sane and consensual, is pretty amazing for all partners.
But hold up for a second. This article was in … Cosmo?! Yes, really, it was. Cosmopolitan has a well-deserved and iconic place in pop culture history as a place for women to read sex tips, but definitely is not known as the forefront of kink.
Even if the magazine didn’t talk about safe words or the difference between kink and abuse, I appreciate they are trying to include more types of alternative sexuality in their almost-always vanilla and heteronormative sex tips. So I took a look at Cosmo‘s “12 Kinky Quickies” article with a critical eye. Here are my bonafide kinky assessments on their recommended moves: Keep reading »
When I first began to put together the puzzle of my sexuality, the revelation that I had a rare fetish touched off a cascade of feelings. It began with relief, as I had finally figured out why penis-in-vagina sex had never worked for me. Later there was fear, as I wondered whether my desires were even safe to carry out in real life. But after a few months, everything had settled into a baseline of pure frustration.
It turns out that I’m into feederism—a fetish that revolves around fat, overeating, and weight gain. Four years of high-school sex-ed left me woefully unprepared for the reality of having unusual sexual needs, and in the beginning, I was almost entirely alone while trying to figure out such basic things as how to find the porn or how exactly to go about realizing my fantasies. For many years, I didn’t even know what keywords to type into Google in order to find the kind of porn I dreamed about (“fat,” unsurprisingly, tends to lead more to diet tips than videos of good-looking men joyfully eating entire cakes). When my girlfriends got together to compare notes on their sex lives, what was normal to them was no help to me at all. Even when I finally discovered a group of people that I was comfortable talking about my fetish with, I was still the only person in a group of 30 that had these particular needs. To that end, here are some of the things I wish I’d known when I discovered I had a fetish: Keep reading »