You don’t always get what you want, my friends. And that’s especially prescient advice for porno fans, who it seems are clamoring for a Mila Kunis sex tape. Yes, Kunis — not Jessica Biel or Kate Upton or Megan Fox or Rihanna — tops the list of celebs they’d most like to see in a porno. The survey, conducted by porn purveyors XCritic.com and Vivid Entertainment (both totally NSFW, of course), put Kunis on top (sorry) with 38 percent of the vote. Jennifer Lawrence came in second with 23 percent. Others on the list included Sofia Vergara (15 percent), Angelina Jolie (13 percent) and Selena Gomez (about 10 percent).
Porn audiences are very fickle. Apparently last month, J.Law topped the survey. And while we very much doubt that a Mila Kunis or Jennifer Lawrence sex tape will ever be forthcoming, we were curious as to why Kunis suddenly shot up the ranks. Here are a few guesses: Keep reading »
Hello, Child Protective Services? “Teen Mom” and erstwhile porn star Farrah Abraham told a radio station that she’s saved a “baby box” for her toddler Sophia, which she plans to hand over when her daughter is “around 13 or 14, gets her period and is like ‘Oh, I kinda want a boyfriend.’” In it, she’s got all the episodes of “Teen Mom,” her book, and … the porno she filmed with James Deen. Or, as Farrah insists on calling it, her “sex tape.” Why, you might ask, would a 7th or 8th grade girl want to watch a porn film starring her mother? Farrah doesn’t have an explanation herself, but she seems to think that getting one’s period is a sign of advanced sexual maturity and not just, like, part of puberty. There’s nothing wrong with filming a porn, or being a sex worker, and also being a parent. There’s nothing wrong with being a teen parent, either. What is wrong is involving your kid in that confusing (and frankly, gross — no kid wants to know about their mom’s sex life!) realm before the kid is mature enough to mentally and emotionally process it. While I can admire Farrah’s stance as a parent that “I do not hide things,” she obviously isn’t thinking with her Responsible Parenting Cap on with this one. [Celebitchy] [Photo: Pacific Coast News]
UPDATE: I have since viewed 40+ minute scene from “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom” and have additional thoughts!
Last night, in the name of journalism — okay, I was bored and horny — I decided to take one for the team (that would be you guys, my beloved Frisky readers) and hopped in bed to masturbate while watching the 5:12 clip from Farrah Abraham’s sex tape, “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom.” Or, rather, I attempted to masturbate to it. But I’ll get to that in a second…
Yesterday afternoon, I sort of half-assed watched the clip from Farrah and James’ porn and mostly felt uncomfortable because I was at work and I usually don’t like starring at unfamiliar vagina as my coworkers eat lunch around me. But I must admit, I was curious to give the video a closer looksie at home. Though I am a Manuel Ferrara loyalist, James Deen has, hands down, the best sex growl in the biz. His baby-faced boyishness makes it all the more surprising and hot when he breaks out the dirty talk and tit slapping. So, hey, a new James Deen scene to watch? Who cares if his costar is a “Teen Mom”? If she’s good enough for James Deen, she’s fine by me!
Around midnight last night, I kicked my dog Lucca out of bed and on to the couch (nothing distracts from a good solo sex sesh like a puppy trying to curl up under the covers), got out my laptop and my Jimmy Jane vibe, flicked out the lights for, you know, ambiance, hopped in bed and pressed play. Keep reading »
So, you’re on a reality TV show about expectant teen mothers. That’s great and all, especially since you’ve managed to parlay that into a stint on the follow up show, “Teen Mom.” But how do you take your fame to the next level?
Erstwhile porn star Farrah Abraham knows. For the past three years, she’s worked her way through Twitter feuds, a music career, literary aspirations and DUIs to reach this moment — a million dollar porn tape called “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom,” with “indie” porn star James Deen. It really doesn’t get much better than this.
So take a lesson from Farrah — and follow her path to super stardom in these nine easy steps.
That “private” Farrah Abraham and James Deen sex tape is here to ruin lunch for us all! From a blowjob, to P-in-V sex, to the “back door” anal sex as promised, we see James and Farrah in all kinds of clearly-planned-in-advance-for-Vivid fun. Farrah’s her usual nasally, kinda ditzy self but you’ll never look at “Teen Mom” the same way again. For some reason, this sex tape is especially uncomfortable. (Though I beg to disagree with her allegation that Deen is rocking a small penis. There’s a reason this guy is a professional porn star.) You can watch an edited clip above and the full 5-minute clip here. It’s very NSFW. Like, don’t get it twisted, it is straight up hardcore pornography.
Now excuse me while I go try and burn the image of Farrah Abraham’s anus from my mind. I need to “Enternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” that shit.
Tanning Mom is ready to ditch the bows and get down to business. TMZ obtained an email sent by Patricia Krentcil to Vivid Entertainment’s president, Steve Hirsch, shamelessly propositioning him to produce her sex tape:
“I see you are trying to buy this sex tape from this Teen Mom. Well, if you REALLY want to make more MONIES, then I would agree to let you film me and all my hotness … I am far MORE popular and WAY HOTTER than Farrah! Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper … Contact me back if you’re ready to talk serious cash and rock the world.”
Keep reading »