Let’s be honest: sex is not always the softly focused oxytocin bath that Cosmopolitan magazine spreads make it out to be. Sometimes sex is a romp on dirty sheets with a grabby guy who’s got terrible body odor and zero condoms.
But hey, bad sex is still sex. And if you are horny as we are at The Frisky, you’ll take the bull by the horns anyway because you know there’s a way to troubleshoot most any sexual snaffoo. I am not a sex therapist, but I am a woman who’s has wide variety of sex with a decent number of dudes and have encountered all these problems. (For more in-depth sexual troubleshooting, I recommend the kickass sex guide, Guide To Getting It On.)
After the jump, a thorough, honest (and heteronormative, cause I’m a straight lady who sleeps with dudes) guide to troubleshooting bad sex.
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Rest assured, everyone: oral sex is not bad for you. TV evangelist Pat Robertson decrees it to be so! He was speaking strictly to a married man and woman, so the jury is still out on the morality of us
strumpets single girls going down. Nevertheless, we are somewhat comforted by his logic that “It’s what’s in your mind … if to you it’s sin, it’s sin.” (Now if he could just apply that same logic to the gays.) We are eagerly waiting for Pat Robertson’s thoughts on anal. [YouTube]
Gillian Anderson just made “X-Files” fans cream their pants yet again: the actress told Out Magazine that she had a relationship with a girl throughout high school! But she is more comfortable calling herself a bisexual, or perhaps using no label, because her subsequent relationships have been with dudes. She also says because she knew she was attracted to men, so she didn’t feel especially stigmatized. “If I had thought I was 100 percent gay, would it have been a different experience for me? Would it have been a bigger deal if shame had been attached to it and all those things that become huge life-altering issues for youngsters in that situation?” Anderson said. ”It’s possible that my attitude around it came, on some level, from knowing that I still liked boys.” She also added in Out, “I don’t think I’ve ever followed convention by choice. By default, maybe, but not by choice.” Call yourself whatever you want, Gillian — we are girl-crushing so hard. [New York Post, Out]
Gillian Anderson isn’t the first lady to confess to a lesbian affair. After the jump, meet seven more ladies with Sapphic inclinations.
Dr. Drew Pinsky is utterly clueless about about bondage, dominance, and sadomascochism in relationships and has no business discussing them on national television. That is my conclusion after seeing Dr. Drew brought in as an “expert,” and yes those air quotes are intentional, on “The Today Show” recently to discuss the book 50 Shades Of Grey. As you may have heard, the explicit, erotic BDSM romance novel about a dominant/submissive relationship has become extremely popular with women across the country — slightly surprising considering how being whipped and spanked is not everyone’s cup of tea. I have not read 50 Shades myself yet, but I’ve read numerous other BDSM novels, short stories, and true-life tales, and I’ve been in consensual submissive/dominant relationships since the age 18 or 19. So I can say with 110 percent confidence that he does not know what he is talking about and Dr. Drew actually did a huge disservice to women and men when he called the book “actual violence against women.” Keep reading »
There are lots of things one should not do in college, such as eat ramen noodles for every meal 16 weeks straight, but that does not stop most of us from doing it anyway. Several colleges are trying to put the kibosh on at least one at-times ill-advised decision: a ban on professors banging their students. The New York Post reported this weekend that the City University of New York (CUNY) has proposed a tightening of its sexual harassment policy to ban sexual relationships between professors and “students for whom they have professional responsibility.” Teacher/student hookups are currently “strongly discouraged” in the policy, but the faculty senate and legal counsel both say they should be banned. Columbia University, also in New York, is finalizing a similar ban on professor/student relationships this month. Keep reading »
Bad news, ladies: the world will never see what Senate John Edwards is packing because the sex tape between he and his former mistress Rielle Hunter will be destroyed. Bummer! Keep reading »
“There’s this experience I have repeatedly which is so symbolic. I work for this big company, Vivid Entertainment, and you walk in the second floor, the editing suite, and there are anywhere between five and eight men, sitting in front of computer screens, watching naked women have sex. I am the only woman in the room, and I am the only woman with clothes on. And that sort of says it all, right? I’m interrupting this hetero-normative male-dominated space. All of a sudden I show up, and all the women they’ve been interacting with for the past eight hours have been naked and moaning and I am not doing either of those things! So I feel like it’s symbolic of the industry, because, in fact, I am a total minority as a woman, and even more so as an out queer woman and as an out feminist. Ultimately, the people who are in my bubble, my production crew, the performers that I work with, everyone at Vivid, is 100 percent awesome; they really support my work, they believe in it, they get it, if they don’t get it, they trust me enough to go do what I want to do.”
— Feminist pornographer Tristan Taormino (also the author of The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women, amongst other books!) on what it’s like to be a woman who makes pornography in a male-dominated industry. Vivid Entertainment is the same company that offered big bucks to royal embarrassments Pippa and James Middleton and the woman with two vaginas — so it may not the classiest company out there, but at least they’re evolved enough to have hired a sex-positive feminist with a decent idea what other people —women, who’ve have thunk? — want from their porn. Keep reading »
“I love a bit of drama. That’s a bad thing. I can flip really quickly. I am not bipolar, but I go from ‘Oh, my God, I love you’ to ‘Get the fuck out of my house!’ really quickly. And I never sit there and talk about it. I give them the silent treatment. They’re like, ‘Tell me what I’ve done so I can say sorry!’ What else? It used to be that I loved a drink a bit too much. But I don’t drink no more. The good things: I am attentive. I will do anything for my man. I am a good cook. I’m funny. Always want to have sex.”
Further proof Adele is a girl after our own heart. (As if we needed it.) She also pronounces with the word “f**k” as “fack,” insists she is “wifey material,” and says she will never write another breakup album again because “I’m done with being a bitter witch.” LOVE. HER. [Vogue]
Even though some conservatives only believe in sex for procreation, that doesn’t stop 53 percent of self-identified Republican women from reaching “the big O” when they get it on. A new study conducted by Match.com found that single conservative Republican ladies reported having more fulfilling sex lives than their left-wing counterparts. Keep reading »