Sometimes I feel bad about wild animals enclosed in zoos. But I feel slightly less bad for Gina, a chimpanzee at the Seville Zoo in Spain, who spends her days watching porn on TV.
Gina’s TV has lots of different channels, but the only ones that this frisky primate watches are the ones rated “adult entertainment.”
Chimps are, of course, one of the closest cousins to humans; we share 90 percent of our DNA with them.
That information should, I hope, make Salon.com writer Issac Abel, 23, feel slightly better: Abel published an essay this weekend about how he came of age masturbating to internet porn and now he’s having difficulties getting sexy with real, live women who don’t fulfill his fantasies quite like those on set. Keep reading »
A New York City woman is suing a “major Republican fundraiser” after he gave her herpes. What a catch! Not only did he give big bucks to Mitt Romney, but he refused to wear a condom or inform her he had an STD. The New York Daily News reports they dated for two years until she found out that he was allegedly cheating on her and knew that he had contracted the STD. Now this poor woman has herpes for the rest of her life. Keep reading »
Ever rolled over in the morning to snuggle your dude and got jabbed in the belly button? Thought so. That’s because all men experience “noctural penile tumescence,” AKA morning wood. As the folks as ASAP Science explain above, morning wood has to do with REM sleep, a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, and even the dude’s bladder. I used to think men just awoke horny because I’m so damn sexy! Sadly, the cold, hard truth is less flattering. (Did you see what I did there?) [Towel Road]
The New York Times Style section usually emits more groans from me than cheers. Remember that piece about how bangs are “in”? And how women wear dresses? So I was ecstatic this week to see the Modern Love essay is by Jillian Keenan, a woman with a spanking fetish who is struggling to come out about it to her boyfriend. The essay touched on the struggles female spankos face from a judgmental and/or misunderstanding public, namely that we all must have suffered sexual abuse (not true) or must be gravely damaged in some way (also not true). And I was particularly delighted that 50 Shades Of Grey got only a brief mention. Keep reading »
If you thought vagina dentata was the biggest fear to worry about in bed, you are sadly wrong, my friend. There is a whole host of sexual phobias that could be lurking in your psyche. The general term is “erotophobia”: fear of all things related to sex. There are specific subdivisions to address various fears of kissing, shrinkage and even ladyparts. And I’m not talking about ladyparts with teeth in them, either! But just like those bedbugs you picked up from that hostel in Budapest, they can’t bother you if you don’t get them in the first place.
Let’s get right to the point. This is the lede of an article in Cosmopolitan‘s October 2012 issue: “Julie, 29, has amazing orgasms. The catch? They’re with her vacuum cleaner.”
Julie*, whose name has been changed of course, continues:
One time, I was straddling it and noticed it felt good. The intense vibrations against my clitoris sent me over the edge and it’s become the only way I can get off.
Keep reading »
How are babies and BDSM related, you ask? The answer is the new 50 Shades of Grey baby onesies found on Etsy.com. Your baby will be sure to turn heads wearing these white ensembles, sporting phrases like “9 months ago mommy read Fifty Shades of Grey,” or “all mommy wanted was a night with Mr. Grey.” I pity the child who grows up and sees baby pictures dressed up in poorly written erotica-inspired attire! [Gothamist]
This weekend, the worst thing ever happened. And by the worst thing ever, I mean a used condom landed on top of my cell phone.
O’Boyfriend and I were, uhhhh, using a condom. And then we were done using the condom. And then because I didn’t want it or its contents spilling on my bedsheets, I suggested he throw it in the wastepaper basket. So LeBron James over here tossed it in the direction of the trash … and it landed on top of my iPhone. Keep reading »
I don’t know what else is going on in Pub 500 in Mankato, Minnesota, but apparently it’s enough to warrant the installation of the “first ever” pregnancy test vending machine in the ladies’ room. I’m kidding, actually: it was not Pub 500 that installed the pee sticks for their lady patrons — they came courtesy of Healthy Brains For Children, which seeks to reduce fetal alcohol syndrome in kids. Women can buy pregnancy tests for $3 in dispensers similar to the ones that sell tampons and pads. The group hopes that more women will learn if they are pregnant before getting their bun in the oven totally sauced. Eventually the group hopes to install the vending machines in malls, gas stations and gyms as well. The ladies room location seems weird to me and possibly has the potential of causing more problems than it solves. Like, I can just see drunk couples at the bar getting into arguments over “Oh my God, are you pregnant? Why did you just buy a pregnancy test in the bathroom?” kind of stuff. And I’m especially confused about the Minnesota location. Shouldn’t this pilot program have been installed in Seaside Heights? [CityPages]