We know you have reservations about reading the hot new BDSM “mommy porn” erotic novel 50 Shades Of Grey in public. What if someone from church sees?! What would your grandma think?! That’s why we couldn’t be more pleased talented voiceover actor Gilbert Gottfried has done the audiobook for 50 Shades. No one has to know you’re listening to a (NSFW!) filthy story about fisting and Anastasia’s slapped clitoris … read in the sultry voice of Iago from “Aladdin.” [Jest.com]
Who’d've thunk? For all Chelsea Handler’s crowing about sleeping with 50 Cent, his ex-girlfriend is none too impressed with his bedroom skills. Shaniqua Tompkins blabbed to the blog Mommys Dirty Little Secret that Fiddy was just “okay” in bed. When asked if she’d sleep with him again, Tompkins said, “No, he’s hard enough to get rid of, that would just make it worse.”
In the same interview, Floyd Mayweather, Jr.’s ex/baby mama Josie Harris also blabbed about her famous bedmate. Harris flat-out trashed Mayweather as “boring in bed,” and said she would only sleep with him “if he had a drink first. Sober Floyd is boring and I like to have fun in bed!” Buuuurn. [Vibe Vixen]
Thanks for the warning, ladies! We’re filing away this important information, in case we’re ever so desperate we need Chelsea Handler’s sloppy seconds or a noted domestic abuser. But these aren’t the only celebrity sex resumes you can find online: we’ve got all the deets on who’s a baller and who’s a blunderer in bed. Oh, Brody Jenner, why are we not the least bit surprised about you?
You can say a lot of things about sex with a Frisky girl, but one thing you can’t say is that we’re stingy. Nope, we’re like Oprah on her “My Favorite Things” episode only with, uh, blowjobs.
However, we are not always so fortunate with the gentlemen with whom we choose to share our beds. I know this will come as a complete shock to you, but there’s some greedy, selfish lovers out there who just take-take-take and then roll over and fall asleep. There’s nothing sadder than a snoring man in your bed and you’re getting yourself off with your vibrator. Nope, not even doggies without legs.
We polled our ladyfriends on this startling phenomenon and here’s the true-life tales of selfish lovers past:
G-spot, in my open letter to you, I warned that if you decided to pop up, you’d better be staying for good. And here you go showing up again, trying to steal all of the attention as always, without making any real commitment to hang around.
Some dude researcher, Dr. Adam Ostrzenski, claims to have conclusively discovered your whereabouts. He dissected an 83-year-old dead lady and found what is described as a “blue, grape-like structure buried deep in the front wall of the vagina.”
That sounds … appealing. Keep reading »
One NYC-branch of sex shop Toys In Babeland is (wisely) capitalizing on the new “mommy porn” 50 Shades Of Grey craze with cocktail party classes teaching Kinky Sex 101. The open-to-the-public classes will be free; the first 25 kinkster guests will go home with a Christian Grey-approved goody bag: a paddle, necktie, satin bondage kit, edible spanking powder (?!), and vibrating nipple clamps. (Yes, really.) Private classes are being held for more exclusive folks; the NYC-based blog Gothamist seems to think Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are attending. Oh, be still, my heart.
It’s silly that Toys In Babeland have to call this a “50 Shades” class instead of what it is — bondage/dominance/sadomasochism, or BDSM — but I guess too many people think a little kink in the bedroom is freaky. But whatever. I’ve already RSVPed and enlisted two girlfriends to come with. [Gothamist]
Let’s be honest: sex is not always the softly focused oxytocin bath that Cosmopolitan magazine spreads make it out to be. Sometimes sex is a romp on dirty sheets with a grabby guy who’s got terrible body odor and zero condoms.
But hey, bad sex is still sex. And if you are horny as we are at The Frisky, you’ll take the bull by the horns anyway because you know there’s a way to troubleshoot most any sexual snaffoo. I am not a sex therapist, but I am a woman who’s has wide variety of sex with a decent number of dudes and have encountered all these problems. (For more in-depth sexual troubleshooting, I recommend the kickass sex guide, Guide To Getting It On.)
After the jump, a thorough, honest (and heteronormative, cause I’m a straight lady who sleeps with dudes) guide to troubleshooting bad sex.
Rest assured, everyone: oral sex is not bad for you. TV evangelist Pat Robertson decrees it to be so! He was speaking strictly to a married man and woman, so the jury is still out on the morality of us strumpets single girls going down. Nevertheless, we are somewhat comforted by his logic that “It’s what’s in your mind … if to you it’s sin, it’s sin.” (Now if he could just apply that same logic to the gays.) We are eagerly waiting for Pat Robertson’s thoughts on anal. [YouTube]
Gillian Anderson just made “X-Files” fans cream their pants yet again: the actress told Out Magazine that she had a relationship with a girl throughout high school! But she is more comfortable calling herself a bisexual, or perhaps using no label, because her subsequent relationships have been with dudes. She also says because she knew she was attracted to men, so she didn’t feel especially stigmatized. “If I had thought I was 100 percent gay, would it have been a different experience for me? Would it have been a bigger deal if shame had been attached to it and all those things that become huge life-altering issues for youngsters in that situation?” Anderson said. ”It’s possible that my attitude around it came, on some level, from knowing that I still liked boys.” She also added in Out, “I don’t think I’ve ever followed convention by choice. By default, maybe, but not by choice.” Call yourself whatever you want, Gillian — we are girl-crushing so hard. [New York Post, Out]
Gillian Anderson isn’t the first lady to confess to a lesbian affair. After the jump, meet seven more ladies with Sapphic inclinations.
Dr. Drew Pinsky is utterly clueless about about bondage, dominance, and sadomascochism in relationships and has no business discussing them on national television. That is my conclusion after seeing Dr. Drew brought in as an “expert,” and yes those air quotes are intentional, on “The Today Show” recently to discuss the book 50 Shades Of Grey. As you may have heard, the explicit, erotic BDSM romance novel about a dominant/submissive relationship has become extremely popular with women across the country — slightly surprising considering how being whipped and spanked is not everyone’s cup of tea. I have not read 50 Shades myself yet, but I’ve read numerous other BDSM novels, short stories, and true-life tales, and I’ve been in consensual submissive/dominant relationships since the age 18 or 19. So I can say with 110 percent confidence that he does not know what he is talking about and Dr. Drew actually did a huge disservice to women and men when he called the book “actual violence against women.” Keep reading »
There are lots of things one should not do in college, such as eat ramen noodles for every meal 16 weeks straight, but that does not stop most of us from doing it anyway. Several colleges are trying to put the kibosh on at least one at-times ill-advised decision: a ban on professors banging their students. The New York Post reported this weekend that the City University of New York (CUNY) has proposed a tightening of its sexual harassment policy to ban sexual relationships between professors and “students for whom they have professional responsibility.” Teacher/student hookups are currently “strongly discouraged” in the policy, but the faculty senate and legal counsel both say they should be banned. Columbia University, also in New York, is finalizing a similar ban on professor/student relationships this month. Keep reading »
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