The New York Times Style section usually emits more groans from me than cheers. Remember that piece about how bangs are “in”? And how women wear dresses? So I was ecstatic this week to see the Modern Love essay is by Jillian Keenan, a woman with a spanking fetish who is struggling to come out about it to her boyfriend. The essay touched on the struggles female spankos face from a judgmental and/or misunderstanding public, namely that we all must have suffered sexual abuse (not true) or must be gravely damaged in some way (also not true). And I was particularly delighted that 50 Shades Of Grey got only a brief mention. Keep reading »
If you thought vagina dentata was the biggest fear to worry about in bed, you are sadly wrong, my friend. There is a whole host of sexual phobias that could be lurking in your psyche. The general term is “erotophobia”: fear of all things related to sex. There are specific subdivisions to address various fears of kissing, shrinkage and even ladyparts. And I’m not talking about ladyparts with teeth in them, either! But just like those bedbugs you picked up from that hostel in Budapest, they can’t bother you if you don’t get them in the first place.
Let’s get right to the point. This is the lede of an article in Cosmopolitan‘s October 2012 issue: “Julie, 29, has amazing orgasms. The catch? They’re with her vacuum cleaner.”
Julie*, whose name has been changed of course, continues:
One time, I was straddling it and noticed it felt good. The intense vibrations against my clitoris sent me over the edge and it’s become the only way I can get off.
Keep reading »
How are babies and BDSM related, you ask? The answer is the new 50 Shades of Grey baby onesies found on Etsy.com. Your baby will be sure to turn heads wearing these white ensembles, sporting phrases like “9 months ago mommy read Fifty Shades of Grey,” or “all mommy wanted was a night with Mr. Grey.” I pity the child who grows up and sees baby pictures dressed up in poorly written erotica-inspired attire! [Gothamist]
This weekend, the worst thing ever happened. And by the worst thing ever, I mean a used condom landed on top of my cell phone.
O’Boyfriend and I were, uhhhh, using a condom. And then we were done using the condom. And then because I didn’t want it or its contents spilling on my bedsheets, I suggested he throw it in the wastepaper basket. So LeBron James over here tossed it in the direction of the trash … and it landed on top of my iPhone. Keep reading »
I don’t know what else is going on in Pub 500 in Mankato, Minnesota, but apparently it’s enough to warrant the installation of the “first ever” pregnancy test vending machine in the ladies’ room. I’m kidding, actually: it was not Pub 500 that installed the pee sticks for their lady patrons — they came courtesy of Healthy Brains For Children, which seeks to reduce fetal alcohol syndrome in kids. Women can buy pregnancy tests for $3 in dispensers similar to the ones that sell tampons and pads. The group hopes that more women will learn if they are pregnant before getting their bun in the oven totally sauced. Eventually the group hopes to install the vending machines in malls, gas stations and gyms as well. The ladies room location seems weird to me and possibly has the potential of causing more problems than it solves. Like, I can just see drunk couples at the bar getting into arguments over “Oh my God, are you pregnant? Why did you just buy a pregnancy test in the bathroom?” kind of stuff. And I’m especially confused about the Minnesota location. Shouldn’t this pilot program have been installed in Seaside Heights? [CityPages]
We all know cuddling is the BEST thing to do with your significant other. But what if your boyfriend, roommate, or stuffed bear just isn’t in the mood? No fear, Jackie Samuels is here! This ingenious 29-year old New York woman now charges fellow snugglers $60 an hour to cuddle. Creator of her own business, called The Snuggery, Samuels firmly states that this is not about sex and that she always liked to cuddle and “it seemed pretty simple to [her].” Well, I know I’ll be ready to shell it out for Samuels whenever my Bear Bear just ain’t feelin’ it one night.
I thought a post about the passing of an adult film actress who was known as the “Queen Of Clown Porn” could be interesting. But the illness and death of Hollie Stevens, age 30, of breast cancer is nothing short of absolutely tragic. Friends say that Stevens had no health insurance and couldn’t access decent health care; a lump on her breast claimed her life barely out of her 20s. Keep reading »
This morning’s alarm clock rudely awoke me from a dream … but not just any dream. A sex dream. And not just any sex dream: it was a sex dream about Anthony Bourdain. You know, the food writer and host of “No Reservations”?
It is news to me that I am sexually attracted to Anthony Bourdain, who I always thought was kind of pompous and obnoxious. (I also had bad service at one of his restaurants on my 25th birthday, so there’s that.) But what was even more bizarre was that whatever we were doing to each other involved makeup brushes.
I woke up confused and just a tad disturbed. So it is time to show these sex dreams who’s boss! Listen up, subconscious: here are seven rules all sex dreams should have to follow. Keep reading »