Dear Huang Jianjun,
I know you take your ghostbusting extremely seriously. Killing ghosts has been your passion since you saw “Ghostbusters” in the ’80s. I’ve always wanted to be supportive of you and your dreams, so I refrained from telling you that I thought your idea to start a ghostbusting business was absurd. What can I say? I was tired of you sitting around all day watching watching succubus porn and drinking Mountain Dew, so I lied and told you to start your business. I wanted that imprint of your ass off my couch. I realize now that was a mistake. You used your business as an excuse to have sex with an unsuspecting woman. And here I was believing that we never had sex anymore because you weren’t “attracted to sentient beings.” Ha! What a fool I was. I suppose you were lying about not being able to get it up because of your diabetes too. Keep reading »
The results are in — after asking you guys to share with us the thing you’d most like to check off your to-do list, we’ve got a winner! Turns out sex with a near stranger is something that we’re all kinda into — check out this piece on using Craigslist for more than just finding an apartment, and be sure to see “The To Do List” starring Aubrey Plaza, in theaters today!
When I was 23, I moved to Seattle from New York City, for no particular reason except that I felt compelled to. When I got there, I was coming down from a pretty irreverent sex life in the Big Apple. I’d just had my first foursome and I was at what you could call a sexual peak. So basically, I was horny all the time.
I moved into a condominium which was like living on Pluto or some planet where I was the only inhabitant. My new condo had an elevator, a gym downstairs, two bathrooms, and a dishwasher. I’d never lived in a nice place before – especially one with a dishwasher — and I truly didn’t know what to do with myself. Keep reading »
I consider it my job (well, I guess it is my job) to track the clusterfuck of sex surveys and data inundating the interwebs and bring you the results. (Because I know you are just sitting around WAITING to find out what kind of car people most like to have a quickie in.) According to a survey of 2,018 adults done by car manufacturer BBA Reman (and why they were doing a sex survey, we’ll never know, but they did), 49 percent of Britons have had sex in a car at least once. OK, not shocking. But wait. Here’s the shocking part: Of those 49 percent who’ve done car sex, 27 percent said their preferred model was a Ford Fiesta, closely followed by a Volkswagon Golf. Seriously? Those are some tiny ass cars. It’s hard to imagine fitting one person in the backseat, let alone two. It’d be like fucking in a pistachio shell. If posed with this question myself, I’d have picked something more like a Hummer, just so I could move my legs, not because I support the gas-guzzling beasts. Keep reading »