Public Service Announcement: if you accidentally lodge a sex toy in one of your orifices, GO TO THE DOCTOR. A 50-year-old London man died this past December from septic shock after he waited five long days to remove a dildo he’d lodged into his rectum. Nigel Willis was too embarrassed to go see a doctor, though he was “dizzy, weak and unable to move,” according to ITV News, A friend finally forced him to see someone, but by that point, the dildo had pierced his bowels, leading to the septic shock. How horrible! I wish Nigel knew that a lot of people worry about losing stuff up there — tampons, condoms, even sex toys — and doctors have seen everrrrrything. Literally, everything. So, please don’t leave things sitting up there (wherever “up there” might be, I don’t judge!). Avoiding five minutes of embarrassment is not worth your life. Plus, you’ll have a really great story for your next round of “Two Truths And A Lie.” [New York Daily News; ITV News] [Image of a doctor via Shutterstock]
Before I used Foria’s Cannabis Lube to get my vagina high for the first time, I had a lot of thoughts running through my head about what it would be like. Is it going to be a high that’s similar to smoking weed? I love smoking weed. Or will it be more of a body high, like when you eat pot brownies? Oh shit, am I going to trip balls? Maybe I shouldn’t do this on a Tuesday. I wonder if it’ll be easier to orgasm when I’m having sex if my vagina is stoned? Ooh, I wonder if my orgasms will be more powerful too. That would be awesome.
The truth is, it’s really kind of difficult to explain what it feels like to get your vagina high. But goddammit, I’m going to try. Keep reading »
When my first love and I broke up, I was still new to the world of sex. I was 22 years old when we said our tearful goodbye, knowing full well that what we had at that young age wouldn’t be able to transcend time. I remember thinking I’d not only never love again, but never, ever have sex again either. Sometimes I really miss the equal parts drama and naivety that comes with youth.
As a way to cope with the loss, I set up camp on my couch with endless supplies of veggie burgers and Ben & Jerry’s, and drowned my sorrows in “Beverly Hills, 90210″ reruns. I still contend that Emily Valentine really was one of the highlights of the show, and I have the months of obsessively watching it as scientific evidence. I also saw a wee bit of myself in her.
After a few years had passed, I started dating men here and there, having superficial flings steeped in alcohol as the common denominator, and by the time I moved to New York City, casual sex was all I was really interested in. It was there for the offering, I knew I enjoyed it, at least most of the time, so why not take advantage of sexual opportunities that life presented me?
Then I fell in love again. Keep reading »
I wish more men were like Nick Gilronan, winner of last year’s Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest (this year’s contest is this Sunday, aka Father’s Day). He is proud of what he’s got between his legs, so much so that he was willing to stand almost naked, wearing just a mankini, in front of a crowd and strut his stuff. He told an interviewer, “The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship,” and I wholeheartedly agree. See, I prefer guys who are a little less endowed, with good reason. Firstly, the best lovers I’ve ever had have been on the smaller side, which I don’t think is a coincidence. My hunch is that because these men feel self-conscious about their size (all of them told me as much at some point), they go out of their way to make up for it, excelling at oral sex and making good use of their fingers as well as positions like doggy-style. Keep reading »
I’m a pretty open-minded chick and the last few months have involved quite a bit of open-legged-ness as well. This sort of slutty period in my life has been both fun and educational, not to mention reintroduced me to some sex acts that I’d never really given a fair shake before. In no particular order, here are five seriously underrated things to do in the sack that I suggest giving another shot.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if we could ascertain whether someone will suck in the sack before, you know, having sex with them? That’s where I come in! Hindsight is 20/20, which means I can look back on some of the bad sex I’ve had and recognize that there were glaring warning signs well before the clothes came off. These are not hard and fast rules, of course, but more often than not, these seven things are glaring red flags that the dude you’re considering humping is going to be a total dud.
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