I’m a pretty open-minded chick and the last few months have involved quite a bit of open-legged-ness as well. This sort of slutty period in my life has been both fun and educational, not to mention reintroduced me to some sex acts that I’d never really given a fair shake before. In no particular order, here are five seriously underrated things to do in the sack that I suggest giving another shot.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if we could ascertain whether someone will suck in the sack before, you know, having sex with them? That’s where I come in! Hindsight is 20/20, which means I can look back on some of the bad sex I’ve had and recognize that there were glaring warning signs well before the clothes came off. These are not hard and fast rules, of course, but more often than not, these seven things are glaring red flags that the dude you’re considering humping is going to be a total dud.
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I love dirty talk. I LOVE IT. All of it, even bad dirty talk because bad dirty talk, while awkward in the moment, is funny as hell later. And good dirty talk — whatever you consider that to mean — can make a world of difference when it comes to getting down. Discovering if and how a new partner talks dirty is probably one of my favorite things about hooking up. Sometimes, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before — your standard ‘Ooh baby, you like that?’ — but there have been a number of dirty talking types who have been particularly memorable. In this episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I’ll introduce you to just some of the dirty talkin’ types you might encounter during your sexual adventures. Time to talk dirty, you sexy motherfuckers.
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I’ve lived in New York City for a little over 10 years. As any of the other writers for The Frisky can tell you (and have written about over and over), dating in this city isn’t as easy as a walk in Central Park. In a city of eight million people where the single women outnumber the single men by roughly 150,000, the stakes are high and the pickings slim. Having been out there floating in that sea for longer than I would have wished on most people, archenemies excluded, naturally I have found myself in sexual predicaments that, tragically, I probably won’t be forgetting anytime soon. Actually, there’s a very good chance I’ll never forget some of these scarring and haunting forays into the ridiculous. And because of this, I think the best way to deal is to share them with someone besides my therapist. Keep reading »
A few months ago, I made a 100-point boyfriend checklist, and while some of the desired qualities listed were a little tongue in cheek, I was dead serious about wanting to find a man who would wipe his cum off me with a warm, wet washcloth. See, after years and years of being cleaned up by men clutching wads of cheap toilet paper, worn-out, dry washcloths, or, god forbid, MY OWN SILK SHIRT, the man for me will have the sense to wonder, Hmm, what would be the most pleasant manner of wiping away my splooge from the skin of the gorgeous woman I just made love to? Because any guy who did would not — would not – reach for the dirty sock on their floor. It’s up to you, fellas, what kind of guy you want to be, but for reference’s sake, here is the hierarchy of cum rags, in infographic form, according to me. You are so welcome.