Tag Archives: sex positivity

The Soapbox: On The World Cup, Objectification & The Problem With Thigh Candy

world cup

When my feminist friends and I began our communal Facebook message thread, we envisioned a no-holds-barred place to discuss careers, gender politics, and the gospel of Beyoncé. But ever since soccer season took the Internet by storm, our only mentions of “Flawless” have concerned abs. In the past week alone, my “progressive” peers and I shared 10 “World Cup Hottie” listicles, 18 winky faces, and too many Netherlands-based puns to count.

As over-the-top as our behavior was, we were never ashamed. There was an implicit empowerment to our objectification, like a hard-earned reward for eons of inequality. Even when I read our conversation (and watched a video of Ronaldo slow-motion jogging) in a very public, very crowded coffee shop, I didn’t bother to turn down my laptop brightness. If anyone saw my screen, I trusted they would be impressed: I wasn’t some creepy guy browsing Google images of Megan Fox — I was a proud woman, flaunting the sex drive to which I was entitled! Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: On The Great Robin Thicke Feminist Knee-Jerk Fiasco Of 2013

Frisky Rant: On The Great Robin Thicke Feminist Knee-Jerk Fiasco Of 2013
Rejected Robin Thicke Songs
Robin Thicke & Paula Patton Announce That They’re Separating
Songs about Paula Patton that did not make the cut, unforch. Read More »

The first time I really listened to the lyrics of “Blurred Lines,” I was like, “This is my JAM!” It only took a few minutes of Googling and reading my favorite feminist blogs, though, before I started becoming horrified and dismayed at the feminist community’s reaction to the song. The Daily Beast kicked off a knee-jerk party by calling it a “rape song,” and from there it was over. Feminist blog after feminist blog started jumping on the bandwagon, then the fervor spread to major news outlets, and all summer I was mired in language that made me feel excluded from a community into which I’ve invested not only my time and energy, but also my identity.

Let me be clear, Robin Thicke as a person seems like a giant douchenozzle and his latest album is pathetic. But I looooove “Blurred Lines.” The accusation that it’s “rapey” is unfounded if you look at the entire song in context: It’s about two sexually expressive people flirting. That’s it. At no point in the song does the male narrator imply that he’s willing or going to bypass consent. The idea that it’s about the “blurred lines of consent” was projected onto it by people who came to the song with prior hangups. The “blurred line” he’s referring to is the line of knowing or not knowing if the person you’re flirting with is into you. Like, “I’m pretty sure I know you want it, but you haven’t expressly said so, so we’re still in this hazy flirting territory.” He doesn’t say — at all, ever — “I know you want it, and whether or not that’s actually true, I’m going to take it.” But nonetheless, that’s what it was made out to be. Keep reading »

True Story: I Was A Reddit Gone Wild Girl

True Story: I Was A Reddit Gone Wild Girl

Here’s something I kept private for a good long time: I was, once upon a time, jane_doe_eyed and RexyRockit on Reddit, and specifically on Reddit’s GoneWild subforum. Ta-da! Hello. You can see a lot of my skin on the Internet. Someone reading this might have pictures of me cached on their hard drive. Nice to meet you. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: “Walk Of Shame”‘s Problematic Plot Shames Sex Workers & Drug Addicts For Cheap Laughs

Frisky Rant: "Walk Of Shame"'s Problematic Plot Shames Sex Workers & Drug Addicts For Cheap Laughs

Oh, I wanted to like “Walk Of Shame.” I wanted to love it. What’s not to love about a movie starring Elizabeth Banks, Gillian Jacobs and Tig Notaro? I was ready for a hilarious rom-com starring several of my favorite funny ladies.

Instead, in the screening room, I sat next to my friend who runs IndieWire’s Women And Hollywood blog and we spent the entire moving grabbing each other’s arm in the dark and incredulously whispering, “This is so fucking offensive.” And not edgy-funny-offensive. Like, ew-offensive.

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, where do I start? (Spoilers ahead, obviously…) Keep reading »

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Is Sex Positive

Ohhhhhh Ryyyyyyyan …  while we’re on the subject, I have a drawer full of tools for you to use anytime. [Sex Radical Ryan Gosling]

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